Hans Axel Von Fersen, The First Of The RoV MC Art Series I Drew! I Find It Hilarious That It Was Fersen

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please do something kind for yourself today. treat yourself as your oldest and dearest friend. speak gently to yourself, treat yourself to your favourite meal or activity. in a world that demands so much of you, at the very least you owe it to yourself to be kind.

well shit I reblogged to the wrong blog again. Oh well. Have fun with my raw vulnerability

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Dear Reader,

I'm glad that I got to experience life as a girl. I really am. It brings me to tears just thinking about it. Sure, there are drawbacks, but so many positives. I mean...

For example, it was nice to play with the other girls because they never treated me roughly. I could feel safe with them. And it's so lovely to wear dresses and skirts and cute accessories with no one thinking it's odd. It's nice to not feel so self-conscious about expressing my emotions. It's comforting to be able to connect and commiserate with others who have experienced girlhood and/or are living as a woman.

But... as I continue to see my therapist, I become more aware of how my anxiety manifests, how I often feel trapped or unseen by the world, for seemingly no reason that I can discern. The feeling of being trapped keeps returning. I'm scared of what it might mean. Maybe it's not related to my gender at all. But I'm still scared of it. And yet I hope to unravel it one day.

Today I went to shower and saw my body in the mirror, and maybe I'm just tired, but I felt so wrong. Another thing I'm not able to explain. And earlier when I spoke with my father, I hated every word that came out of my mouth, not because I thought what I was saying was dumb or irrelevant, but because suddenly, my voice didn't sound like mine.

By the way, I'm not a boy. In case you're asking that, I want to make it clear. To call myself a boy or a man just doesn't feel quite right. But I am always a person, and I don't mind calling myself a woman... sometimes.

I wish this was easy. But I have a feeling this is what the Death card that came up in a recent tarot reading (I know, I'm silly) meant for me. I interpreted it as needing to really grieve something in order to keep moving forward with my life. And I don't know, it all feels connected somehow.

Maybe this is simply part of my path to becoming a woman? I wonder.

For now I just need to cry. Like Chihiro from Spirited Away. I still remember the message I took from the ending of the film, that filled me with such sadness.

"I can never return to my childhood."

ok so. i decided to make a uquiz where i assign you an animal from the poll i did recently <3 take it if you wish;

I’m a cis man sure but i also wanna opt out of the gender binary. None of that shit is my fault or my responsibility and i don’t want any part of it

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

Made him too serious had to add his silly back

pigeon shapes!

Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you