Jake: I Can Stop Whenever I Want.

Tubbo: You are the definition of a bad genetic pool!

Tommy: Hey don’t say that to a man!

Tubbo: Oh you’re right I retract it…actually no i don’t. Cry. Cry. Give me some tears.

Ranboo: I will make my eyes drier actually.

Tubbo: Oh god no stop blink please

Kidnapper holding Stiles ransom: Try anything funny and he gets it!

Sheriff Stilinski: Don't kill him!

Kidnapper: We won't do nothing so long as we get what we want.

Sheriff Stilinski: I wasn't talking to you. Stiles, don't you dare do anything!

Kidnapper: W-what?

danny: please peer pressure me into finishing my projects

stiles: do it or you’re straight

danny: i said peer pressure not THREATEN

Wholesome Cicero Being Sick Headcanons

So i saw this headcanon post floating around about how Cicero would handle the Listener being sick, and today I figured “okay, buuut… what if Cicero was sick instead?” :0

Since he was likely horrendously malnourished during and after his time in Cheydinhal, and because he’s moving to a new province full of different strains of illness, Cicero gets sick. A lot. 

He hides it as best he can as he continues to do the Keeper boogaloo unbeknownst to his family, often to the point where he overworks himself and everyone is freaking out because he’s passed out on the floor again

Tries really hard to make it seem like he’s fine, especially when the Listener isn’t around at the time, because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden to anyone 

meanwhile he’s somehow paler than he already is and his skin is literally on fire

Sore throats are almost a guarantee because of how much he talks, and he hates whenever he gets them 

There have definitely been times where he’s worked his voice so raw to the point where he just physically can’t speak, and it’s torturous for him. How can he jest in a timely manner if he has to write down his jokes?!

Him being cared for is absolutely torturous for him, too

He’s used to being the one doing all the caring, and having it the other way around really throws him for a loop

Lowkey feels like he doesn’t deserve the care, honestly

He gets oddly shy asking for stuff, even if the person he asked was the one who offered in the first place, especially if it’s someone other than his Listener 

He just feels like he’s on thin ice with most, if not all of the family for how he’s acted in the past, and being in such a vulnerable state where he kinda HAS to ask makes him really uncomfortable

He swears, though, if he has to drink another one of Babette’s disgusting potions that’ll supposedly make him feel better, he will scream 

Just tiny ol Cicero all bundled up in a cocoon of blankets, holdin a bowl of soup

He tends to eat very little when he’s sick

He’s very antsy about getting back to work and usually insists he’s fine and can get back to what he’s doing, but if he’s severely ill and he knows? He generally won’t push it. But he has to be like… actually bedridden for him to get to that point.

If you thought he was cold before… buddy, buddy ol pal,,, this bitch freezin

it is the one thing he will complain about consistently when he’s sick

you could probably throw him in the fire place and he would still be cold 

Both loves and hates taking baths when he’s sick - loves it because guaranteed quality warm and temporarily unstuffed nose. Hates it because he knows he’s eventually going to have to get out at some point, and it’s gonna be Cold. Very Fucking Cold. 

Definitely doesn’t sleep well at all when he’s sick 

Like even shittier than he already does, unless he gets something from Babette to put him to sleep 

just a very restless boi 

techno: why is tubbo on ranboo’s shoulders?

phil: he likes to be tall

Cicero: SLEEP? ION KNOW ABOUT SLEEP ITS SUMMERTIME-

Astrid: YOU BETTER GO TO BED

Cicero: oh no she caught me

🏰 Gallifreyan Legends and Fairytales

Most Gallifreyans would have you believe that myths and fairytales are either historical records distorted by time or pointless escapades into fantasy. And yet, woven into the very fabric of Time Lord culture, legends persist—some as warnings, some as bedtime stories, and some as fragments of very uncomfortable truths.

Here are just a few of the stories passed down through Gallifreyan history.

📜 Lady Patience and the Paradoxica Cards

Long before the River of Time became what it is today, it was merely a small tributary flowing down Mount Perdition. The people of the Capitol had achieved great power, but they had severed their connection with the past and future. Their society was frozen in stasis—sterile, dying.

Lady Patience, a noblewoman, desperately desired a child. Every night, she searched for a wizard or soothsayer who could grant her one, but none could help.

Finally, she found a Stranger—a man working to expand the tributary of time. He gave her an old bag and told her to fill it with water from the Sea of Life. When it was full to the brim, she would find the child she sought.

But the bag had a hole. She tried to fill it, but the water ran out every time. For months, she tried, attempting to patch the bag, but the patches always fell off, spilling the water upon the shore.

With every failed attempt, something strange happened. The wet patches stiffened, forming cards, each depicting all of reality. These became known as the Paradoxica—cards that could chart the shape of existence itself.

She continued her task until the entire Sea of Life was drained. At its emptied depths, she found a child. And in that moment, the curse was broken, restoring Gallifrey's past and future.

🎴 The Paradoxica Cards

According to legend, Lady Patience's discarded patches became a tool of great power. The Paradoxica deck was said to:

Chart the shape of reality—some cards held the past, others the future, and some the forever-present.

Be capable of transportation through time and space—if used with the power of a TARDIS.

Induce amnesia or disorientation—especially in lesser beings with low artron energy. (Time Lords included, on occasion.)

They are exceedingly rare—but if you ever find one, be very careful what you deal.

🦢 Other Tales of Gallifreyan Children

Gallifreyan nursery stories offer a variety of explanations for where children come from:

🪻 Infants are found beneath gooseberry bushes at the bottom of Rassilon's Garden.

🕊️ The Great Gallifreyan Stork delivers them (though, considering Gallifrey's atmosphere, that's one resilient bird).

🧚 The Loom Fairy blesses certain Houses (or curses them, depending on perspective).

Of course, none of these stories hold up under scrutiny—but that never stopped a Time Tot from believing.

📕Cautionary Tales for Gallifreyan Children (and arguably adults, too)

⛓️ The Story of the Rock

Two Time Lords, traveling through a scorching desert, came across a massive red stone cube.

Chained to the rock was a man, thin, starving, his teeth sharp and yellow, his chains rusted with age.

'Please,' he begged. 'Come closer. Look at what's behind the rock.'

One of the Time Lords, curious, stepped around to the other side.

And vanished.

The other waited in the sand for a week, listening to the Chained Man's whispers. But they never gave in.

The first Time Lord was never seen again.

🦇 The Toclafane, the Watchmaker, and Other Gallifreyan Nightmares

I won't lie—many stories told to toddlers aren't exactly The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and many of these bogeymen actually exist.

💀 The Toclafane – A general term for scary creatures Time Tots were warned about.

🔧 The Watchmaker – A time-warping entity that exists to remove all time anomalies, including bringing death to Gallifreyans who have been touched by paradoxes.

🐦 Pandora's Ghost – The first Lady President of Gallifrey, executed via D-Mat dispersal, is said to haunt the Vaults. On Gallifrey, her soul lingers in the Matrix. On Earth, her legend became Pandora's Box.

🕷️ The Shakri – Live in an adjacent dimension known as Darkspace; they are said to exterminate species before they spread too far. Time Tots were told to behave, lest they attract their attention.

🌌 Koltroxa – The story of a being trapped drifting through time until she died of old age.

🧙‍♂️ Malador – the immortal, indestructible evil eventually imprisoned by the Ancients, who created an army of living statues called the Melkur. (Which, by the way, are still out there. Waiting.)

🧛‍♂️ Great Vampires – Gallifrey's history with vampires bleeds into their kids' bedtime stories, warning Time Tots of their terrifying power and their lifelong genetic obligation to kill them on sight.

🔵 Blue Fire (Mi'en Kalarash) – A Great Old One who lives in the 'wasteland between realities'. It stimulates a sleeping victim's limbic system and feeds on the artron energy produced by fear and nightmares.

🩸 Zagreus – Zagreus sits inside your head Zagreus lives among the dead Zagreus sees you in your bed And eats you when you're sleeping

➕ Others – Others include the Fendahl, the Fendahleen, Salyavin, the Krafayis, and the Weeping Angels.

🙀 Slightly Less Terrifying Stories

Thankfully, they do have a few 'nicer' ones by comparison.

🏙️ The Lost City of Altrazar – Said to appear once every thousand years in normal space on the planet Nirvana.

⏳ The Time Sprites – Legends claim there's one trapped inside every TARDIS.

🪱 Time Vortex Leeches – Said to hijack timeships and take them to their crew's lost lovers.

🌠 Higher Evolutionaries – Dimensional pioneers said to have woven the web of parallel timelines.

🌇 The Lost City of the Archons – A city belonging to the last of the Great Old Ones, existing in the Great Desolation.

👶 Humans – Some stories talk about the species 'wearing the skins' of Gallifreyans and abandoned Gallifreyan children being raised by humans.

📖 Classics – Gallifreyan children also know The Three Little Sontarans, The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes, and Snow White and the Seven Keys to Doomsday.

👑 Benncuig III – Possibly Gallifrey's only intentional children's author, Benncuig III wrote Lullabies for Time Tots, including stories about Rassilon and the story of Rassilon's Tower in the Dark Zone.

🏛️ What Do These Stories Tell Us?

Gallifreyan fairytales aren't just stories for kids—they're warnings. Warnings about curiosity, interference, and the dangers of straying too far from order ...

(Assembled from ROOG + TARDIS Wiki)

Whoniverse Facts for Friday by GIL

Any orange text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →📢Announcements |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts → Features: ⭐Guest Posts | 🍜Chomp Chomp with Myishu →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

Eyes

Ranboo yelling at Quackity: "I will fight you!"

Tubbo glaring at Quackity from behind Ranboo: *mouthing "Try it and I will kill you*

if i had a nickel for every time castiel has stolen a straight couple's kid to raise them with dean as their own, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.