That's Not What "rearrange His Guts" Means Jayce

Hey what's up

It's been just a few days and i finished the 3d chapter of my zemobucky fic

That one is a fluff/smut + sitcom cringe

Hope you'll like it

Snowball attack ❄️⚪❄️⚪❄️⚪❄️⚪

( The reference )

this year me decided that my birthday present to myself will be the struggle: writing zosan smut with taz's tongue piercing

i am unwell

KATHY LAM 黑山

there's no need to subscribe, i'm a very slow writer (literally the tortoise speed)

not even sure there's gonna be some more miggy×reader stuff coming from me any time soon, i ain't got much to tell now, guys and ghouls

that miguel bot on character ai will be the death of me

so i'm just picturing a rather heated argument between buggy and shanks where buggy's yelling nonstop, just ready to explode any second now, then in all high-pitched screeching he just loses it and shouts "DO I LOOK LIKE A CLOWN TO YOU?!" and there's this dead silence for a moment before shanks just goes like "well, duh??" like- in shanks' mind he's just "you're buggy the clown, where's the question in that, again??"

for either way you choose you cannot win

someone said "faking an orgasm with miguel is impossible"

so i said "nothing is impossible, baby gorilla" and wrote THIS

enjoy..?

+18; Miguel O'Hara × spider-girl!reader; memes, crack and a bit of smut; one phrase in Spanish; no uses of y/n

Your made up moan forces a low growl out of him. Right into your folds. Not like it was unpleasant or anything, but you were too distracted to notice it.

Now, why were you on your phone when Miguel O'Hara was eating you out like a gentleman?

Oh, that's because you agreed to meet up with your spider gang to watch a movie and you were already late, texting them "sorrys" and "brbacks".

Because Miguel is a feral beast and he pinned you to the wall when you were ready to head out, but you didn't mention that part.

A short "no" didn't cut it. A "i promised them" didn't work either. And since you're just unable to dismiss this man, you agreed because now he promised you to be quick.

Another lie you were facing currently, because it's been more than fifteen minutes during which you couldn't focus on his tongue circling your clit at all, because you were anxious.

Well, what can you say? The movie promised to be good, you kinda genuinely wanted to see it with your new friends.

But today promises seemed to be nothing but a lie well told.

"Oh, i'm cumming..." Jesus fucking Christ, that was so unrealistic you mentally smacked yourself in the face. Did Miguel also notice, or you just imagined that low rumble under the sheets? "Oh, wow, so good..."

How much more cringy can it get? You'd burst into laughter if you weren't texting into the groupchat right now.

Truth be told, it felt good. But Miguel always took his time with you, enjoying every whimper and moan rolling off your tongue, like it were angels singing. It was kinky, but not today. Today time is money, and in that case literally.

You let out another fake moan and slightly twitched your hips for a more plausible effect. Make 'em believe it feels good and they feel like champions afterwards. A motto that right now was useful.

Or wasn't it..?

Miguel's head poked out from under the sheets. A scowl on his face present.

"And what even was that?"

He snarled, showing off his fangs. A sight that usually made your heart rate speed up. Now? Only made you hum in thought.

"An orgasm?"

The silence was tangible as fuck now. O'Hara didn't even flinch when another fake smile appeared on your face.

Yeah, he called dibs on bullshit even before you opened your mouth, that's for sure.

"Miggy, i told you, i'm late!" You protested, lightly shaking your phone with an open groupchat. "Very sweet of you to show me this courtesy, but the guys are waiting for me in the theater!"

"You'll have to call it off." His hot breath on your skin makes you slightly shiver. "I'm not letting you go until i hear you pleading my name for more."

"In that case i'm not going anywhere at all!" You still pout, despite how sweet it feels when he presses a soft kiss to your inner thigh.

"That's why you'll call it off." Miguel hoarsely snickers in between your legs.

An eye roll from you doesn't change his mind at all.

"Miggy..." You start with a sly smile before flipping him off. "Vete a la mierda."

"I regret teaching you this." He sighs, pressing his cheek to your inner thigh.

"And i regret agreeing to this." You point with your free hand at O'Hara between your legs, which only makes him smirk.

And that's not his typical smug smirk at all. It's kind of predatory. Hot and dangerous? Yeah, that was it.

"You'll change your mind in just about now..." He hoarsely whispers before sinking his sharp canines into your sensitive flesh.

You loudly gasp, one hand already finding its way into his hair to tug on it desperately. As if that could ever make him stop.

Never in your whole relationship this worked, not even once. After a night well spent, you were always covered in those love bites, not just thigh wise.

And Miguel knew exactly what it did to you, how you can barely hold yourself just now, biting on your bottom lip so hard it draws blood. All that just to prevent a loud moan from escaping your mouth. And he seemed really intended to hear it, his two fingers slipping into you with ease as his thumb circled your now throbbing clit.

Jesus fucking Christ...

You mentally smacked yourself once again as your back arched in pleasure, a chocked moan finally finding its way out of you.

"Now that's much better, cariño." Miguel cooed before pressing another kiss to the love bite.

Were you fucked? Well, yeah, both literally and metaphorically.

Does it feel good? Absolutely, one hundred percent, big fat cock "yes".

However, there was a problem.

An open groupchat.

...

pavitr_loves_you:

guys, i'll go get popcorn! any requests?

gweaanda:

extra butter, please

kilometer_moralfull:

ooh!

i wanna try the blueberry one!

pavitr_loves_you:

got it 😉

capitalism_sucks:

pav wait up

i'll go with you

kilometer_moralfull:

anyone seen arachne?

capitalism_sucks:

nope

but i bet she got stuck in webs again

pavitr_loves_you:

🤔

gweaanda:

where is she at?

the movie starts soon

:arachnophobe is recording a voice message:

gweaanda:

finally!

what takes you so long?!

arachnophobe:

▶️---------0:02

kilometer_moralfull:

OMG

gweaanda:

...

sounds like someone is having fun already

capitalism_sucks:

it could be a metaphor

pavitr_loves_you:

what's in it? i can't listen yet, i'm paying up 😩

kilometer_moralfull:

PAVI DON'T !!!

HOBIE GET HIS PHONE RIGHT NOW

pavitr_loves_you:

already on it 👹

damn he got so many emojis

gweaanda:

yeah, anyways...

something tells me she's not coming

capitalism_sucks:

nah it sounds like she is

kilometer_moralfull:

PLEASE STOP ???

...

sorry not sorry..? ;)

Listen I feel like the question if he ever sucked his own dick while detaching his head has the same answer as “Do people pee in the shower?” It’s yes. It’s obviously yes. But obviously yes in the sense that you don’t mention it, ever, unless you’re with him and try to actually get into those pants as well or you are both extremly drunk. If you do the latter he’ll bark out a laugh and says “Well what do you think?” Before he’ll open his arms in a theatrical manner and gestures to himself “Best head you’ll ever get on the grand line. I’d know! I have high standards.” Making you double over with laughter and spill half of your drink.

(Regret is gonna set in the next morning “God I have a head like an anchor….fuck….fuck god please god tell me I left it at giving head and not the other places you can stick it”)

Genuinely made me wheeze, because i completely forgot i posted that 😭😭😭