Apothecary Diaries X Reader - Blog Posts

Perfect | The Apothecary Diaries | Jinshi x reader

cw - you're mute, jinshi calls you perfect a disgusting amount of times, gn neutral but you're referred to as: concubine, doll, toy, flower of the emperor's

i need to feed the tag to revitalize it

Jinshi gently cups your cheeks, palms resting against your face. The calluses tickle your soft skin, making you shiver momentarily.

With a kiss to your forehead, Jinshi lets out a sigh - a long breath, rather. A breath of relief and respite, brought only on by your presence and kind gaze. Unkind gaze. You stare at him in annoyance, bottom lip puffed out as you pout at him. He pays it no mind.

"I find you immaculate; unsullied and... perfect." The purple haired man finds no shame in his words, merely reporting fact like he would to anyone else. Except, maybe without all of the affection and adoration.

The man seems almost obsessed, if you didn't know any better. With a gentle swipe of his thumb back and forth, back and forth across your cheek, you wonder if perhaps he is.

"No flaws on this wonderful face. No flaws on your pretty little pout. I wish you'd glare at me forever." The last sentence is less than a whisper, spoken only to himself that you happen to catch due to the proximity he holds you in.

Your pout loosens, biting nervously on your bottom lip instead after sucking it in. Still, you've yet to say a word to the man. What got into him, possessing him to say all of this? Soft hands cup his, gently tugging them from your face.

"Please," he nearly whimpers, eyes wide in panic.

The reaction makes your eyes widen in tandem, hands stilling as they hold gently onto his, less than a few inches from your face. Head cocking to the side, you silently express your confusion (and maybe concern).

He trembles at your silent words, letting out another long breath; this one more a sigh of embarrassment and acceptance. "You... are perfect. You're like a gift from the heavens just for me, crafted in the image of a thief after nothing more than my heart. I wish to hold you, may I?" The last sentence is tacked on, spoken quickly as his hands move back to your cheeks.

Pursing your lips together slightly, you give him a small pout. The question was merely for show, a courtesy while he did as he pleased anyway. "To stay such a low ranking concubine for the emperor is a waste. You need to be paraded, heralded for your perfection. You— " Jinshi can't stop himself from pressing another kiss to your forehead.

"No. I think I'll keep you to myself. A doll for me to pose as I please, yes? A toy made just for me, as I spoke earlier."

You roll your eyes, an amused smirk tugging at your lips. Jinshi nearly swoons.

"That, right there! Your wonderful reactions. You..." he can't explain it. How is he to summarize everything that makes you you?

A deadpan look is shot at him. Of course you react with your face, isn't that communication? Your hands move to hug at the fabric of his robe, trying to turn his attention back to what you're saying, rather than how you look. Or whatever is on his mind - you didn't bother to learn.

The action works, Jinshi blinking a few times as he sits up slightly. His eyes focus on yours, waiting to decipher your actions. Noticing his obedient change, focusing entirely on you now, you take that as your queue to communicate. So you try.

A neatly manicured finger points to your chest, tapping against the fabric twice. You. Following, you drag both hands up in fists before crossing your forearms. An X..? The action is followed by your hands creating a heart shape, finished by the same pointer finger tapping Jinshi's chest. Heart... Me. Jinshi thinks. You don't heart him. Love? You don't love him? He speaks it out loud, asking if he understood you correctly.

You shake your head, face scrunching up to showcase your disproval. Once again, your arms cross in the shape of an X. So it's not don't, he now knows. "Don't... No...? Maybe unsure? Are you unsure if you love me?"

A smile cracks on your lips, biting one briefly to try and keep it from growing wider. You shake your head - as amusing as his guesses were, they're terribly wrong. This time repeating all the steps, you make the same actions. Point to you, make an X, make a heart, point to Jinshi. Of course, he still seems lost, gazing at you with focused concentration. His eyebrows are knitted together as he tries to unravel your meaning.

For a small moment, your lips part in a mousey sigh. While it's been a few months now since you lost your voice, you still haven't kicked the muscle memory of opening your mouth to respond - or react, in this case.

You hold up your left palm flatly, right hand miming holding a brush as you trace imaginary circles with it. Right away Jinshi knew you were asking for something to write with. He's quick to move. While he doesn't want to be away from you, his hands leave your cheeks so the purple haired man can quickly get you what you ask for - whatever you ask for.

Gently dipping the brush in ink, Jinshi watches you paint characters so delicately onto the paper. You're a bit anxious doing so, knowing how expensive the material is, but knowing you'd just feel worse making him get up again to find something new. That's alright, you'll just write small.

The characters read I can't love you.

He frowns. "Can't... the X," Jinshi makes the symbol with his arms, "meant can't?"

You nod quickly, gently settling the brush down over the paper. Once again, you point to yourself, hold up an X, make a heart, then point to Jinshi.

"You can't love me. You can't love me. But... you can." The eunuch was confused. You can, so easily. He's trying so hard. "Please?" Jinshi whispers.

If you could chuckle - could laugh, you would, but you only pout once again. Picking up the brush, the pads of your fingers gently move down the soft paper. It wasn't the first time you've used it, but so freely felt wrong. Either way, you brushed out more characters.

I'm the emperor's

I'm a concubine

I can't—

Jinshi pouts as well, his hand gently resting over yours to stop the brush work. "You can't love me," he finishes for you. Frowning, you nod.

"He has a habit of giving up lower ranked concubines to those of merit."

You smirk. What merit has Jinshi earned? A mere rear palace eunuch. One with prestige, sure, but not enough to be rewarded with a flower of the emperor. None of this is spoken, of course, but Jinshi easily catches the mirth in your eyes.

Clicking his tongue, his pout deepens. "Teasing me without a voice... only one as perfect as you could accomplish such a feat."

The smirk pulls into a grin, feeling pride at his understanding.

"But, if I may be so bold, I'm sure the emperor will gift you to me. You're mine, after all - I've claimed you."

An eyebrow cocks at his haughty tone, unimpressed and doubtful. The intention gets across as Jinshi huffs, reaching over to pinch your cheek. "Don't be so cruel. You are, you know! And the emperor will agree. He doesn't visit you, anyway."

Insult to injury, but you suppose he's right. You had arrived to the inner court around 5 months ago, and just before your time to finally meet the emperor had arrived nearly 2 months after, you lost your voice. Hearing the news, he decided to meet with someone else while you recovered - something that never happened.

"I hadn't meant anything by that. But it's a good thing now, right? You get to be mine instead. No one else gets to traverse your perfect mind."

You click your tongue this time, the sound one of few you can still make with your mouth. For a eunuch, Jinshi had quite the balls on him. Annoying.

The purple haired man grins at the newly painted characters on the page, unable to hide his excitement at your writing. "Yes! And I'll only be worse once you're finally my spouse."

Unable to keep it at bay, a soft smile appears on your lips. His spouse, huh? Eunuch or otherwise, spending your life by his side sounds very lovely.

Jinshi grabs your hands, pulling them against his chest as he leans in toward you. With a kiss to your forehead, he whispers, "Perfect. You're mine and you're perfect."

You're oblivious and Jinshi's an idiot | The Apothecary Diaries | Jinshi x reader

cw - gn but you're in the rear palace and maidservant is used a few times in reference to you and your job, brief mention of nail picking

You calmly sit beside the purple haired eunuch, feeling a little anxious at placing yourself in such a position. Sitting beside someone of higher rank is criminal, so nonchalantly taking up the same space as they are. Anxiously tapping your fingers against your thighs, hands resting politely in your lap and head turned down, you await his next words.

"You won't turn to me?" He seems slightly teasing, but you're too nervous to check.

Jinshi rests his elbow on top of the no doubt expensive wooden table, chin pillowed by his palm and keeping his head up. His second arm moves forward, hand lifting close to you. With careful movements, Jinshi's pointer finger brushes back a strand of loose hair, finger pad trailing down your jaw until it stops on your chin.

Still, you say nothing, body still and turned down. His pointer finger curls as it slides below your chin, pulling you to the side to look at him. An amused smile is on his lips - he was definitely teasing a moment ago - and a glimmer of affection softens his eyes. "You agreed to dinner, did you not?" He leans toward you ever so slightly, a barely imperceptible change.

"Yes, Master Jinshi," you reply obediently. Perhaps Maomao was busy with lady-in-waiting duties, you had originally thought, assuming that you were called in as a poison taster.

The lean toward you is much more apparent this time, Jinshi letting out a sigh just before doing it. He's a mere few inches from your shoulder, hand dropping from your face to grip the edge of your chair closest to him. "Then I don't understand why you seem so reserved. You're usually much more open and energetic with me."

Your lips part, about to reply with the first thought on your mind, before quickly closing your mouth. One, two, three seconds pass as you think of how to traverse the situation you've found yourself in.

"My apologies, sir,” you choose to reply, “I shouldn't have behaved so inappropriately before.” Each word is chosen with intention as you reply steadily. Is that why you've been called here? For your lax behavior around the rear palace manager?

Yes, you weren't great at maintaining a professional facade while with Jinshi. He could be childish and annoying, that's true, but more than anything you just enjoyed playing with his self-assured and flirtatious persona whenever possible. Light teasing tended to leave him speechless and you adored watching the gears turn in his brain. With certainty, you can say you’re the only maidservant to ever give back the same energy he put out.

Jinshi pulls back, staring at you with a frown as he sits properly in his seat. "That's not what you were going to say."

"No," you agree.

The frown turns to a more pronounced pout, bottom lip jutting out and eyes narrowing. He's acting childish again, something that usually makes you smile (knowing you’ve successfully pushed his buttons) but only serves to make you more nervous as you anxiously pinch the fabric of your attire between your fingers. It's a nervous habit you picked up after trying to stop yourself from picking at your fingernails, each of which are low and choppy even if you've been quite a few months free of the practice.

"What had you wanted to say?" He implores. It's cute, honestly - watching Jinshi stare at you so pleadingly as he tries to keep his voice steady. You glance around, wondering where Gaoshun has been this whole time.

"I want for nothing, Master," you reply uncharacteristically of yourself, the words sounding rehearsed even though you hadn't been expecting this exchange at all.

Join me for dinner, he'd ordered curtly. No other information, merely requesting your presence for the night before leaving. He'd seemed to be in a rush, slightly flustered as he disappeared - likely late for some work he was most assuredly pushing off at the time. You barely finished nodding before he fled the parlor you'd met him in.

"What if I ordered you to tell me?"

"Will you?"

Of course not, Jinshi wants to say, the thought manifesting as a solemn sigh as he looks away. His eyes focus on the large wooden doors ahead, hands tugging at the ends of his hair as he tries to understand where he went wrong. There was no bad blood between you two he had believed - no arguments or chastising or even the slightest criticism or critique.

“Do you even have to ask?" He ends up murmuring lowly. The purple haired man blinks slowly a few times before hearing you sigh to his right. Creaks fill the room as you undoubtedly reposition yourself on the chair he'd pulled over for you to sit in, the sound followed by you clearing your throat.

"What was it you had said? I'm normally more open with you? I was merely going to point out that I'm not normally sitting or standing so closely,” you decide to answer. "I'm never right beside you like this. Our current position only serves to remind me of my rank and where I stand in comparison. I have no right to be here; It's not right for me to be at the same side of the table as you. To be called here for business and then disrespect— "

"Business?" Jinshi cuts you off, eyebrows furrowing as he turns to you with a sincere frown. "Is that why you think I called you here?"

Nervousness shoots up your spine and crawls around your skin as you suddenly feel ruffled. Being made to look a fool isn't something you're unacquainted with being a maidservant, but for some reason, being doled out the same treatment by Jinshi specifically left you feeling embarrassed and flustered. You try to wrack your brain for not only a proper response, but a smart or witty one - yet nothing comes to mind. Without thinking, your fingers come together as you begin picking at the edges of your fingernails. Your sharp tongue has turned limp, feeling heavy in your mouth as you struggle to reply.

It seemed like all Jinshi could do now was frown, the slight flicker of his lips further down causing your breath to hitch. "I'm sorry. It seems I hadn't made my intentions clear," Jinshi pinches the bridge of his nose, feeling annoyed with himself more than anything.

Your sandbag tongue pushes your jaw down, mouth parting as you're about to tell him it's fine - even though you still aren't sure what's happening. Before you can, Jinshi continues: "How would you suggest I ask for someone's hand? I had thought my courting was obvious prior, but now I'm not so sure..."

Courting? In what world had the beautiful eunuch, heartthrob of the rear palace, been courting anyone let alone you? Dozens of admirers, even ones sworn to the emperor, had been clawing each other left and right for a sprinkle of his attention. You'd been able to cozy up to his side as a friend and useful asset inside the rear palace walls, but you never expressed the same adoration and devotion that other palace residents have.

At risk of sounding a little self-centered, you just need to clarify, "You don't mean my hand, surely..?"

Jinshi looks appalled, mouth agape and eyes wide. "Have I been that inconspicuous with my courting? I could've sworn the whole inner court could tell!" He lets out a groan, face falling onto the table in front of him. A loud bang sounds as his forehead lands on the wood harshly.

Have you been that obtuse? Combing through your mind, you recall each time you'd seen Jinshi while out and about, trying to discern if he'd honestly been too discreet or if you'd just managed to write it off. And... nothing comes to mind. Gaoshun had shown more interest in you than Jinshi had, the former always checking up on you and making sure you were alright. His presence held that of a father figure.

Speaking of, where had he run off to? It's rare for you to be completely alone with Jinshi, today marking the first of this occasion. And based on how this is turning out, likely the last as well.

Jinshi flops his head to the side, gazing up at you from the table. "Gaoshun said you took to the gifts I had him deliver," he says childishly, voice soft through his pursed lips as he pouts. "I tried not to express favoritism, as I know you don't enjoy attention from the other maidservants and the court ladies with their needless prying, so I had him drop off small snacks in my stead."

A glimmer shines in your eyes as it finally clicks together. Gaoshun had always been so discreet passing you small snacks every few days. You honestly hadn't thought too much of it outside of thanking him gently, having assumed the older man merely feared for your health on hotter days. It's likely he mentioned at some point that they're from Jinshi and you had simply missed it. Or maybe you were expected to just know..?

Jinshi grumbles, a low hum sounding more like a whine than a groan, before he sits upright in his chair once again. "So, do you not like me?" He asks timidly.

"No," you reply easily. His face falls at this, causing you to backtrack. "I-I mean no I do not not like you. I'm- I'm saying I like you!.. I mean, we're friends, right?"

He pouts childishly, turning away from you with a hmph! "You know that's not what I mean!" The purple haired man's arms are crossed and nose stuck up, body language as dramatic as can be.

Of course you know what he means, yet you can't help but feel unsure anyway. There's no way the Jinshi likes you - a simple laundry attendant who picks on him sometimes. Many girls throw themselves at his feet, so why would he settle for you?

"I think I'm just a little confused," you carefully pick your words. Besides, he's your employer; Is it wise for you to encourage his delusions? There's no way the two of you could have an actual relationship. "You seem to be implying you like me, and I'm unsure if that's your intention." Once more, you shift anxiously in your seat.

The eunuch groans loudly, clearly frustrated with your incessant dismissal of his feelings. "That is my intention, yes. You're welcome to say you don't feel the same, if that's how you feel. However, I'd still like the chance to court you and try to change your mind, if you're comfortable with it."

Flustered and overwhelmed, you shake your head. "Is this appropriate? Can someone in your position court a person so drastically beneath them? What if I fall out of line, wouldn't you still have to correct me?"

A smile tugs at Jinshi's lips for a mere moment before he turns away. "I'm not courting you as the manager of the rear palace. I'd like to court you as a friend, someone you've spent time with absent of titles. I'm not your immediate superior, anyway - those directly above you can issue orders as they see fit, though you've never been the type to step out of line. And, we both know you have only a few months left on your contract. I'm hoping to pin you down before you leave the palace and another man gets to you first."

Now it's your turn to pout, your own lips pursed and eyes narrow as you stare at him. "You enjoy making things difficult," you start. “I can't believe you're doing all this to me. On top of that, you of all people know I do enjoy testing these metaphorical lines,” the last sentence punctuated with a huff.

It's true; that's how Jinshi grew to enjoy your presence. During his time knowing you, you had never been afraid to give back the same energy you received, playing along with Jinshi regardless of positions. However, you've always had a keen sense for what is or isn't allowed around whom - knowing to act like the perfect maidservant around the eunuchs directly responsible for your field of servitude, but understanding even without much prior knowledge that Jinshi is the type to let you get away with a little more.

"Then let's test this one. Let's see if we can push the 'metaphorical line' of our relationship, from professional to romantic," Jinshi's eyes glimmer with hope, a confident grin on his face at what he deemed a perfect segue.

After an annoyed grumble full of incoherent words under your breath, you turn to him with an exasperated sigh. "Fine. I'll allow you to court me - or continue to, rather - during these few months. And once I've fulfilled my contract and am able to return home, we can discuss the idea of potentially changing the status of our relationship."

As you spoke, Jinshi couldn't stop himself from bouncing ever so slightly up and down on his seat, excited beyond all measure. His hand reaches out to you and you flinch, pulling back before he can.

"And only then, Master Jinshi," you add.

He can't even find it in him to be sad, too excited that you've promised him a chance. “Yes, perfect, it’s a deal. Easiest deal I've made in my life. Could I get it in writing?" He begins to ramble on, allowing you to zone out and watch for a moment.

In an attempt to shut him up, you hold out your hand and place it over his mouth. Jinshi has never portrayed himself as someone who detests his own voice, but this was more than you'd ever heard from the man. With a gentle grip, he peels your hand from his mouth via your wrist, holding it tenderly for a moment before placing the tiniest kiss to the skin. Feeling flushed and mind short circuiting, you find yourself frozen in your seat once again. Did he just..?

The large wooden doors suddenly open, Gaoshun finally appearing. He's standing behind Suiren, the two both holding trays containing food. You can barely think, lips parting as you try to come up with a response. Right, you need to—

With Jinshi's hold on your hand, you can't quite hide your face with your sleeves as is custom, instead forced to sit awkwardly with your head bowed as he holds your palm near his face. Does this man know no shame? Your one sleeve is nervously covering the bottom half of your face, hoping for a shred of decency, while Jinshi casually chats with the two as though nothing had happened, is happening. Of course, Suiren and Gaoshun know better than to ask why.

Without a word from you, the two slip out of the office once again, leaving you alone with Jinshi. Your head finally lifts up, noticing the dish in front of the two of you as Jinshi gently drops your hand.

"Like it? Gaoshun had mentioned you'd been particularly happy when he dropped this off to you. I figured that must make it your favorite."

And he's right. You stare down at your favorite meal; The last time you'd gotten a taste was when Gaoshun had secretly passed you a few bites what was now a few weeks ago.

With a small smile, you turn to look at Jinshi. "It is. Thank you."