I Think I Was Born To Be A Tour Guide For A Whale Watching Program For The Explicit Reason That I Dont

i think i was born to be a tour guide for a whale watching program for the explicit reason that i dont particularly give a shit about whales that much. like theyre neat and beautiful and great creatures but most of the time when you go whale watching youre never watching a whale. this is where i come in to infodump at you about various seagulls, petrels, perhaps even an albatross, or point out the various jellyfish floating just beneath the surface and pontificate about the wondrous nature of the life cycle of a cnidarian. i think every whale watching tour would be incredibly successful if they had someone on the crew who went to smoke a cigarette when a whale showed up and then when they werent showing up appeared to gush at you about pelagic loons.

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sumactic

2 weeks ago

super simple low-effort ao3 summary methods that are 1000% better and 1000% less annoying than just saying you suck at summaries:

copypaste the first few lines of the fic. u already wrote ‘em. let ‘em be their own damn hook

if ur feeling fancy & don’t mind showing ur hand a bit, copypaste the first few lines of the fic that u feel are esp. Important or Interesting - the ones where u first start getting into the real meat of things

state the main tropes! theyre probably already in ur tags - just say them again - maybe as a full sentence if ur feelin fancy. or with a joke if ur feelin Extra fancy

ask a question. pose a hypothetical. eg what happens if u take [character] and put them in [situation]?

make an equation. [character] + [thing] = [outcome]

just write like a one-sentence summary of what the fuck is going down. just one (1) sentence. doesnt matter if it doesn’t cover every important aspect. or if it sounds bland. any summary sentence is gonna be miles better than “idk i suck at summaries”

just…explain the fic like u would to a friend? it doesnt have to be a polished back of the book blurb. it can just be “[pairing] coffee shop au, but like, still with murder, and also i made everyone trans. enjoy”

just stick a meme in there

honestly who cares

just put literally anything but a self deprecating comment in there & ur golden

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writing reference

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sumactic

3 weeks ago

diving for shells

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cool art mcsr

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sumactic

4 weeks ago

GOING FOR WORLD RECORD

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cool art mcsr

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sumactic

3 weeks ago

theater panoptica

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cool art this is gorgeous divorcesteal

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sumactic

4 weeks ago

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sumactic

3 weeks ago

Text over photographs:

This panel is the concentrated effort of 4096 days. It will take approximately 2.5 seconds to read.

Does this bother you?

Keep your eyes on the line.

[ Side text: The Earth's crust contains the neural centre of the human consciousness, fossilized between layers of plant life and extant decay. The entirety of the human experience is contained to a radius of 251,966 miles around a molten core.
The people of Earth call this "Home". ]

Follow me.

Everything you see here is the result of a million hands that you will never know,

Does this bother you?

[ Side text: Grief is the most complex mineral structure currently known to occur naturally in the mantle of the cervical spine. To excavate it without ecological damage takes time.

We cannot pass through this world alone. We stand on the rich soil of the graves of millennia, and our hands are dirty. ]

Text over images:

Someone learned the placement of your bones to make sure you were well. Someone argued for a steering wheel that was easier to hold when your hands were tired. Someone logged the wood for your home, mined the earth for your silverware, learned how to harness lightning so you could see yourself in the dark. Do you think of them? Do you thank them?

It is the work of others to sustain me. It is specialist work, with specialist tools. I cannot meet the inventors of the incubators that bore me through my first life. I cannot express my gratitude to those who mapped the distribution of bones so mine could be studied in comparison. My blood donor was a stranger.

There are days when I feel guilty for being loved.
For being given.

What a cruelty, to deny ourselves this.

thinkin

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sumactic

1 month ago

evangelicals being like "god made men to do This and be like This and women to do That and be like That that's just how it is" and it's just a picture of a white man and woman following traditional gender norms makes me so insane like you boring fascist fucks. god made 2 million species of beetles. god made whales, ducks, humans, and 1500 other species capable of same sex behavior. god made fish and amphibians that change sexes. god made more than 30 different intersex variations in human beings. god, in his infinite curiosity. wake up!!! fuck!!

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sumactic

1 month ago

Something Something Long Dead Minecraft Servers Evidence Of A Life Once Lived Etc Etc

something something long dead minecraft servers evidence of a life once lived etc etc

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cool art minecraft

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sumactic

1 week ago

honestly you all are so annoying because motherhood IS interesting but fandom people are simultaneously obsessed with deciding that every woman has motherly qualities and completely disinterested in actually exploring motherhood as a role that informs a character. I do think exploring a character being a mother can be wildly interesting if they are canonically one, but because of misogyny, people just view motherhood as a totally unremarkable naturalized state that all women must inhabit!

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sumactic

1 month ago

reddit, how do I make my firstborn stop playing with the fans, the ornaments, and the makeup when he is supposed to be a warlord. I fear I shall raise a poet.

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