HEY!!! Trans Tips #5!

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

i never see enough tips for trans women/transfem people so. here’s a video that came up about tucking :] (don’t worry she doesn’t use tape at all despite the thumbnail)

Trans tips #6

YOU DO NOT NEED TO INFANTISE YOURSELF TO BE MORE PALETABLE TO OTHERS

you don't need to infantile yourself

You don't need to be palatable

You don't need to conform to others views and opinions

You don't need to infantise yourself to be more palatable

You don't need to infantise yourself for others

You don't need to be palatable for others

This one is kind of a rant so whatever BUT

I SEE THIS SO OFTEN IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO FERAL

There was this great trans influencer on tiktok, he went by Mars, had all the surgeries, talked about his experiences, had a clothing brand, interacted with fans, allllll the good shit an influencer can do...right? RIGHT!!

I loved his, he's one of the first influencers that made me question my gender identity, made me do my own research and ask myself questions and start to realize that I, too, might be Trans

Fuckin love that guy! He's great!

But you know what's one thing that made me cringe away from him! HE INFANTISED HIMSELF SO MUCH

This goes for trans women and men, you don't need to make yourself look like a meek lil defenseless thing to be palatable to others! PLEASE

He called himself a boy ALL. THE. TIME even though he's a full ass man with a beard and body hair and age and wisdom he call himself a little boy!

He got the testosterone jelly but he called it his "boy goo" STOP IT

He stood slouched and pitched his voice up for the camera and tried to make himself sound and appear as meek and whimpy and vulnerable as he could! Just in the way he carried himself in his videos!! And it INFURIATES ME BEYOND BELIEF!!!!!!!

DONT INFANTISE YOURSELF

It's testosterone jelly, not "boy goo" even "man goo" or "man slime" if you still wanted a stupid lil name for it just ANYTHING BUT BOY GOO also that just sounds weird to begin with!!!

Your a MAN not a BOY unless you are the AGE of a BOY you are a MANNNN

Same with trans women!!!! You are not a GIRL you are a WOMAN unless you are the AGE of a GIRL you are a WOMANNNNNN

And I get it, you don't wanna be that big intimidating trans person coming in public restrooms like what the media says is evil and blah blah blah

But your fucking NOT

INFANTISING YOURSELF IS TRANS ERASURE

We are not meant to hide in the shadows or be in the back of the classroom or anything like that! Be proud about who you are! Square your shoulders! Chin up! Pick up your feet! Walk with confidence! PLEASE

End of rant but I just needed to get that out of my system

Also i have a rant about trans people sexualizing themselves but that's a different rant for another day!

With the ides of march fast approaching we must be prepared

Please reblog to make sure everyone is equipped!

my favourite thing about before and after transition photos is the "before" photo feels like emotionally washed out even if the subject is doing the photo smile you can feel the discomfort through the image versus the "after" photo where they look like the sun is shining, birds are singing, the world is so beautiful and it's wonderful to be alive. life is worth living!!! & it's worth living because we get to be transgender. love you all <3 <3 <3

men in queer spaces do not have to be feminine in order to be seen as "acceptable" or a part of the space.

Trans story time!

I had a dream last night!

In my dream I was looking at my shitty little pre-t "lash-stach" in my bathroom mirror, kinda pushing my lip around and brushing it, wishing it would grow

And my fiancé poked her head around the corner to remind me to shave before our date. I turned my head to look at her, and told her I would

When I looked back in the mirror, I looked completely different, with a full beard, wider face, more "masculine" features

And I was stressed, looking through the drawers for a razor I could not find, i pulled out nail clippers and tweezers and eventually, I just put my hands on the counter and looked in the mirror at myself again

I ran my hand through my beard and judged weather i really needed to trim it or if it was acceptable for this date

And I remember pausing, and looking into my own big brown eyes, and thinking

"I knew it would get better one day"

Anyway

I woke up and went to rub my chin, and just felt this distant sadness as my hand met my smooth skin

But yeah. I feel like this is one of those dreams you hear about that just has this absolutely raw dialogue line

Anyway, how's your guys day going?

Trans tips #7!

It's okay to experiment with your Gender and Sexuality!

It's okay to go through the full cycle to find what works best for you!

And now! A comprehensive list of all of my sexuality and gender changes from the start of my journey to now, to be used as an example:

Straight! Cis Woman! I had a boyfriend who cornered me at a school dance to ask me out! I didn't like him, but i had no spine so...we dated for a year without kissing or holding hands or anything...

Pan! Cis Woman! I met queer friends who introduced me to the concept of Gender and Sexuality! I still consider Pansexuality as absence of Gender in the criteria for dating...also broke up with that boyfriend

Bi! Cis Woman! I also considered Bisexuality to be some consideration of Gender in the criteria of dating

Lesbian! Cis Woman! I made alot of jokes about slowly excluding men or masc presenting people from the dating pool

Gay! Cis Woman? I started thinking about Gender Expression a bit more, Gay was a safe umbrella term for me to explore under

*this is when I met my fiance...we started dating the same night we met...(insert uhaul joke here)*

Gay! Non binary Woman? Started messing with they/them Pronouns, at the time it was something like She/They

Gay! Non binary! This was a short time frame where I felt an absence of femininity within myself, anything fem!presenting made me uncomfortable (makeup, clothing, ect)

Gay! Gender Fluid! I actually came out like this to my younger sibling first because I knew they could be trusted. Also made jokes about stealing everyone's Gender because alot of my friends started coming out at some form of NB...also I had bursts of hyper femininity followed by long bouts of masculinity...until I stopped feeling feminine for a year and was in full denial that it would come back (every time I looked at my feminine clothing in my closet I felt sick, this is when I knew what was coming)

Queer! Gender Fluid! Queer fit me better considering i was He/They/She/It dating a They/She (Side note I don't really go by it, I just live in the Bible belt where morons call me "it" to make me feel bad, if I include it at least they're still gendering me correctly)

Queer! Transgender! Me currently :) I've given all of my feminine clothing to my cousin in law, and with my fiances support I've been coming out to my family.

I know I am in a safe place to do so now that I have my own place with people I trust! I will make another post on coming out next! NOT THE POINT

POINT IS GENDER AND SEXUALITY CAN CHANGE AND YOU CAN EXPERIMENT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHATS RIGHT FOR YOU!!!

Also don't rush into decisions! Each of these transitions took months to a year before I figured it was right! This whole process took 7 years and I only just came out as Trans at the beginning of the new year 2025!

But take your time to get a feel for these things, it can take time to adjust and feel your feelings about certain things! You got this and I'm proud of you!

genuinely have had numerous people tell me that as a trans man i'm "a men's rights activist invading trans spaces".

so many people legitimately do not see trans men as trans.

i need people to understand that so many people for some reason have the idea that trans = feminine or woman. it's a real issue.

how are trans men invading trans spaces? this is where we live. and of course we're gonna advocate for our own rights. why wouldn't we? we don't exist to self flagellate because the idea of transsexual and transgender manhood and masculinity frightens you. i'm a trans man. i'm trans. i'm not invading my own community.