@gaul-the-unmitigated

as a celebration of ao3's bday i got some of the best out of context quotes from the site (I'vebeen keepingthis im my notes since 2019 so this is not at all the only ones lol) read under cut!

if you want kidneys we got so many dead bodies around here

I am going to set this school on fire!""...That's kinda hot,"

he looked like he had been caught chugging milk by the ghost of Hitler

"I think I'm balding and I'm not sure whether it's the stress or the genetic mutation.

i couldn't have a seizure, i just dont have it in me

"What more do you need?" "Proof"

CAN you beat someone to death with a paper napkin?" "I'll have fun trying."

he doesn’t think that killing himself counts as suicide, at the very least.

“Uh,” he says, intelligently“What took you so long?

“Motherfucker broke my arm

Why do you have contacts in the Italian mafia?” “Why don’t you? They have really good food.”

Pardon my language, sir, but are you fucking kidding me

it was probably best if the media didn’t know their biggest lead on the case was human experimentation.

in the eyes of the law I'm a useless rug.

“Are you ok?” he gave her a shaky smile, then promptly passed out.

AND NOW the tags

I respect women so much i don't even go near them

wanna see how a icecream shop starts the next war?

two four six eight who do we appreciate?Not the government!

how long do we have to wait to joke about traumatic experiences?

That could potentially be a health concern… but hey, why worry about things like that?

I look like a hobo and have the personality of decaf coffee.Try and call me out like that. Little shit. I know you read Twilight . Fight me.

Cross my heart and hope, hope, hope to die

i was very confused and upset when i found out about heterosexualsthe

future is meaningless but pasta is now

Everytime i do that, i swear to myself i would never do it again, and yet here i am. Doing it

If i didn't know i was the best, i might be tempted to think i am an idiot

On top of all that the fucker couldn’t breathe right.

when you start to die...don't

Why weren’t words working the way they were supposed to?

there is no point in holding in my rage, since it may as well be everyone’s problem

Was at the art museum earlier and i have a new favourite painting

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924

and his eyebrows are black

here she is

did i just drive ten kilometers in the cold to pet some random cat for half a hour?

yes

yes i did

friends drawing of a bird

average transangelic exodus propaganda

Is it just me or are the new tumblr users convinced there's a penalty of some kind for using this site like it's meant to be used?

new and magnificent beasts will arise from the muck. trust me on this one