when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl you used to be who desperately wanted to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever
splitting is not inherently bad
having a higher alter count than u used to is not bad
dormancy is not inherently bad
having a lower alter count than u ued to is not bad
no matter how ur system is functioning... IT IS NOT BAD
being a system is not an inherently bad or evil thing it is out of ur control and so im TELLING u.. u r not a bad person for having DID/OSDD
You're passing through Wonka's factory and through a doorway you see what is distinctly the body of Christ being fed into a big wacky machine
Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.
„but you survived“ but i didn’t want to lol. i wasn’t supposed to. i hate that i did. i’m angry that i did. i want the pain to go away so badly.
"ohh 00s diet culture isn't back because of ozempic, you're overreacting"
idk i keep seeing previously size-inclusive brands remove plus-sized versions of their clothes from their catalogues entirely, even lines specifically aimed at bigger sizes are cutting their size range down and chopping the bigger ones. i keep seeing mean skinny tiktokers get famous because they said something rude about fat people. when i ask my doctor about weight loss (which my country's gender treatment clinic requires before i can access even preliminary talks about hrt), i'm immediately offered drugs about it - drugs which, according to the doctor, we don't know the long-term effects of. but surely! surely it can't be worse than being fat!
like why are people acting surprised? we've made being extremely wealthy the aspirational aesthetic to strive for, made 'being skinny and having a lot of time and money to stay beautiful' a not only viable but lucrative carreer for people, and then released a drug that is wildly expensive and will make people thin.
of course people are gonna make being thin the ultimate status symbol again - it more than ever before signals wealth and leisure-time.
like, do you think it's a coincidence that people are back to constantly spouting 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' again? and pretending being fat is a matter of lacking self-control around cake or whatever? as if people haven't spent decades trying to get these fucks to understand that actually healthy produce and the time to maintain your body are extreme luxuries in our society?
anyway my broke fat ass can't find pants i like and can afford because the size-inclusive lines i'd have shopped at previously have axed anything over a size xl
and like. i'm not even that fat. what the fuck do people bigger than me do. it's really heinous right now for fat peeps.
in the meantime: study, journal, read more books, sit in silence, listen to music, take walks, take the stairs, do more things alone, do more things with friends, take notice of the small wonders of the world, create a sacred space in your mind
Syn • They/Them • Adult • ♓ sun, ♐ moon, ♎ rising. Year of the Earth Snake. INFJ. Mostly reblogs and screaming. Check out my side blog here for DC content and x Reader fanfiction.
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