Can I Just Say That Neil, Having Been On The Run, Would Be So Good At Hiding From The Paparazzi.

ok because AP tests are upon us and this is my only way of releasing all my stress, here's a short list of andreil study time hcs for your viewing pleasure

our boy andrew doesn't really have to study

neil on the other hand... actually needs to work to keep up his GPA

he's never really cared enough to study but now he has the foxes and exy and a future to lose so he might as well put in the effort to keep them

neil needs caffeine like he needs oxygen. the man cannot focus for shit without it

he'll down like three mugs of black coffee in the morning and be set for the day

andrew hates it but doesn't complain much as long as neil makes him some actually decent coffee too

(once, neil accidentally gave him the wrong mug and andrew didn't talk to him for the rest of the day)

when andrew does study or does homework, he hates studying in the library

he told nicky that it was because he's "allergic to books"

really, he just knows he'd get distracted and start reading william faulkner or jane austen instead of his textbooks

neil, however, loves the library

he can't study at all in the dorms; he needs to keep moving to new environments so he doesn't get bored by his surroundings

so neil and andrew don't study together half the time

which works out well considering the few times that they do, they tend to get more than a little... distracted

but if the library is closed or neil just doesn't have the energy to leave the dorm, he bullies andrew into helping him study instead of playing video games or reading

(neil gets a kiss for every question he gets right. andrew gets to look at a pretty guy for a few hours. it's a win-win situation)

mr. Neil draws-fox-paws-instead-of-doing-his-work Josten struggles with focusing on literally anything but exy and andrew

so he always ropes in one of the foxes as a "study-buddy" to hold him accountable while he's working

andrew and neil both like having noise-cancelling headphones on while they work, but this also means that people hold full-on conversations with them without realizing that they can't be heard

(also, because they're assholes, even when they can hear the other person, they just... don't respond.)

andrew is a pastel highlights guy. also he's weirdly possessive about his pens

neil just grabs the first mechanical pencil he sees (99% of the stationary he has isn't even his, he just found them laying around campus)

neil is also super disorganized. loose papers everywhere, he can never find anything. no matter how clean a place starts, it turns into a mess within 5 minutes of neil studying there

he also has food wrappers and crumbs everywhere because he constantly snacks while studying

andrew is surprisingly clean - he organizes everything by class and then color-codes everything (granted his memory helps so he doesn't have too many notes in the first place)

anyways, they both have their own methods of studying and it works for them

(aka andrew just vibes and neil frantically finishes all his work 3 hours before it's due)

ok yeah that's all i got right now, my brain is fried and i actually have to study now, pray for me 😔

i feel like neil is the type to make the most horrendous food combinations known to humanity that actually turn out to be good? like he's used to living off of scraps so he'll find leftovers or random snacks around the dorm and make absolutly monstrous mixtures

andrew and kevin refuse to touch them at first but matt's always there for his buddy, so he'll try it, cry to dan about how good it is, she'll eat it, and then eventually everyone jumps on the bandwagon. one day neil wakes up in the middle of the night and finds andrew and kevin sitting on the kitchen counter scarfing down his newest concoction with way too much gusto for people who claimed they'd never touch his shit food (but they'll deny it if you ask)

Sometimes I literally just come on here to scroll and be an emotional gushy mess. Comfort aftg page <3

the way this is the sweetest thing ever 😭 y'all really be out here making me cry at 1 am

I always wondered how the foxes would react to finding out that it was andrew that "hit on" neil first (specially Kevin, since he was just standing right there while that happened)

(now, i don't think they would willing just talk about it but if one of them slip up...)

Btw: i absolutely adored the goodbye kisses series

AHHH sorry for being so MIA lately but i'm absolutely loving this! also i'm realizing that i'm very bad at actually getting to the point so enjoy a shit ton of irrelevant exposition :)

read it on ao3 here

— ··· —

Kevin didn't understand why they had to come to the zoo. It was smelly, there were kids screaming everywhere, and he'd nearly been stepped on three times in the past 10 minutes. He much rather preferred exy to this.

Team bonding sucked.

He trudged along beside Aaron as Dan, Matt, and Nicky actually tried socializing with the new Foxes. Normally, Kevin would jump at the chance to talk about exy with these recruits, but also, normally he didn't feel like he'd just just rolled through a flaming dumpster filled with screeching, pooping monkeys.

Kevin let out a sigh as they passed some sort of mildly interesting snake exhibit. He nudged Aaron, who was on his phone with a red face, which meant he was either texting lovey-dovey things to Katelyn or blasting an idiot in his Ochem class. You never really knew with him.

"Aaron."

Aaron just scowled at him. Kevin sighed again. Conversing was always so much more exhausting than he anticipated.

"Snakes."

"What."

"Do you want to... see the snakes?"

Aaron blinked in confusion. "Okay?"

Kevin led them to the snakes.

There, they shoved past some families and made it to the front of the glass enclosure.

"Well?" Aaron asked. "Now what do we do?"

Valid question, Kevin thought. He hadn't really considered what they were doing. He just wanted to see snakes.

He told Aaron as much, who rolled his eyes aggressively and went back to his phone.

Kevin felt a tap on his shoulder and twisted around, coming face-to-face (well, more like chest-to-face) with some sort of tour or information guide.

"Hi!" she smiled all too brightly. Kevin wanted to cover his eyes. "How are you enjoying the exhibition?"

"Um," Kevin gulped eloquently, then remembered his media training. "Oh yeah, it's great!"

"Awesome," she beamed. "You know, there's a snake feeding session in about 5 minutes if you and your son are interested."

Kevin's face contorted in confusion. He whirled around, assuming some tiny, lost child was latched near him, but when he turned back, the lady — Sandy — had her gaze intensely focused on the only other small person near him: Aaron.

Oh dear.

Aaron seemed to come to the same conclusion as Kevin did because his eyes widened comically and he hissed "I. am. not. his. son."

Sandy blinked owlishly. "Little brother then?"

Aaron threw his hands up. "I am 21! Leave me alone." He then proceeded to stomp out of the enclosure, dragging Kevin along and leaving a very flummoxed old lady behind them.

"I can't believe it," Aaron kept muttering. "Your son. Your son! I hate life."

Kevin was a bit miffed that he hadn't actually been able to see the snakes, but he figured Aaron's plight was slightly more significant than that.

After a few moments of silent walking (Kevin) and angry grumbing (Aaron), Kevin realized he couldn't see any of the Foxes anymore. He glanced around, instinctively searching for Andrew.

"Hey, do you know where Andrew and Neil went?" Kevin asked.

Aaron scoffed. "They're probably making out somewhere."

"Who's making out?"

Aaron and Kevin both gave unholy screeches as they turned around to find Nicky standing between them, a wide, innocent grin on his face.

"What the fuck," Aaron complained. "Don't do that again, you bitch."

Nicky waved him off. "Shut up. Who's making out? Might be able to close some bets."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "We just can't find Andrew and Neil anywhere. Aaron seems to believe they're off deflowering a zoo Port-A-Potty or something."

"Well then, we wouldn't want to interrupt them, right?" Nicky winked. "Anyways, we're all going to the butterfly exhibit right now so y'all have to join us. I'm not taking no for an answer."

It seemed that they had no choice, so after sharing a resigned glance, Kevin and Aaron trudged behind an overly enthusiastic Nicky while he babbled on about some parrots that he saw. It really didn't seem as interesting as Nicky was making it out to be, but Kevin didn't want to say anything lest he was expected to participate in the conversation too.

They finally reached the butterfly exhibit where the other Foxes were waiting for them. They entered as a mass of loud, mildy buff, smelly athletes and got more than a few glares from the parents of young children who moved out of the way.

But in all this movement, the path cleared and Kevin found... Andrew and Neil? He was about to turn to Aaron and tell him that they evidently not making out, until he noticed how still Andrew was standing and the glee on Neil's face.

Nicky's gaze caught onto them a second later, because he squealed and grabbed Kevin's arm, jabbing his finger at the sight.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Is that a butterfly on Andrew's nose? That is adorable."

Kevin squinted, and yes, that's exactly what it appeared to be. Nicky's outburst had caught Allison's attention, and she began marching over to Neil and Andrew, the rest of the Foxes in tow.

Kevin could already tell this was going to be a mess.

When they finally reached Andrew, Aaron was the first to speak. "What the fuck?" he asked flatly. Andrew glared at him. Slowly, as to not move the butterfly, he raised his hand to gently flip off his brother.

Nicky immediately started cooing. "Aww, don't worry Andrew! I think you look adorable."

Andrew began slipping out a knife.

On Allison's left, Kevin saw Dan practically shaking with laughter as she pulled out her camera and snapped a picture.

Neil opened his mouth, probably to tell off Dan but Nicky rushed in to talk to him.

"Soooo," he waggled his eyebrows. "I didn't know you could see the future, Neil."

Neil stared at him blankly and turned back to Andrew as he pulled out a map, but Nicky rallied on.

"Like, you must have been able to predict that one day Andrew was going to be this adorable. That's why you asked him out, right?"

"What?" Neil asked distractedly. "I never asked him out."

Kevin blinked in surprise. After a moment's consideration, he realized that considering how utterly oblivious Neil could be, it really was no shocker that Andrew had to ask him out first.

"Wait wait wait," Matt shook his head. "So Andrew asked you out?"

Neil waved them off as he continued squinting at the map he was holding. "Yes yes, just go ask Kevin, he was there."

All eyes turned to Kevin. Kevin was very lost.

"What the fuck," Aaron repeated. "I'm so confused."

"Me too," Kevin muttered. "Me too."

— ··· —

After their long day at the zoo was over, the Foxes finally began the trudge back up to their respective dorms. The younger Foxes dozed off immediately, but the older Foxes gathered in the girls' room to drop off the bags they had borrowed for the trip.

In all the commotion, no one really noticed Andrew and Neil leaving together. But right before they slipped out the door, Renee caught sight of them.

"Good night, you two!" she called. Neil turned around and gave her a tired wave, his body slumped on Andrew.

"Wait!" Nicky scrambled off the sofa. "Before I forget: Neil, how did Andrew ask you out?"

Neil blinked sleepily. "Well," he slurred. "He asked if he could blow me."

The room went silent.

Andrew heaved a sigh and dragged Neil out the door, leaving seven wide-eyed, very much awake athletes in their wake. Slowly, everyone turned to Kevin.

"You!" Allison weakly jabbed a finger in his direction. "You knew about this!"

Too late, Kevin realized what Neil's statement meant. Andrew had asked out Neil in front of Kevin. By offering sex. Nothing could have possibly ruined Kevin's night as much as this information had.

He met the Foxes' eyes slowly. Even Renee looked a bit surprised at Neil's admission, but she was clearly biting back a smile. "Trust me," Kevin groaned. "If I had known this had happened, I would have won myself so many bets."

"Damn," Nicky sighed. "I wish Erik and I had such an iconic story. Who knew the quiet, stabby cousin was such a horny gay bastard?"

"I," Aaron announced hotly. "have never wanted to forget a conversation more than this one."

"But Aaron. Andrew asked to blow him."

"Nicky, I swear— "

"OH MY GOD. They're probably having sex right now! Kevin, could you— "

Aaron put his head in his hands. "Please shut up now."

05 kissing

I drew this drawing for https://the-chicken-or-the-banana.tumblr.com/post/650598082547990528/andreil-and-goodbye-kisses

You have to read these sweet stories

OK UPDATE (for the mental state of me and @soulsupply): apparently there are 38! states in the US with no safeways, and south carolina has exactly 1. ONE SAFEWAY. which is permanently closed with a 1 star review and disowned by safeway. so. we are going to pretend that it doesn't exist for the sake of this hc

an incomplete list of northern-californian andrew minyard shenanigans

he gets pissed if anyone asks him if he can surf

the beaches are cold and rocky and gross, no one wants to learn surfing up here

he's totally used to weird weather (a 90° day can have a 50° night) but he absolutely cannot stand extreme temperatures

anything above 100° is reason to riot, and anything below a 40-50° is a good excuse to stay under blankets the whole day

hot days are more common in the bay area than hail, and there's never any snow, so moving to south carolina was a slap in the face

"nicky, do i need more warm clothes or more summer clothes?"

"both, andrew. both."

"why do you not have normal weather systems? just pick one"

andrew literally always carries a jacket with him out of habit

in the south, weather can fluctuate every few days, whereas in california, the weather literally changes every hour and there's almost always a breeze in the bay area

it takes him a long time to realize that hot days in the south just... stay hot. no need for a jacket.

(he still usually has one on hand though. never hurts to be prepared)

san francisco is so. goddamn. boring.

he might not have been there very often as a foster kid, but living like 20 minutes away from it in oakland makes the city really lose its novelty

(also the sfo and oakland rivalry can get very passionate at times. he was just always destined to dislike san francisco)

unironically uses the word "hella." he didn't realize it was a californian thing until it accidentally slipped out in front of the foxes and he got some very confused (and gleeful) stares

andrew calls the two main parts of california "norcal" and "socal" (for northern california and southern california). he cannot for the life of him understand why everyone else is so confused

he has a sort of inherent dislike for socal. he may have literally never been there but... the vibes. he just can't stand them

(andrew refers to socal as "fake california" in his head, as many norcal people do)

honestly, he's a pretty environmental person (aside from the smoking). you really can't live in the bay area without being overly conscious about recycling and sustainability

(he'll constantly bully kevin into separating trash, recyclables, and compostables. kevin never had to do that in the nest but andrew? he's very particular about this.

"kevin. how can you say you're healthy when you're making the planet unhealthy?"

"it's really not that big of a deal—" "it is. shut up and recycle.")

andrew absolutely detests the "sunny, warm, beach" stereotype of california, seeing how inaccurate it is for most of the state

neil likes to joke that jeremy and andrew represent the two extremes of california — sunny and bright vs cold and cloudy

andrew does not find this funny

(okay, maybe a little)

the biggest shock he ever faced was that safeway (a grocery store) wasn't a nationwide chain

apparently it's just a california thing

"aaron, if tilda's not going to buy groceries, we will just go to safeway ourselves"

"andrew. there are no safeways here."

"... what"

"i was shocked too"

(it ends up being the first thing the twins bond over when they officially meet)

for the requests: 24 but like,, the opposite?? do whatever you want but also have this embarrassing story of mine for free because i have LIVED this and it is HORRIBLE!! I don’t know what was going through my mind but it was my friends bday and she went to give me a fist bump but instead of returning it I just grabbed her fist with my hand (scissors beats rock style) and we both stood there in silence for a moment staring at our hands until I turned it into a sort of handshake when I just started to shake where I had her fist gripped in my own hand up and down for a solid 10 seconds

24. "confusing a handshake for a fist bump" - but the opposite lmao

minyard-josten rivalry, y'all know where it's at

so these two dumbasses keep their relationship a secret from everyone, including their managers and PR team

anyways, i imagine that there's some sort of pre-game interview happening, to create some hype for the shitshow that's going to be a minyard v josten game

the problem is... no one knows how to predict their moves

andrew's PR team tells him to be professional — maybe shake neil's hand instead of ignoring it like how he always does

neil's PR team tells him to do something more casual, to reduce the animosity he's such a natural at creating

you can probably see where this is going...

so. andrew, neil, and few people from each of their teams come out in front of the cameras

the teammates + managers on the sides are just staring very intently at andrew and neil

neil sighs and shoves out his hand for a first bump with his boyfriend of very many years

andrew however. look, he hasn't seen neil in weeks and he the cats miss him and give andrew lots of sad meows and really seeing neil is a relief so his children not his children, his CATS, can stop being so upset

basically, he has a bit of a gay panic while looking at neil — the shape of his face, his eyes, his hair (good lord, that needed to be cut three years ago)

and so when neil puts out his hand in greeting, andrew really can't be blamed for being distracted!

he slams his fingers into neil's fist.

they stare at each other for a few moments as the only sound is cameras flashing. slowly, andrew curls his fingers just as neil straightens out his fist bump.

neil's hand now gets stuck in andrew's fist.

andrew blinks at their joined hands, promptly lets go of neil's fingers, and turns around to walk away. his teammates try to grab onto him to bring him back but like honestly most of them are laughing too hard to do anything

so the game continues as usual (with a little bit of teasing towards neil and andrew by their teammates)

and at the end of the game during the handshakes, one of the announcers says "minyard! josten! maybe figure out if it's handshake or fist bump beforehand this time!"

andrew internally flips off the cameras

(it's only not external because he knows aaron's kids are watching the game tonight and he is determined to be the more mature uncle out of him and neil)

so instead of making a fool of himself again, andrew decides to just nod at neil and walk away

no sooner than a second later though, he feels a bonk on his head. neil just bonked him. on the head. in front of millions of people.

he has to salvage his reputation so he puts his hands up in a threatening gesture and says something menacingly, but no one in the audience can hear what he says

all they see is andrew looking scary and neil... doubled over laughing

instantly, there are whispers going around the stadium about what happened, so neil's coach is like 'nah we aren't letting this kid do the pre and post-game interviews' — andrew had accounted for this in his attempt to rebuild his persona

so they try to sneak neil out the back, but what andrew hadn't accounted for was a sneaky reporter who catches sight of neil and asks loudly "what was andrew minyard saying to you on the court?"

neil smirks and draws up to his full height (which frankly, is still tiny enough for andrew to give kisses without too much strain. it was the ideal height gap, if anyone asked him. not that anyone was asking him this)

"well," neil said. "he said rock" — neil makes a fist bump — "paper" — he extends an arm out for a handshake — "and then... " — neil makes a scissor symbol — "snip snip motherfucker. we're cutting your hair when we get home."

"wait, you two live together— "

part 1 of the andreil coming out thing here

ok, so andrew and neil aren't the most openly affectionate

there's no hints to the public that they could possibly be together, considering their little... rivalry

however, with andrew out now, a few people like to believe that andrew and neil could have an "enemies-to-lovers" situation

some people even think that they're already together

nevertheless, this is a very small population in the grand scheme of exy, and most of this is indulging in fantasies anyways — few people really believe in these theories

and as months pass after andrew's coming out, people stop pestering him every 0.2 seconds about who his boyfriend is

andrew and neil think they're finally free of all the annoying paparazzi and slightly overbearing fans

and it's under this false sense of security that shit hits the roof

it's a random september night when it happens, nothing terribly significant

but the whole week, andrew had been craving a closeness with neil, the kind that comes with not seeing your person for weeks

so he booked a flight to where neil was, realizing that had this occurred a few years back, andrew probably wouldn't have even acknowledged that he missed neil, let alone made steps to actually see him again

on a flight.

(he thinks bee would be proud)

anyway, he reached neil's apartment with minimal damage and proceeded to be drowned in kisses

it's a good few days.

and then, on that fateful september night, andrew is hit with the urge to take neil out

(not like murder. more like... a date?)

they don't usually go out on those, but it's not like they've never done so before

so andrew books a dinner reservation at a fancy restaurant, fully intending to take his man out on a nice. fancy. relaxing. drama-free. date.

of course, the universe has other plans

andrew and neil arrive at the restaurant (a little late but neil's lips were a good distraction for a few hours, okay? (they may have left the kitchen in disarray from lunch, but that's irrelevant))

their table is a secluded corner where they're pretty much hidden from view, save for one or two tables, and the seemingly solid privacy relaxes andrew and neil

their dinner goes by relatively uneventfully

(excluding when andrew gave a small smile to one of neil's dumb jokes, who proceeded to dump marinara sauce into his water instead of next to his garlic bread while staring dreamily at andrew, and then nearly choked when he took his next sip from the glass)

(also excluding when neil gave a not-so-innocent suck on his fork and andrew, frustrated over laws about public indecency, stabbed his brussel sprouts aggressively, causing one to fly up and hit and burn his eye)

(also also excluding— )

ok, so maybe it was more of a mess than andrew was ready to admit

but andrew dug into his panna cotta feeling lighter than he had in weeks as neil teased him about his sugar addiction and held his hand under the table

it was as andrew leaned over and kissed some cream off the side of neil's lips that he got the feeling of being watched

he whirled around, hair nearly hitting neil's face, as his gaze landed on a cell phone camera pointed at them

he caught the eye of a very guilty looking man, made even more errant when said man proceeded to leap out of his chair and run out of the restaurant

andrew was half-out of his chair to follow him when neil tugged on his shirt sleeve, an instigative glint in his eye

"neil. do you want to see this on every gossip magazine in the next few hours?"

"well no, but that fuckwad is always going to have those pictures. we, however, can make sure he doesn't get the headline he wants"

"... i'm listening"

about 40 minutes later, back at neil's apartment, neil posts a picture of his extremely messy kitchen on twitter

@neil_josten_official: well fuck me 🥴

@03andrewminyard: if you insist

~ 30 minutes later ~

@neil_josten_official: *image attached: andrew is laying his head in the crook of neil's neck as neil kisses him on the top of his head, andrew's fingers running through neil's hair. they both appear to be shirtless*

@neil_josten_official: BREAKING NEWS: just had sex with my (very hot) boyfriend to get revenge on unfulfilled gossip "journalists." life really couldn't be better :)

@neil_josten_official: ok but really, stop trying to out closeted celebrities (and people in general). it's not cool. it's not trendy. our lives aren't a scandal to report on. you're all just assholes and fuck you

@neil_josten_official: but not literally. a metaphorical fuck, if you will

@exykevinday.official: I'm proud of you for coming out and finally ending your ridiculous rivalry @neil_josten_official and @03andrewminyard, but was there really no other way you could have done so without informing me about your sex life?

@03andrewminyard: haha. no.

needless to say, the internet erupts in shock at neil's tweets

theories emerge left and right about how, when, why andrew and neil got together

the two of them get requests for so many interviews, talk shows, panels, magazines, all of which they turn down

of course, there's the occasional question in a post-game or team interview that's hard to avoid, and for the most part, these rare moments provide the only things the public knows about what they affectionately call "andreil"

but apparently when you're in a very public relationship, there are certain expectations fans have about how much of it you disclose

and while andrew doesn't necessarily want to divulge their private life to millions of people, he also can't help but be reminded of how seeing nicky and erik's comfortable relationship in his late teenage years solidified to him that him liking guys wasn't a bad thing

and it's with that in mind that he posts a picture on his instagram from earlier in june of him and neil curled up on the sofa, a massive rainbow flag draped around them with neil kissing his cheek

it's one of the few pictures he posts of the two of them (photos are more of neil's thing (when the hell did he take such model-esque photos of andrew?))

but andrew constantly @'s neil on twitter for literally anything

@03andrewminyard: don't forget the cat food the spoiled idiots take the most expensive stuff @neil_josten_official

@03andrewminyard: hey @neil_josten_official get me the mega stuff oreos from the store ok bye

@03andrewminyard: i- @neil_josten_official. why. is. there. neon. orange. paint. all. over. my. socks.

needless to say, neil's retaliation of posting gorgeous photos of andrew always flusters andrew

and if andrew needs to press soft kisses to his lips to stop neil's gleeful laughter and his own flightful smile, well, that's no one's business

just thinking about how the foxes were probably studying for midterms while fighting the literal mafia

Classmate: hey Aaron, did you finish the study guide for chemistry?

Aaron: no sorry my teammate was almost tortured to death and I was locked in a room by the FBI

me: spends all my time immersing myself in the foxes' found family so i don't have to deal with my own dysfunctional family

also me: wonders why i don't have a good relationship with anyone in my house