Genderbent Skulduggery Pleasant That Nobody Asked For,

Primo headcanons that aren’t ‘old man doing old man things’

(I love those, but we as a fandom - bandom, I might say - need to remember how batshit he was)

- starting off simple, Primo unironically loves the Beatles (it started out as a way to piss off Nihil in the sixties, but now it’s a genuine appreciation)

- refuses to use electricity most of the time, would rather smack into walls by candlelight than embrace the clinical and frankly ugly modern lighting.

- hates humanity, especially after basically raising Secondo and Terzo while Nihil did whatever he wanted. He loves his brothers, who are a bit of a soft spot for him

- adding to this, I believe that canon cryptid Primo and loving older brother Primo can both exist - He was the best older brother, careful and loving, often acting in a manner perhaps a bit more subdued than normal. Primo embraced his more caring traits when with his brothers, ensuring their happiness as best he could regardless of his reputation. He tried to be, what he considered to be, a better version of himself for them.

- as such, when he went on tour and said all those crazy things in interviews, his brothers had to do a double take.

- this isn’t to say that, when not with his brothers, he wasn’t doing weird and creepy things. Primo often enjoyed being off putting, and occasionally does strange things to keep people on their toes.

- once they were all grown up, Primo allowed some of his more bizarre thoughts to be said out loud. Every so often, Secondo will burst into laughter at something he has said, especially at the conversational tone

- often says things and people can’t tell whether he’s joking or not. Occasionally he’ll say something outlandish, which mustn’t be true, surely, only to be proven right at a later date, so Terzo takes him at his word on principle, no matter how stupid the claim may be.

- He once claimed to be Jack the Ripper, and some children of the clergy managed to get word of it and believed him.

- makes terrible jokes, and enjoys wordplay that makes his brother sigh

- was definitely a goth during the 80s

- in addition to his marigolds and daisies, he probably grows poisonous plants too, such as belladonna and foxglove, along with Venus flytraps. As such, he has to make sure that Copia’s rats stay out of the garden

- refuses to watch Nosferatu (1922), because he feels insulted by the portrayal of the vampire, which he claims was based on him.

- no one really knows how old he is, not even Nihil, who was a teensy bit stoned the year Primo was born

- fairly eldritch, and likes to do the Michael Myers disappearing act, but only when people look away from a distance - never during conversation (unless it’s Seestor, who he allows himself to be rude to)

- has a tendency to lurk; around corners, in the shadows, in the backs of rooms

- pierced his tongue during the 70s

- like to have bitchy conversations with Chain ghoul, who he gossips with, often about macabre things. Likes to spend gloomy evenings strolling through cemeteries and judging the headstones, often mocking the inscriptions.

- on the subject of ghouls, has grown fonder of them over time, ceasing his previous disturbing behaviour, although despises Phil, who keeps popping up where he’s not wanted. They definitely help out in the garden

- there are rumours that bodies are buried in his garden beds, and that’s why his flowers are so huge. He never confirms nor denies these accusations, only commenting that he has a good fertiliser.

- after his run of Papa, he relaxed a little. He spends most of his time doing whatever he wants, mostly on a whim.

- every so often he’ll disappear, sometimes for days at a time, only to reappear later, hair full of twigs and knotted something awful, with new light in his eyes.

- nobody knows where he goes, and it’s anybody’s guess. Secondo has bet money that he’s visiting a lover, whereas Terzo thinks he likes to hang out away from people and live in the trees for a bit. Copia thinks that he has his ghouls bury him alive for some much needed rest from the world. They have no idea if they’re right or not, because Primo refuses to tell them.

- Copia once walked into the kitchen of the Ministry in the middle of the night to find Primo, after being gone for a week, sitting calmly by an open window with a chalice in his hand, jumping at the sight and almost dropping his rats,

“Holy fuck, where the shit have you been?”

“I have no idea what you speak of. I never left.”

- refuses to go out on sunny days without an umbrella. Would rather takes his walks at night and bathe in the moonlight.

- despite his paternal instincts, he cannot bake for shit, his biscuits always ending up burnt to a crisp, no matter what he tries. Eventually he gives up, and Secondo does the baking from now on

- probably sleeps in a coffin, just for laughs

- always wins at Uno, but cannot play cards to save his life. Purposely avoided playing any type of card game with his brothers because they can beat him without fail, even without knowing the rules

- claims to only watch silent films, but has a secret love of torture slasher films, as they allow him to revel in the cruelty of the human race, stoking his hatred of humanity.

- fucking adores Elizabeth Bathory, and will defend her to his dying day. Gets into arguments online about whether she was innocent or not.

- spent a week in an opium den, for no reason other than he could.

- always knew that Nihil would choose Seestor over them, and likes to haunt them both before they die.

- likes to give pep talks to the other papas before touring, especially Copia and Perpetua although his advice can vary in its usefulness, and is often oddly specific and irrelevant.

- he, Secondo and Terzo hang around the Ministry more often now that Copia is Frater, doing their best to make sure he isn’t lonely or sad.

- refuses to buy into the capitalistic machine, and makes all his own clothes, with the exception of the crimson sweaters that Secondo knitted for him.

- likes to take a lawn chair to busy intersections to watch the carnage

I agree. I love Hordak, but can accept that he did terrible things and should help rebuild what he destroyed - eg. assist with Beast Island like in canon.

What I cannot stand is when people let Catra get off scott-free because of her trauma, only to damn Hordak for the same reasons! If Hordak goes free, then of course so does Catra - that’s fair. But if Catra is immediately accepted into the rebellion with only a couple of glares, but Hordak supposedly deserves to burn in Etherian Hell, you have a case of favouritism.

I don’t even hate Catra! I can enjoy her quips and believe her to be fun. But I do draw the line at calling her a ‘girlboss’ when she exploits his disabilities while she manipulates him. While this is typical villain behaviour, no one seems to be able to critique her actions while liking her - she’s a traumatised child (unless she’s being hot, in which case she’s most certainly an adult), incapable of intentionally causing harm, no matter how gleefully she does it.

The fact that the writers take Hordak’s trauma and give it to Catra to illustrate its horrific consequences - which Catra fans will use to enable her - while condemning Hordak, is so very frustrating.

It is a bizarre way to view the show, considering how similar the two characters are.

Starting from now on, everytime someone says they can’t forgive Hordak and his background is no excuse, I will be like

“Oh so you think Catra has to suffer for her crimes too, right?”

Or even “Oh so you must want Catra to apologize for the things she said while chipped, right?”

Because I still can’t believe there are people in the fandom who completely excuse Catra’s actions but the moment Hordak does the same thing he has to suffer and doesn’t deserve redemption.

I wasn’t going to reblog, but it was too cute to ignore. I love this film, and Frollo’s stupid hat.

but listen closely…

Henry Rollo as Riff Raff, Australian Tour, 2023

god but they look so related rn

GHOST: RITE HERE RITE NOW (2024).

I had to figure out comparative Raimi-verse and Webb-verse character strength for a fic once and found out that this scene:

has absolutely bonkers implications (and is also physically impossible).

For reference, the thing that's attached to the other end of that cable he's holding is a pre-2010 Roosevelt Tramway car. It weighs 18,300 pounds, or 9.16 tons, when empty, and it is currently loaded (though I'll be ignoring the weight of the passengers in this post for the sake of easier math). That is an absolutely insane amount of weight to hold one-handed, and he's not bracing or shifting his weight to counter it at all.

This means that Norman is much, much stronger than the 800% increase in strength promised by the performance enhancers. I don't know exactly how the ratios translate, but if Norman can hold 9 tons without effort in one hand, he can probably bench press two or three times that. Eight times the current unequipped bench press record is 6,256 pounds, or 3.12 tons, roughly a third of the weight he is currently supporting. And Peter is capable of beating Norman hand-to-hand, which requires a rough parity in strength. Therefore, Peter is also absolutely insanely strong. They're both closer to Thor's weight class than to Captain America's.

So much for the overanalysis of what this single shot means for Norman and Peter's abilities. Here's where we get to what makes the scene impossible: weight ratios. Norman is not sticky, like Peter. He does not have foot clamps on the bridge like he does on his glider. There is no physical way that a 180-190 pound dude, however inhumanly strong, can hold that much weight without skidding right off of the bridge into freefall. By all rights, this should not be a shot of the Green Goblin standing menacingly over Peter Parker, it should be a shot of a green blur getting yanked off the side of the Queensboro Bridge by the force generated by 9.15 tons of falling metal, and that absolutely cracks me up laughing.

There’s no way he’s not her father. I love the little, quiet moments. I read a fic once where she forced him to tie up his hair because it was messy, which was adorable. A very strict, no nonsense six year old Frannie is a very cute image. And, of course, Cedric would have to humour her.

If they could have father daughter moment

#alexa... play good luck babe by chappell roan

Ah fuck. It’s satani-z-ed, not satani-s-ed. Damn Australian English autocorrect. I knew it was with a z too, and I still posted it. Ah well.

GHOST FANDOM HOW THE FUCK ARE WE FEELING TONIGHT????!