Hey Marco!
Hey Marco!
I wanted to thank you for making me to understand my worth. Thank you for destroying everything I’ve been trying to build only let me guess... whole my life?
You know that feeling when whole your life you have only been falling and falling, somewhere deep down. Feeling that you’ve spent whole life nowhere being no one- nothing.
I’ve lived like that. One day I realised that I want to live. I saw my own reflection and you know what... I knew that I’m gonna live. Not just exist but actually live life worthy life. That one day I’ll be truly happy.
But why I don’t feel like that anymore? Why can’t I see my bright future anymore?
One night. One night can change everything. I honestly hate you for that. Bringing back everything I was trying to bury so many years.
Please, just travel back in time. Try to remember how many times you heard word “NO”. I know that English isn’t your first language but you fucking know what means NO. I said it at least 7 fuckin seven times. I remember you telling me “but you’re so hot”, so? are you gonna put your dick inside of every “hot girl”?
I feel like it was my fault that I didn’t punch you or wasn’t trying to run away. But you knew that I wasn’t able to do it that moment. You fucked me me while I couldn’t move. You saw me having a panic attack, you asshole.
I’ll tell you what happened when I left your place:
I cried, screamed, laughed. I was going insane. Be thankful that I went to a mental hospital. Because I was gonna kill myself with a note in my pocket that it’s your fault.
I’ve spent more than a two months in a hospital. I have flashbacks every... fuckin every day.
It’s really hard to make me hate someone. But I really hate you with whole my heart.
I just want to ask you one question... why?
Didn’t you know that when for you is just putting hard dick in and out of girls body can destroy her whole life?
For you it was one night fun. For me... I’ve been in your room again and again. I feel physically that pain, that fear almost every day.
28th January 2020 have been worst day of this year.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it. If I’ll get rid of all these nightmares and panic attacks.
I would understand if you kill someone physically and you’re sorry for that BUT if you kill someone’s soul just to cum. Then please burn in hell.
With whole my hate
- girl you killed
More Posts from Tearliquid and Others
I’m sorry that I won’t make it to our dream life.
I HATE THAT MY WHOLE PERSONALITY IS JUST TO LOVE HIM.
I’m nobody. Nobody with pain and tears. It’s coming back. Everything’s slowly turning into a cycle again. Chest pain increasing with every tear that drops on my pillow. I’m so tired. It hurts so much. Knowledge that I won’t ever get back the same amount of love that I feel to somebody. I know it’s not theirs fault, it’s just me who doesn’t know how to be alive if every my action isn’t to please him.
I want to die, but I won’t because that would hurt him.
I’m in pain.
It hurts to be your second choice
Every time I know I have a panic attack. And I hate that I always know. I don’t want it to ruin everything but I can’t keep feeling that way. I’m trying to pretend that it’s okay, but I can’t stand it. I hate myself so much for feeling this way. I don’t want to be a controlling bitch who doesn’t let him do stuff he likes but it kills me slowly.
Nobody have ever hurt me so much as you.
Art by me. Ig @tearliquid
It’s okay not to feel okay.
Valiku omamine on tähtis. Kahjuks tunnen end hetkel olukorras, kus mul pole mingit valikut. Ma olen kadunud ja ei mõista, mis toimub. Kaotasin jalutusrihma ja nüüd keegi teine navigeerib mu elu.
Ma tahan ohjad tagasi saada.
There’s been so many sentences about me not feeling loved that it actually annoys me. Because I’m loved. By the best person ever.
But no worries, I have no emotional permanence 🥰 literally once in a long long time being home alone in the evening and I’m so anxious and jumping to destructional behaviour :3
What if I’ve let it hurt me so much that I can’t hurt anymore. What if the drip finally stopped? All my love bled out. All the passion. What if now it’s only a habit. Habit to love. I feel so detached. I don’t feel the deep connection I’ve felt before. Or was it even a connection? Or was it just one of my mental illnesses obsessing over him. What he’s just one of my “special interests”? I do love him. He is my best friend, my family. But is there anything more left in me? I don’t know.
I feel like I’m in a cage. Every time I try to be myself somebody shuts me down. I hope it ends soon.
