synfulrants

Latest Posts by synfulrants

watching a comfort show while having consistent flashbacks and going through other personal stuff is a recipe for disaster (splitting)

Who up stuck in they denial spiral (posting this instead of completely deleting everything I have)

This is the guy who made the first genetically-engineered babies (a horrific ethics violation that landed him 3 years in prison) and his tweets are so unhinged that I genuinely can't tell if he's trying to be funny or is 100% serious

dear systems,

— its okay to have inconsistent amnesia barriers.

- its okay to not recall times when you were fronting.

- its okay to have full amnesia blocks sometimes, and emotional amnesia other times with no identifiable pattern.

- its okay to not have amnesia between switches sometimes.

— its okay to not have gatekeepers.

- its okay to not know if you do or do not have any gatekeepers.

- it is okay to wish you had a gatekeeper.

— its okay to have no control over switches.

- its okay to switch frequently.

- its okay to have a low splitting tolerance.

— its okay to be polyfragmented.

— its okay to have no communication.

— its okay to feel upset that youre a system.

- its okay to feel frustrated that these things are out of your control.

- its okay to not be making any “improvements” in communication or functionality.

- its okay to be angry.

— its okay to be scared.

DID is like a teleporting + time travelling "superpower" sometimes

like whoa 5 minutes ago i was at my partners house now im in my room on my pc confused as hell but going w it for "the vibes"

Imagine unexpectedly popping up in Valhalla with your pants around your ankles because just half a minute ago you were taking a shit so bad that the Viking gods decided that it should count as dying in battle.

Fakeclaiming (in the context of plurality) often stems from insecure systems projecting their internalised anti-weirdness and pluralmisia onto others in an effort to prove they’re “one of the good ones” to neurotypical society. 

“Weird” people making fun of the “weirder” to be more accepted by the “normals” is nothing new in marginalised communities, nor has it ever been productive. If you are someone who does this, do know that the bigoted neurotypicals won’t like you any more because you threw people who were slightly more different under the bus. You’re still a “weird multiple” who deviates from (and thus threatens) the status quo in their eyes, and the second you present even a bit outside the narrow standard of what they’ve deemed acceptable for those like you, or the second you stop trying to assimilate, they will start hating and invalidating you too. Fakeclaiming is unhelpful and accomplishes nothing, it only creates toxicity and works to marginalise us further. 

splitting is not inherently bad

having a higher alter count than u used to is not bad

dormancy is not inherently bad

having a lower alter count than u ued to is not bad

no matter how ur system is functioning... IT IS NOT BAD

being a system is not an inherently bad or evil thing it is out of ur control and so im TELLING u.. u r not a bad person for having DID/OSDD

Franz Kafka — Letters to Felice (1912-1917)

Beneath a Cherry Sky

If you’ve never stood under a cherry blossom tree in full bloom, you owe it to your soul to live somewhere that lets you.

˚₊‧ ⊰ ⸸ ⊱ ‧₊˚

Day 1 of recreating my old DID/OSDD memes

Hello hormonally intersex people, I'm here to kill the imposter syndrome demon in your head. Hypoandrogenism and hyperandrogenism are both enough to make a person intersex. And perisex children don't get put on hormones to correct their sex trait development. That only happens to intersex children.

You need to know that a doctor will almost never call you intersex, even if you straight-up have ambiguous genitalia, ovotestes, tits, and a penis, the doctor will tell you that you have a disorder, a syndrome, a deficiency, an excess, an abnormality. Never that you're intersex. You'll be told you're something wrong not that you are something else. The perisex medical establishment wants to separate us and deny we exist. Don't forget that, ok?

the problem with being an intersex nonbinary person is that you have experienced both uniquely transmasc and transfem things, but because you are neither you can join neither conversation without being told “you’re afab you can’t have experienced this!” or “you’ve not medically transitioned so this can’t happen to you!”

intersex trans people exist. intersex nonbinary people exist. regardless of what our “agab” is, or whether we’ve taken hormones or not, we have experiences that need to be included in your conversations. by gatekeeping these conversations you’re leaving vital voices out of the narrative.

visibly disabled people will present others with the most basic and easy to understand request like “please don’t talk to me like I am a small child” and in response people will just start monologuing about how difficult and confusing this is for them and how they’re doing their best and how they need patience and understanding too and it’s so fucking tiring lol

Dude has a death wish

fat character who becomes a vampire and loses a ton of weight and blood can not sate their hunger but they can't eat anything they used to like anymore. everyone views it as a positive healthy positive development but they're starving and dying slowly but never truly dying, a living corpse. this is a metaphor for something

Magical girl transformation where I look exactly the same by the end except my posture and speech are different and I have to be reminded of several details on the conversation we just had

Is it a headmate? Is it a fragment? Is it a facet? Is it a persona? Am I subconsciously masking? Am I subconsciously/involuntarily otherlinking/copinglinking? Is it a kinshift? Is it a ’flicker? Is it age regression? Is it a mood? Is it impulsivity? Is it an intrusive thought that I’m reacting to? Is it genderfluidity? Is it pronoun/namefluidity?

Who knows! Who cares! I don’t need to stress about this, it doesn’t matter! It’s a mode that the “I” is in, the way I feel in that moment! And I will make a pluralkit/tupperbox for it so I can express myself and decide the rest later! Or never! These labels are a construct! Personhood itself is a construct! I don’t need to box myselves! I can just live!

"Dissociation" as a term is kind of in a weird position compared to a lot of other medical terms that slowly enter public knowledge, because people expect it to be misused like OCD and delusions and so on; they assume people are using it for situations where it doesn't apply, that they are "watering down" an important concept. But the thing with dissociation is no, all these people who are using the term "dissociation" lightly are also using it correctly.

Zoning out is a form of dissociation. Daydreaming is a form of dissociation. Dissociation covers a lot of different things, from complex disorders to everyday behavior. People aren't "misusing a serious term" when they describe these experiences as dissociation, and they aren't hurting anyone who experiences more severe forms of dissociation by doing so. I'm not offended when people without DID describe their daydreams as dissociation, I'm happy that they can recognize there are healthy and everyday forms of dissociation, and so when they encounter dissociation in the context of trauma or a disorder, it hopefully won't be as scary to them.

This is a "yes and" situation, not a "no but" situation. Yes, zoning out is a form of dissociation! And this is how I experience "zoning out" as someone with a dissociative disorder! I'm glad you now have a better understanding of medical terminology and will hopefully be able to better understand any medical texts you come across in the future

If you're looking for people misusing "dissociation", I assure you there are still plenty of people who associate any mention of it with senseless violence. How about we tackle that first before deciding the word for a spectrum can only be used to describe the most extreme forms of it

Idk maybe that's why

Dr Ignoreitandhopeitgoesaway does make some good points

My brain works like this

via