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Out Of Context Quotes - Blog Posts
as a celebration of ao3's bday i got some of the best out of context quotes from the site (I'vebeen keepingthis im my notes since 2019 so this is not at all the only ones lol) read under cut!
if you want kidneys we got so many dead bodies around here
I am going to set this school on fire!""...That's kinda hot,"
he looked like he had been caught chugging milk by the ghost of Hitler
"I think I'm balding and I'm not sure whether it's the stress or the genetic mutation.
i couldn't have a seizure, i just dont have it in me
"What more do you need?" "Proof"
CAN you beat someone to death with a paper napkin?" "I'll have fun trying."
he doesn’t think that killing himself counts as suicide, at the very least.
“Uh,” he says, intelligently“What took you so long?
“Motherfucker broke my arm
Why do you have contacts in the Italian mafia?” “Why don’t you? They have really good food.”
Pardon my language, sir, but are you fucking kidding me
it was probably best if the media didn’t know their biggest lead on the case was human experimentation.
in the eyes of the law I'm a useless rug.
“Are you ok?” he gave her a shaky smile, then promptly passed out.
AND NOW the tags
I respect women so much i don't even go near them
wanna see how a icecream shop starts the next war?
two four six eight who do we appreciate?Not the government!
how long do we have to wait to joke about traumatic experiences?
That could potentially be a health concern… but hey, why worry about things like that?
I look like a hobo and have the personality of decaf coffee.Try and call me out like that. Little shit. I know you read Twilight . Fight me.
Cross my heart and hope, hope, hope to die
i was very confused and upset when i found out about heterosexualsthe
future is meaningless but pasta is now
Everytime i do that, i swear to myself i would never do it again, and yet here i am. Doing it
If i didn't know i was the best, i might be tempted to think i am an idiot
On top of all that the fucker couldn’t breathe right.
when you start to die...don't
Why weren’t words working the way they were supposed to?
there is no point in holding in my rage, since it may as well be everyone’s problem
The first bit of actual novel WIP content!!!
The poll came out in a three way tie, so I'm planning on redoing the post... Until then, here you go! Absolutely no context! :]
'I gotta say, I never understood the concept of tentacles being hot, but now I *really* don't get it'
@deadandgaysetanta @queen-of-hobgobblers @redkarmakai
Reblog with a line from your current work-in-progress fanfiction taken COMPLETELY out of context.
Mine is:
“Oh I’m swell,” Leo said, before promptly coughing up blood.
“I’m converting to women.”
“Like, how, you’re already a woman.”
“Making out with them.”
“Oh.”
“I do not have many guys in my house, they’re either twinks or two days old.”
“Got so tired from working on this research project the last month and a half and all day today that I literally went over to plug in my styrofoam cup to my phone charger thinking it would refill it. It has not worked.”
"What is my life at this point but a bunch of wicked coincidences and car accidents"
“I am dead, actually decaying, his rizz game couldn’t outmatch her mentally ill game.”
“If ur gonna be on ur phone drive better while ur doin it I dunno. At least hold it out so u can see the window like a pro. It’s a joke calm down. Someone’s gonna get mad at that.” — same guy from the Stormchaser livestream
“Looks like everyone in this area got their license from a crackerjack box”
“I hate the tendons under my knees, every time I poke them I get an existential crisis.”
“Please don’t rhyme Jesus with Fetus,” — My APUSH teacher.
“What food are you going to put in the fridge?”
“Just a really bright light.”
“Oh, that’s my favorite. I’m a photosynthesizing organism.”
“I know.”
— A wonderful exchange between myself and a friend in art class.
“I’m the Devil on your shoulder. Or the deviled egg on the window sill. Eat it. Think about it. If it weren’t there for you not to eat it then why would it be there?” — Someone at my art class table.
Things @sketchbook-gal-xe has said in the last few hours.
I just want to fall through the earth' I just want to be a walking face'
I am the one who wins.
I wanna weedcat.
cat stop eating the curtains.
it asked for my e-mail and password, and I started crying.
I'm surprised the tag FUCK Fortnite isn't this popular thing.
Just heard my sister say
"and then he started tap dancing, but he was wearing heels so he fell over"
I have no idea what the context is.
random shit my friends say unprompted (part 1?)
1) "i want to impregnate at least 50 women in my lifetime" (said by a cisgender straight woman mind you)
2) "you don't get my whimpering audio OR my pencil"
3) "you are interrupting my freedom of thought shut the fuck up"
4) "but mom!! the pipe bomb feels good!!"
“Why are we listening to badger screams?”
“I’m ROLEPLAYING”
shit i heard in the halls at high school
(pt 5)
" he came in, threatening..." *long pause* " ..lives"
"salad without eggs is like communism"
"i wish my bf was a boy scout so he could tie me up like that"
"i was singing tacones rojos-" "you weren't singing it right"
"straight bi or otherwise keep your hands off other men's thighs"
"my favorite part about easter break was bullying seven year olds"
"a Tootsie roll with red flags"
"now they do buy 2 get one free vasectomy"
"I didn't know what to write so i wrote the plot to sherlock in Spanish"
"awww i can't download tin- wait sorry i was thinking about tits"
shit i heard in the halls at high school
(pt 4)
"enchanted with hepatitis"
"and he shattered the window bc he stabbed it with a pencil"
"yeah well i have high hopes that im perfectly fine"
"she literally screenshot-ed my own story and then cut ME out of it"
"imagine what it's like. to be trump"
"do I LOOK like a finger doctor, nerd?"
"I really don't like church" "you're white, of course you like church"
"is that ur ankles or ur toes"
"ur a golfing unicorn"
"i wonder what they're thinking of, other than.... pedophilia"
shit i heard in the halls at high school
(pt 3)
"Well you're friends with all the hOmOsExUaLs"
"what's that?" " that's called FEELINGS with a bunch of sad emojis around it"
*to her jacket* "why is the pocket stuck you WHORE?!?!"
"TAKE THAT BANANNAS!"
"do you like it? it's cottagecore" "oh yea sure" "wdym? you're a lesbian! it's like your culture!"
"I don't want transportation, I want transgender"
"I'm am entrepreneur, I steal fish"
"papa could I have some watermelon"
*loudly, to phone* "why are you asking to FaceTime me I don't even know you and I'm in school NO"
"leave room for jesus, no premarital sex"
shit i heard in the halls at school
(pt 2)
"he wants to marry her?" "ya he's got a brain injury"
"I'm doing it. I don't care if I havE TO JUMP DOWN THERE AND DO IT MYSELF MYSelf. I'm doing it"
*as Cinderella walks down the stairs* "dang she THICC"
"I know it's infected! How do you know it's infected"
*male voice* "Kaden I think we have a good grudge running and to make it up we should have intercourse"
*loud male voice* "Taylor, showin' off those guns baby, yeah!"
*holding a candle and smelling it* "why does it smell like boy??,,, But WHY does it smell like BOY??"
"This is Salem, not the hood"
*obnoxiously bright voice* "are we gonna be POSITIVE today?"
"Has anyone ever told you to shut up? ...no? Well I am now"
i had started doing these on my old blog but lets start it up again (because im dedicated to this list)
shit i heard in the halls at school
(pt 1)
*male voice* "THATS MY TITTY AMBER"
boy1: *runs at the other* "ImMa gEtCha ImMa gEtcHa"
boy2: *panicked noises and running away"
"I have a headache and life if meaningless but at least I finished my geometry homework'
"well sorry I don't want my first kiss to be with nasty-ass mcmono"
"would you cut off your balls? *then again, more intense* but would you cut off your balls???"
"hey *random boy* what's your opinion on boobs?"
"do you wanna try my shoe on?"
"now *that's* a DM to send to your girlfriend"
"YOU DREW ME AS MEGAMIND????????"
"thanos corn dog"
also out of context chat between me and pookie @dual-poet-identity which i might make a whole like... bit of these cuz out of context texts between me and the pook are the best