Tkm - Blog Posts

I can just imagine the cold running down Andrew's spine as he heard Neil's cell phone ring, but no sign of Neil, just his bag and the phone there on the ground

He knew Neil would never willingly leave his things behind, even with all the chaos, he would never leave his bag there. As the realization Neil was probably taken settled in, Andrew stopped to listen to the lyrics of Neil's ringtone, right as it said

'Runaway train never coming back'

And at that moment Andrew knew his runaway train could really never come back. At this point he could be dead already. The thought almost made his heart stop. Neil was smart, he was a survivor, he could survive, he HAD to survive. Andrew cursed himself for the ringtone he had chosen as a way to spite Neil, but now just felt like another one of life's cruel ironies

'Wrong way on a one-way track'

Andrew tried to remember how to breath as he reminded himself thats how it was always supposed to end, he knew this would happen, it was indeed a one-way track, but...it was so early, so sudden. Why couldn't he have more time?? He thought, not knowing if it was about him, Neil or the both of them

Andrew's chest tightened, as a mist of anger and desperation builded up inside him. He felt like he would burst at any moment. It was like a giant hole had been carved on his chest. After so long feeling nothing, having so many feelings at once made him dizzy.

That was when another realization settled in: it had always been Neil all along. Somehow Andrew was dumb enough to fool himself into thinking he would be able to let go when the time came, that he was in control of the situation and Neil was nothing but a distraction, someone interesting to distract him from the fact his whole life felt like a bore. But it wasnt true anymore and it hadn't been for a long time, maybe it was never really true.

Andrew had indeed gone the wrong way a one way track. He knew how this was gonna end, and still he fell into Neil's gravity and allowed himself to be pushed closer and closer everyday. The phone finally stopped ringing, but the song kept playing on his head like a buzz

He looked around again, hoping to find those clueless stupid blue eyes looking at him, but there was nothing, no one. He felt like if he was falling as he stomach sank. It was right then and there he finally admitted something he already had known for a while: he didn't want to, in fact, he couldnt live without Neil. A world without him was just pure hell. Andrew needed Neil as much as he needed air or water

(This wasnt supposed to be almost a fic, but I got carried away while writing, lol. Forgive me for any mistakes, I typed it on my cellphone and english isnt my first language)

Do you ever think about how Andrew called Neil’s phone after he disappeared, but instead of Neil answering, it’s just ‘Runaway train never coming back’ playing on a loop… or are you normal?

CACKLING i cherish their every little interaction.

so uhh quick update on the aftg oc his name is elio uhh his lore has changed since I last spoke about him ummm his character design is getting re done because I fucking hate what I did like not really it's just the hair that's getting edited uhh I am doing like one with a base/ref of neil holding baby elio soo ill post that when it's done so like as for elios lore uhh his age has changed not that much just the fact that during tfc he's 6-7 and than from trk and onwards he's 7-8 so its a year/two younger so he was bron like either right after Mary and neil ran or just like a month or two before which I'm going with the month or two before they ran so yeah

guys help me plz so I know we gave casey hart as a kid oc for aftg however do I make a new one cuz I have an idea and like this oc may have health issues (I'm not fully sure) so do I have this oc be like present at the start or pop up because of some underlying factor I don't much about said oc yet but I do have a desgin for them planned out in my head (I'm a bitch with to much creativity and I make way to many ocs for just about everything this is like a normal thing I fear)

it's was just a bunch of a crickets just hearing ppl breath fr

Thinking about how Andrew choked Kevin when he realised Neil was missing.

Andrew who would kill anyone who looked at Kevin the wrong way. Andrew who would stab whomever if it meant Kevin was safe. Andrew who saw a broken raven and said I’ll protect you and meant it and kept that promise like his life depended on it.

Andrew who nearly killed Allison because of a promise. Andrew who would’ve never talked to Neil again because of a promise.

Yet when there was ambulances and injured foxes and you were amazing before Neil’s gear with his phone, with a 0 on screen and a Baltimore caller ID, Andrew turned on Kevin.

Can you imagine being the other foxes and watching that happen? Knowing what Andrew would do to them for so much as breathing at Kevin in the wrong direction, now Neil was missing and Andrew was hurting Kevin and something is happening here.

Andrew and Kevin don’t have the luxury of a second language to talk to each other in, either. Whereas secrets were usually shared in French and German so the others couldn’t understand, now there’s nothing to hide behind, and Andrew doesn’t care either. Where is Neil, who is he, who’s taken him, is he safe? Is he alive?

Then picture being Kevin, knowing Andrew, knowing what this means, that Neil is more important to Andrew than he is now, so much so that he would hurt him for Neil. Not only does he know that; but he knows there’s a good chance that Neil is dead. If it’s his father, it’s not the Moriyama’s; he is the butchers son, after all, and the butcher was never keen to spare a life.

So the foxes know nothing and everything at the same time on that bus journey out to wait for his return. They know they’re hurt, that something is very wrong. They know Kevin has bruises around his neck, and Andrew can’t look him in the eye. They think they understand now why Neil got everything he asked for from Andrew; and Andrew thinks he might never see him again.

I’d say it was the quietest bus journey of their lives.

PLEASE I implore you to read whole "doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" conversation to the chorus of Closer by Nine Inch Nails. That is all.

I feel like its an underrated fact the Neil flat out told Kevin and Wymack that recruiting him was a mistake and tried his best yo get them to leave him alone in Milport.....they have nothing to blame but themselves for the chaos that followed, my guy said point blank it was a bad idea.

Ok so all Nora has givin us is 🌞

And we all just assumed and jumped on the jerjean train, but imagin TSC is actually NOTHING to do with the Trojans, and is just like andrews experience in cali, or Nicky and erik, cause erik is a cannon outdoors person, like i would love a jerjean book, and for them to be canon, but realistically it probs just hoing to be a 'how ravens adjust to being outside after 5 years' thing, like yall have to much faithhh

Since when do authors give us what we want

I wish we got a better reaction out of Wymack and the Foxes when Neil get back from Christmas break, like my guy provided no context to why riko changed his like entire look....like the dont even really get that thats his natural look untill the birthday blood shit.....like neil gives them nothing but a lame 'he threatened you if i change it back' like the team must be so confused, like WHY DOES RIKO WANT HIM GINGER, it not even raven aethestic....? Not to mention Andrew coming back from easthaven and like, he knew about his eye, but the man pulls up looking like he lost a fight with a train and is just... Not hiding them anymore? And is a ginger.....AND NO ONE QUESTIONS IT?!

"Quiero tirarme a escuchar trátame suavemente contigo"

neil was ready to die. he had accepted that he wasn’t going to live past 19, that he would be killed, that he wouldn’t do anything else with his life. and he was mourning the loss of exy and his teammates and friendship, but he didn’t bother mourning the loss of a domestic life because it never even occured to him that that could be a possibility. that dream died the night he ran away. he didn’t mourn the loss of lazy sleep-filled mornings or cat cuddles or holding hands or having his own place, because to him, that was always too far-fetched. he didn’t mourn for the small joys of domestic life, because he’d never had them in the first place

you know what’s painful? before the final match against the ravens when neil says that he can see how much matt loves his mom and that “sometimes he was still surprised at how blatantly that love was returned” 

like?? 

mary did her best to keep neil alive and they had a complicated relationship but, ultimately, neil loved her

this quote hurts though, because neil obviously didn’t really get that love reciprocated - yes, in her own way, mary loved him and tried to keep him safe and as happy as possible given the circumstances, but overall his life on the run was full of pain and fear and his mom added to that

so of course it’s weird for him to see randy love matt so fiercely and so openly, but my heart still aches for him

The "monsters"

(Not a great artist lol, first time drawing them, but I had to. I love them too much)

My Unprofessionnel Process:

Plus a sketch of Neil from the middle of Science class bc why not:

Honestly kinda in love w the red version

I mean, a fictional widowed lawyer who reads a lot and advocates for racial justice is sexy as hell

atticus finch is a dilf

So crazy how this whack asf scene actually invented sexual tension

I’m so glad I got on tumblr and found out that other ppl love Aaron bc when I was reading the books this is how I was imagining him constantly

tkm when the fbi drive Neil through Baltimore🫡 my kindle says 275

deleted my aftg blog in 2017 but im so feral for tgr that I’m back on tumblr.com

deleted my aftg blog in 2017 but im so feral for tgr that I’m back on tumblr.com

part 2 here <3

andrew is very loud about being gay.

he doesn't really "flaunt it" that much in college

but it gets to the point where he just wants to prove to kevin that yes, he can be successful and gay

so really, it all starts with a bet

anyway. neil has so many videos of andrew getting drunk in front of him and waxing poetic about boys (one in particular)

"neil. neil. this guy has such nice eyes. and ass"

*sigh* "andrew that's a picture of me"

"woahhhh"

but these are (mostly) all private moments

andrew isn't super open in front of others, considering how reserved he is in public

that all changes four years after going pro.

there are some days where queer people just feel exceptionally us and we just want to tell everyone we know

(but being closeted kinda... makes that hard. ahem.)

andrew isn't exempt from these feelings

and one day, the morning of a major interview, he's just hit with the sudden urge to tell someone that he's gay

it's bursting inside him, a physical feeling he can't push down behind the apathy

he tries to ignore it as best as he can and goes to the interview with his team

it's pretty chill. the team is playing a game called "Truth or Drink", where if you don't say truth... you drink?

so everyone's getting tipsy while andrew sits quietly in the corner of the sofa

eventually, one of his teammates realizes that no one had asked andrew anything yet, so when it's her turn, she turns to andrew

"andrew! truth or drink?"

andrew blinks slowly, a bit surprised that the question was directed to him

he considers his options. that weird feeling is still bubbling up inside his stomach and he figures alcohol will probably make things feel worse

so after a moment, he glances up at her and says quietly "truth"

she looks gleeful

after a bit of drunk conferring with some other teammates, she faces andrew with a glint in her eyes

"so," his teammates lean forward. "do you have a girlfriend?"

andrew groaned internally. of course this is the one thing they'd ask their most private, closed-off teammate

"no," he scowled. he was going to leave it at that, really, but his mouth moved faster than his mind and before he could stop himself, he blurted out "i do have a boyfriend though"

there was a moment of silence

then everyone started talking over each other, asking questions and demanding to learn more. andrew slumped in his seat, mentally preparing for the next 30 minutes

a few days later, the interview drops

predictably, the internet goes wild

fans speculate wildly about which guy andrew minyard could possibly be dating

it ranges to other exy players to celebrities to random students from PSU

neil and andrew don't come out for a while though

but in that gap, between andrew being out as gay and actually revealing that he's dating neil abram josten, andrew is pretty vocal about his sexuality

it starts with donations to LGBTQ+ groups and messages of support on social media

lots of sports fans (and people in general) understand how revolutionary it is to have an out athlete of this caliber

so they're constantly putting out encouraging messages

and after all this support, andrew eventually becomes a bit more... lax about what he posts

it starts with this on twitter:

yeah... andrew breaks the internet again

nicky tweets out an unholy amount of keyboard smashes

and andrew just... keeps posting gay memes

you can't go a single interview without andrew randomly interjecting the fact that he's gay

there are compilations on youtube like "andrew minyard being a gay icon for 17 minutes" or "20 minutes of andrew minyard being fruity af"

(andrew finds these far too funny — every time he comes across one of these, he just has to share it on social media)

andrew ends up on the face of so many queer magazines and pride events and such

of course, there are some shitty homophobic people

but every time a kid comes up to him and tells him how he inspired them to come out, those people become easier and easier to forget about

needless to say, by the time he and neil come out, andrew's already pretty comfortable with sharing his sexuality on the internet

being out as a couple, though? well, that's just a whole other story

LOOK OUT FOR PART 2 IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS it's abt andrew and neil coming out istg it's a mess but a very fun one lmao

the best part about rereading aftg is finding little hints at andreil before they actually happen. like it's so subtle but so hard to miss when you know what's actually happening ya know?

from trk

and this is from tkm

hii i literally love your headcannons... can you please write Laila and Alvarez hcs? they're so underrated!!

ok yes as it is now pride and these two are my fav lesbians i MUST

so they met their freshman year at USC, when laila tripped over her foot after seeing a hot girl (alvarez) and spilled a coffee all over said hot girl's new white shirt

alvarez proceeded to hate her. even if she was nice to look out. she definitely did not notice that

and because laila does not like to be bested, she decided that alvarez's pretty face would not distract from her annoying personality

their rivalry was the only major point of contention within the trojans — they would constantly bicker in and out of practice

(jeremy, bless his heart, could never figure out when laila and alvarez were flirting or fighting though)

but despite this, they worked wonders on the court

laila was a powerhouse in the goal and alvarez was a relentless backliner

everyone was extremely confused about the nature of their relationship

this on-and-off behavior continued well into their second year

that is, until they got their spring semester classes and laila and alvarez were in the same calculus class

now they actually had to deal with each other, even off the court

they managed to stay out of each other's hair mostly, but one day, alvarez was absolutely stuck on a concept and jeremy was shit at math and office hours were closed and this really wasn't good—

she did the first thing she could and texted laila for help

so laila came over and after some initial awkwardness, they actually started working

and it turns out, laila is really good at explaining math

it turns into a bit of a norm. every wednesday afternoon, they would meet in a café and study together

(and maybe, just maybe, if each week, they began sitting closer and closer to one another, that's really no one's business)

this just slowly happens over the next few months, and one day, it hits the two of them that hey, maybe i actually like her more than a friend?

naturally, laila and alvarez both freak the fuck out at this

so they go to jeremy separately, who is now dealing with two flustered, emotionally-constipated lesbians

laila: jeremy i think i like alvarez. "like" as in i want to date her

jeremy: hmm. maybe you should just tell her?

laila: fucking shit knox are you dumb—

alvarez: jeremy HELP i think i have a crush on laila

jeremy: well, maybe she feels the same way! just tell her that :)

alvarez: you're so goddamn stupid why would i do that—

needless to say, jeremy is extremely overwhelmed.

eventually, he wrangles the two of them together on new year's day at a party

it's minutes to midnight and nearly everyone has a partner, romantic or platonic

laila and alvarez end up pushed up next to each other, surrounded by a bunch of loud, sweaty college kids

but none of that mattered. because with three seconds on the clock, laila and alvarez both felt a surge of courage from jeremy's words

they rushed towards each other just as midnight struck and promptly smashed their noses together

neither of them really expected their first date to be at the ER with swollen, bleeding noses

but hey! there's nothing more romantic than matching ice packs and nose splits, right?

andreil and goodbye kisses (pt. 8) ft. wymack (+ a bonus)

part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 || i'm actually feeling kinda sad that this is the last part but also my brain can't come up with more ideas lmao

wymack stands by the fact that he doesn't get paid enough to deal with andrew and neil's shit (both as separate idiots and together)

but he does care for all his foxes, despite all the... difficulties that surround them

and honestly? one of the biggest struggles he faces is how absolutely thick-headed and oblivious the foxes can be regarding andrew and neil's relationship

truly, the heart-eyes neil constantly gave andrew were so obvious, he's not sure how everyone missed them before

but because he's so observant, he doesn't fail to notice how the older foxes keep giving strange looks to neil whenever he leaves andrew's side now

wymack doesn't get in the way of his foxes' personal lives. but if they start causing disturbances on the court, it's his job as coach to get to the bottom of these issues

(okay, maybe he and dan catch up on the so-called "drama" in the team every few weeks but it's for completely exy-related business. ahem. of course)

one day, wymack corners neil and lets him know that he and dan were to meet in his office after practice to talk through some logistics for the winter banquet

neil agrees, and practice goes smoothly (or, as smoothly as it can go with the foxes)

but after practice is... interesting

wymack swears he had no ulterior motives planned with the meeting; it really was supposed to be a genuine discussion

but the outcome of it was certainly unexpected

he and dan both know to wait for neil, that he doesn't like changing in front of anyone

so they wait. and wait. and wait.

it gets to the point where it's nearly 45 minutes after practice and surely neil should be done at this point, no?

wymack gets up, fully prepared to break down the door to make sure neil is okay when suddenly it slams open

neil tumbles out hand-in-hand with andrew, with matching flushed faces and ruffled hair

wymack sighs

dan outright snorts, and neil's head jerks up and his eyes widen when he notices dan and wymack

but before he can say anything, dan stands up and grins at andrew

"fucking neil again, huh?"

neil chokes on a cough and wymack turns to dan with a groan when he notices the mischievous glint in her eye, almost like that was an... inside joke?

with minyard?

wymack is very confused

andrew just scowls at dan. "i will knife you and make it look like an accident"

neil is still recovering from his coughing bout, so wymack turns back to the stabby midget ready to reprimand him

"i'm not scared of you anymore, remember andrew?" dan's eyes are still bright as she tries not to laugh

"shut up, both of you" wymack interrupts their weird jokes conversation whatever gruffly. "neil, do you remember why we're here?"

"huh? OH. oh shit. drew, i'm supposed to be talking with them about some winter banquet stuff"

andrew considers this. "how long?" wymack tells him about an hour, and andrew nods and turns to neil. "i'll stay"

neil just rolls his eyes. "you have a paper due tomorrow that you haven't even started yet. go do that, i'll be fine"

wymack sighs. he's been doing a lot of that lately. "minyard, go finish your homework or i swear to god, i'll make you run three marathons next week"

andrew glares but mutters out a "fine." he goes to leave but neil tugs him back by the wrist

neil then proceeds to kiss andrew on the nose and gives him the most bashful smile wymack has ever seen on the kid's face

neil's happy. it's a christmas miracle! and it's not even christmas yet!

and that kiss... really, it was the last thing he expected out of neil and andrew but he's happy at how comfortable they've grown around each other

and okay, it was a little adorable

(not that he'd ever say that to their faces, of course)

andrew ends up stumbling out of the court with the reddest face wymack's seen as neil turns back to him and dan

"right" he says sheepishly. "banquet?"

BONUS:

abby doesn't believe it when david tells her about the nose kiss

she knows that neil has a heart of gold, she knows that andrew has so much capacity to feel

but a nose kiss? she doesn't think andrew would agree to that

so when her older foxes come over one night after a tiring, but successful, game, she decides she needs to see this for herself

after a hearty dinner, all the kids are sitting in the living room, with andrew and neil talking quietly in the back corner of the room.

perfect.

"neil!" abby calls, and everyone in the room quiets to look at her. "sweetheart, could you help me bring out the dessert?"

nicky immediately jumps up from beside her, saying how he could help if she needed it

"no no, it's alright, i was hoping to talk to neil, if that's okay? it might take a little while"

neil looks extremely worried at this and abby almost feels guilty.

almost

he glances at andrew and then he leans down so quickly that abby nearly misses it

neil kisses andrew on the nose.

abby barely notices andrew's bright blush, nor does she register neil moving towards her

she just feels so proud of her foxes for coming so far in a world that keeps trying to beat them down

it's a sentimental moment, which is completely ruined by kevin's woop and nicky's yell of glee

"YES BITCH THEY DID IT THEY DID THE KISS GIVE ME YOUR MONEY ALLISON"

"fuck you hemmick. fuck you"

neil looks at them wildly. "you guys were betting on us? i didn't think you would..."

matt sighs and slings an arm around his friend. "oh neil, do you still really think that low of us? we bet on everything"

JSKHKKSJ OK IT'S FINALLY DONE i already miss this series but it has been a fun time :) my asks are always open if y'all have anything specific you want me to write !

ok because AP tests are upon us and this is my only way of releasing all my stress, here's a short list of andreil study time hcs for your viewing pleasure

our boy andrew doesn't really have to study

neil on the other hand... actually needs to work to keep up his GPA

he's never really cared enough to study but now he has the foxes and exy and a future to lose so he might as well put in the effort to keep them

neil needs caffeine like he needs oxygen. the man cannot focus for shit without it

he'll down like three mugs of black coffee in the morning and be set for the day

andrew hates it but doesn't complain much as long as neil makes him some actually decent coffee too

(once, neil accidentally gave him the wrong mug and andrew didn't talk to him for the rest of the day)

when andrew does study or does homework, he hates studying in the library

he told nicky that it was because he's "allergic to books"

really, he just knows he'd get distracted and start reading william faulkner or jane austen instead of his textbooks

neil, however, loves the library

he can't study at all in the dorms; he needs to keep moving to new environments so he doesn't get bored by his surroundings

so neil and andrew don't study together half the time

which works out well considering the few times that they do, they tend to get more than a little... distracted

but if the library is closed or neil just doesn't have the energy to leave the dorm, he bullies andrew into helping him study instead of playing video games or reading

(neil gets a kiss for every question he gets right. andrew gets to look at a pretty guy for a few hours. it's a win-win situation)

mr. Neil draws-fox-paws-instead-of-doing-his-work Josten struggles with focusing on literally anything but exy and andrew

so he always ropes in one of the foxes as a "study-buddy" to hold him accountable while he's working

andrew and neil both like having noise-cancelling headphones on while they work, but this also means that people hold full-on conversations with them without realizing that they can't be heard

(also, because they're assholes, even when they can hear the other person, they just... don't respond.)

andrew is a pastel highlights guy. also he's weirdly possessive about his pens

neil just grabs the first mechanical pencil he sees (99% of the stationary he has isn't even his, he just found them laying around campus)

neil is also super disorganized. loose papers everywhere, he can never find anything. no matter how clean a place starts, it turns into a mess within 5 minutes of neil studying there

he also has food wrappers and crumbs everywhere because he constantly snacks while studying

andrew is surprisingly clean - he organizes everything by class and then color-codes everything (granted his memory helps so he doesn't have too many notes in the first place)

anyways, they both have their own methods of studying and it works for them

(aka andrew just vibes and neil frantically finishes all his work 3 hours before it's due)

ok yeah that's all i got right now, my brain is fried and i actually have to study now, pray for me 😔

andrew in tkm after neil respects his boundaries, treats him like an actual person, and still shows interest in him: i used to be in love with neil as a joke. but bro... i don't think it's a joke anymore 👀

An interesting scene in tkm to me is when Neil dismisses Kevin on the bus to Binghamton.

It's the middle of the bus ride, and he's trying to decide where to sit after their rest stop as Kevin talks to them all about the stats of the team they're on their way to play. As he's making that decision it says he "felt trapped, stuck between what he wanted and what he needed, what he'd never have or be and what he had but couldn't keep."

The former of both oscillations, in my opinion, is referring to Andrew and what he feels with and for him and the team in general, and the latter are referring to exy and what Kevin could bring him to in this season and in the future as a pro.

Ultimately, he chooses Andrew, but in doing so Kevin reacts by telling him to stay and listen and "Remember that you gave me your game." Neil responds to this by saying that Kevin has given up on the team and "I'm taking my game back. I don't owe you anything."

This is Neil ending his deal with Kevin to keep playing despite knowing what is coming for him, right before he goes to do the same with Andrew.

The differences between these cutting of deals is compelling to me.

With Kevin it is more implicit in the "I'm taking my game back." In Kevin's anger and exasperation at Neil's "spoiled child" act, I don't think he recognizes what Neil is doing and meaning by ending their deal. It's not just 'Kevin gave up, so I don't owe him anything', it's Neil letting go of his ties as he prepares for what the "0" on his phone will bring.

Andrew, I believe, does recognize this. Neil ending their deal, framing it as "Let me learn to fight for myself." It is him once again cutting ties, but also releasing any blame for what is about to happen to him, especially since Andrew is very serious about his promises and so needs to be explicitly released from them if ever. Andrew doesn't know that the countdown has ended, or that there was one to begin with, but he can see that something has shifted for Neil in him asking for this. Just as he sees after their game from "the strain in Neil's mask." and the "Thank you. You were amazing."

Neil knew something was coming that day, what and when he wasn't certain, but the "0" was demonstrative enough. I think the way he ended those two deals displays a lot of his emotions towards those two things he valued.

He needed exy, but had already released the idea of keeping it. So he dismissed Kevin and anything he owed him in relation to their gameplay, still ending their deal but in a way that speaks of having understood when he started that it wasn't something that would last. He wanted safety and comfort and love, but didn't believe he'd ever have that life or be that person. So he asks Andrew to let him go, showing that he understands how Andrew works with deals, that he values him enough to end it before it's ended for them, and that their 'this' isn't something he expected to happen or knows how to want or be. Both are endings of deals, both are releases of blame, and both display to the recipients that something has changed for Neil, whether or not they recognize it.

But he chose to go to the back of the bus and to ask, he chose Andrew, even if it was only for whatever time he had left before the result of that "0".

how many of us think that the Butcher's trial/case, and Neil and Jean's involvement in it, will be an event that plays a large role in the plot of the next book?

i didn't really think of it too seriously during tsc just because these books are about Jean and Jeremy, not Neil who is obviously the primary witness/corroborator for the case. but now with tgr, there have been multiple instances of the fbi and Neil himself bringing Jean further into the case as well. such as with Neil and Stuart ensuring the fbi's discovery of the Moreau's connection to the Butcher at the end of tsc, the subsequent arrest of Jean's parents in tgr, and of course the fbi stepping in to provide housing to Jean, Laila, and Cat when their house burns down, specifically outlined as being done to protect (and bribe/monitor?) a witness in said case until the trial ends.

in the discussion about the housing with Browning and Owens, they imply that the trial should be finished within the school year. so obviously it'll be happening at the very least in the background like we saw with Aaron's trial, but given these examples of Jean's perceived importance to the case by the fbi, i think it's likely that his involvement will play a larger role than i originally thought in the plot of the next book. (books? i'm still convinced there's too much to cover in only one more book, especially if this ends up being a part of it)

how he is involved, however, i'm wondering if will be different than we or even Jean is thinking. he specifically says to the agents in the housing discussion that he has provided them with the little amount of information he has and knows nothing else of worth for this case. and that's true... except for the exclusion of his knowledge on the Moriyamas. Browning's response to Jean stating that he was of no more use to them was “i guess we'll see”. i have a niggling suspicion that the fbi might be starting to look further than face value into either the potentially (though we know it's certain) extensive violence and abuse (and murder) that occurred in Evermore, or maybe even considering a connection between the Butcher and the Moriyamas and/or the Ravens given the concern brought up by Neil in tsc over why his appearance changed after going to the Nest in trk and Jean's early induction into the Ravens now that the fbi believes his family was working with the Butcher. or both given that one leads to the other.

i don't think this line of questioning will go far, considering how little it seems the fbi knows about the Moriyamas true business and the fact that we know that Neil, Jean, and Kevin continue to play exy in contract with Ichirou well into the future, but i wonder if this will become the primary issue in Jean's involvement in the trial with him having to validate his connection and knowledge about the Butcher and Neil without revealing anything about the Moriyamas, as we have already seen him having to censor himself about during the discussion with the agents.

and finally, if all of this comes to be true, i wonder if Jean's concern (likely terror) at being involved in this trial due to the Moriyamas and the complications that inevitably arise because of that, becomes how his contract and the real Moriyama business gets revealed to Jeremy, at the very least, but likely (hopefully) Cat and Laila as well... because as we know, where Jean goes those three follow and Jean will choose them right back.

I'm not sure if Nora has discussed the answer to this before, but which birthday does Neil use after his identity is made legal? Which one did the fbi put on his new ID and passport and stuff?

I recall that in the extra content Nora responded to an ask related to this saying that the 'crazy' party Dan wanted to do for him did end up happening in March, but in another she also explained how Neil doesn't really like large gatherings or celebrating things like anniversaries. That party doesn't necessarily designate that as the date he chose or that he celebrates at all, maybe just that the team wanted to plan something for him and that was the day that worked best in the timeline of the aftermath of tkm.

I've seen people post a happy birthday thing for him on both January 19th and March 31st, so it seems as a fandom we consider both accurate, but I wonder which one Neil chose... something to ponder.

No cause I can imagine this going so so hard, the edits that people would make from it too- I can picture it now-

tkm teaser with a bunch of quick cuts and snippets of people in the show (news anchors, the foxes, other teams, etc etc) all saying neil’s name so it’s just repeated, neil josten neil josten neil josten, then abrupt cut and black screen and then we flash to the scene where after nathan is murdered and nathaniel is laughing, borderline hysterical and saying to the police: “my name is nathaniel wesninski”.

i think at least once a day about what andrew and aaron's relationship could've been if nothing bad ever happened to them. if they hadn't been failed by everyone in their lives. if they had each other if no one else

Neil Josten is a really fucking phenomenal protagonist. Unreliable narrator or not, I really enjoyed his internal monologue. The reason I like his perspective so much is because we can we constantly see his internal conflict. He KNEW his father would find him, he KNEW about the Moriyamas and was terrified and he STILL CHOSE the Foxes and Andrew and Exy over it all. Even when he knew he was about to DIE, he told himself to that it was enough, because it was more than he ever thought he'd have.

I just- god, I love him so much. He's should be considered a national treasure. Anyway, happy birthday to Neil Abram Josten and thank you for coming to my TED talk.