Entry #3
Entry #3
The weather didn't change. It's 17:00 at the time I'm writing this, and there's not really anything else to do.
My other best friend has fever, but it's gotten better over the past few days. She had a few fever hallucinations, but that might also be because of her schizophrenia, and that it's ''mixing'' with the fever. It's very hot where she lives as well right now, so she has a chance of getting worse. But she seems to be doing quite well up until now, so let's just hope it'll stay like that.
I think I might actually finish my diary in the next week, maybe even this week, who knows. Then I can finally start the new one! I might post a picture of the new diary later, when I start using it. But until then, it's gonna stay a secret.
I'll keep you up to date, bye ^^
More Posts from The-froggy-jester and Others
Another one of the songs that I listen to relatively frequently. I find the melody very calming, which is one of the main reasons I am so in love with this masterpiece. The band it’s from, MISSIO, is very good in general... at least I think so. Of course, anyone is allowed to have their own opinion on this blog. Honestly, I just don’t care. I think more people should just mind their own business. For instance, why would you give a single floop if someone is part of the LGBTQ+? Just mind your own business. Why would you judge other people because of their hobbies, interests etc? Just mind your own business. I simply don’t understand why you would make your and someone else’s day worse by complaining about their taste in music, just because they listen to Twenty One Pilots instead of Panic!At The Disco, or like K-Pop more than Rap. I personally don’t like any of the listed genres or bands, but my best friend loves P!atd, and I respect that. Or, more acurately, I don’t give a damn. Wow, this turned from music to a rant about my class. They gossip about everyone and everything. They called me ‘‘EmO’‘ and ‘‘GoTh’‘ because I wore all black one day. To be fair, I also had on my dark blue lipstick. They even talk about each other behind their backs. If they are talking about me, they don’t even bother to hide it. for instance, I’m a slut, because I have more male than female friends. I just get along with guys better. They are funnier to be around, and the girls from my class are literally the ‘‘other girls’‘ that are being described by the r/notlikeothergirls-girls. They only talk about make-up, horses (One has a horse) and when they went shopping where. A girl from my spanish class though (I don’t know if I already talked about her), she’s really cool. We share our love for anime, Hamilton/Musicals in general, drawing, memes, music and a couple more things. I get along with her great, and there are a few more girls from her class that are really laid back and funny. They’re fun to be around, so it’s sad to say I only see them about twice a week... ah, this is already way too long. sorry and thank you for reading. I’ll see you around if you choose to stick with me. Goodbye :)
Entry #9, 8/7/19
I've finished Diary nr. 11. Number 12 is fortunately not blank on the inside, and has lines I can write on. I still think it's very pretty.
Pesto's gonna talk to his crush today, and they'll meet up soon. I hope the meetup will lead to more action between them.
Pesto has asked me, if I wanted to translate a script for him, and maybe I'll get the chance to voice act! It'd be awesome! I love voice acting.
Nothing more happened. Goodbye, seeya!
Entry #24, 11/20/19
Greetings. I am currently on the ‘vacation’ I told you about in the last entry. The journey yesterday was beyond burdensome. My sister didn’t want to help move the luggage and basically just pouted the whole time, because ‘‘It’S tOo HeAvY’‘, and my mother (whom I will refer to as Voldemort from now on) was just there, not doing anything about my little sister’s laziness. Apparently (according what she said) I was a lazy piece of sh- when I watched over the remaining luggage instead of helping moving it around. Most likely because she had to help Voldemort.
After our arrival, though, things have been pretty great. I/We have a ‘‘flat’‘ in the second house; it has a small bathroom (but still big enough to fit a shower, toilet and sink), a bedroom with two beds and a table, and a ‘‘main area’‘, where there is another bed, two cupboards and a table. All in all, it would be pretty cozy and great... if there wasn’t my mother packing it with tons and tons of stuff. She has a cupboard full of food, even though we get served breakfast, lunch and dinner, and has packed 3, I repeat, 3 suitcases for her alone.
>>one is for arts and crafts, one is my luggage and one is for your very thick clothing.<<, she said. I think now might be the appropriate time to inform you that I packed my own suitcase with everything I need. After all, I am old enough to pack my own clothes etc.
Moving on to today: I woke up at 6.30, went to have breakfast, then straight to the ‘‘school’‘, only to be greeted by about 15 kids under the age of 11. I did the only thing I could think of, and sat down at a lonely table in the corner of the room. Only a few minutes later, a kid sat down next to me and we just kinda started to play a random game. Soon after, another boy (about 9) sat down with us and just joined the game. The entire group then sat in a circle, and we started telling each other our names. I don’t remember many of them, but there was one boy that stood out. After saying his name, he stated that he would turn 14 in three days (just like me), and just said that he hates people. It was too relatable to actually be true. And as if that wasn’t enough, he also has a little sibling of his own gender (just like me #2). I don’t know his brothers name, though. Nor his last name. But I will hopefully find out soon. Why not stalk him a little, eh?~
Ah, it’s getting late. I will go to bed now, goodbye and goodnight you beautiful people~
Mary out~
Entry #4
It's still very warm, but not too hot. The weather app I use says it'll be around 19° at 3 am, so I guess I'll be able to sleep. At least it's colder than the nights before, and it's supposed to get colder over the next couple of days.
My best friend (the girl, let's call her... Sophie) has a doctor's appointment today, so she couldn't answer me until now.
I had the day for myself. I was writing in my diary a lot, just going through the people that are dropping out of my class or out of my school completely, the ones that are new, etc. There's no big difference, but we will have a new student. How about we refer to him as Justin for now? As I said, he'll be a new ''member'' of my class, and I really hope he's a nice dude. All of the other guys are just such imbiciles at times. Most of them hate me, some just can't stand me, and there may be a few that kinda like me, but wouldn't talk to me alone. So my hopes are high that he's actually someone reasonable. We'll also get new teachers. Nice ones, hopefully. Maybe I'll get back my old french teacher; he was way better at teaching than the one we have now is. Or had before vacation started. I also dislike my German and Math teachers a lot. They are both pretty annoying, and don't give a floop if you need help or not. ''YoU cOuLd HaVe LiStEnEd WhEn I wAs ExPlAiNiNg It'' too bad they both can't explain for shi-
Anyways. I think I should give some important people in my life names... so here goes.
Best friend (male): Pesto (that's his actual nickname.)
Best friend (female): Sophie
New student (male): Justin
Teachers: Imma start with that when I know for sure which teachers I have
My mother: Mom or Mum (too lazy to think of a name)
My oldest sister: Jessica
My older sister: Silvia
My younger sister: Lou
That's everything that matters for now. Maybe I'll add some people later.
Have a good one! ^^
Entry #34, 1/29/25, very short
Wow. So glad I remembered the password. Time for a new entry, I guess?
Sooooo much happened. So very much. And honestly, I'm kind of sad that I didn't continue this blog while I lived with my sister, because ohhh boy would that have been fun to read now. It was a shit show. But luckily I still have my diaries from that time... it almost feels like I survived a war or something. I think I'll just start writing down random things I remember and want to have written down somewhere before I forget them, so from now on, imagine a fat tw in front of every post concerning that topic. I'll specify if certain subjects are more prominent in a post, but you can almost certainly expect verbal abuse, helpless rage and probably swearing.
To give you a quick idea of where I am now:
- I live alone (or, well, independently. I share my flat with two dudes. I'll call one Tom and the other Marc.)
- Since my last entry, I was in 2 relationships. Both of them were toxic. Now I'm with my boyfriend, who I'll be calling Derrick, since November last year
- I went no contact with my oldest sister (the one whose place I was at in the entry about Christmas and how disappointed I was)
- I also went no contact with my mother (formerly known as ___ or Voldemort)
- I'm in therapy, got diagnosed with ADHD, got meds for it
-My grades plummeted . But now I'm doing better, thanks to the meds.
- I'm now 19 years old and go by Jamie since 2022 around friends and like early 2023 around teachers, nowadays everyone refers to me and knows me as Jamie. Pronouns-wise, all are fine, but I prefer he/they. I'm enby and pan, should you care
- All racists, homophobes, transphobes and similar people that just have to get up in everybody's business, feel free to contact me if you want to have a respectful convo about it to exchange views :)
Seeya!
Entry #16, 9/11/19
Currently in the bus, on my way to school. I thought I'd quickly tell you how my therapist reacted, since I promised you said info: he apologized, multiple times, and- well, we had other things to talk about, so I changed the subject after a while. He recommended a book (about psychology), and I'm hopefully gonna be able to get it soon. I mean, if someone, whose profession is psychology, recommends a book, it has to be good, right? It's about childhood and trauma, and how to detect one, too, I think. I'll take a look at it later. See you!
Entry #33, 14/4/20
I’m so sorry I stopped updating! I kinda forgot I had a blog--- but I’ll try to remember and update more often from now on!
Anyway... a quick summary of what happened (of course with the help of my diary because I forget everything way too fast):
1.: Me and my ‘‘best’‘ friend Cel stopped talking. She barely has any time anymore, so I gave up on trying to contact her. I told her how i felt about the whole situation, and kinda--- emotionally detached from her again?? I came to terms with the fact that we won’t talk anymore, but instead of breaking off contact I decided to keep her as a ‘‘friend’‘ for roleplaying, cuz she’s the only one I have a bnha-roleplay with.
2.: The guy from the German equivalent of child services was here twice, and we’ll probably get the family-helper peeps after this whole ‘‘situation’‘ with the pandemic is over.
3.: Pesto (my ex-bestie) texted me a while back. I said i would give him a second chance, but honestly... I was really disappointed when I found out he hadn’t killed himself. I tried to make him do it passive-aggressively, but he got a gf and his mental health was very good in general, so I’ll just wait until he has another depressive-episode (he’s bipolar)...
4.: A guy from my school, that I literally talked to once before and that we’ll call Dennis, asked a good friend of mine (Freddie) if he could get my number. Freddie told me and asked if I was okay with him giving Dennis my number, I said yes... big mistake. Dennis started texting me every twenty minutes, it got really annoying, but I was too scared to hurt his feeling, so I didn’t tell him off. He started talking to me in school too, gave me a drawing (a bad one at that) and just made me really uncomfortable in general. After getting a bit of advice from a couple other girls I told him I was uncomfortable with texting him, he said he understood, but was clearly hurt by what I said (I tried to be as nice as possible!). Anyway, I’m glad I don’t have to deal with him right now... >~<°
5.: I got an interview for a politics-project I need for school. It went well, I got all the info I needed, yeet.
And since I’m a meanie, I saved the best for last:
I got a girlfriend!~~ (31.3.20 UwU) She’s in all of the discord servers I’m in, and even before we got together we talked super often and complimented each other constantly... She’s super cute! Whenever I talk to her I feel so much lighter, happier and just overall better...~ and if you’d have asked past me if I could ever imagine getting a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend as my first ever relationship, I’d have shouted ‘‘No way!’‘- and now look where that got me. It’s not even like I was homophobic, I just thought it was weird for me to like a girl because that’s just how I was raised. (My gramps was a really religious christian, and of course the whole ‘‘very religious grandpa’‘ stereotype wouldn’t be complete without a heaping pile of homophobia...) Now I’m happily in love, I even imagined how awesome it would be to move in together, adopt a kid and get married... which I never could before (with anyone, not just girls) without feeling a little weird about it. But now I can imagine all I want and even feel like it’s the right thing to do!~ God, I could go on and on about how much I love her... <3
There’s something else I want to address as well tho, so no can do. I got into a fight with my mother just a couple days ago, and I’m giving her the Todoroki-Treatment again (I talk to her as little as possible, and when I do, I have a monotone voice and neutral expression). She accused me of so many things I didn’t do, and even said to my face that I was born as [deadname] and will always stay [deadname]. I’m using the word deadname not because I’m trans (cuz that’s where it’s actually supposed to be used), but because I hate the name I was born with and don’t want to be addressed with the name that I link so many bad memories with. The very next day, she took away my phone and laptop because I was ‘’disrespectful’‘. The day after that, (12.4.20, Easter+ my little sister’s b-day) she wanted to talk about what happened again and admitted she was wrong. She apologized, even wrote ‘‘Mary’‘ on an egg custom-filled with chocolate to ‘‘buy’‘ my happiness in a way. Didn’t work. She was just being really pathetic... like always after a fight when she ‘’regrets saying those things and that she actually didn’t mean them’‘. I’m just in complete control whenever that happens, and it’s really awesome bc I can make her feel really bad by just not talking to her lmao-
Anyway, that was all that happened. I’ll let you know when something interesting is going on. Bai! ^^
Entry #22, 11/5/19
Hello, everyone. I’ve found the time and ways to finally update. I got a laptop, and I’m still figuring out how to actually work with it, but I’m managing. At least I can continue writing my story without having to wait 5 hours for my computer to boot up and the program to start. I should probably add, that this is my first laptop since I could never really afford one, but my mother got this one (which was her old one before) fixed, and she has a new one. Hooray for me. Anyways. I wanted to let all of you (aka nobody in particular, just future me) know, that my tumblr app, which I used before to post and all, has an error that makes me unable to use it. That’s why I wasn’t able to post. But since I’ve got a solution for that problem now, I should be able to post more or less regularly.
Apart from that, not much has been going on. I am aware that I’m not doing enough for school and I didn’t do my homework, I should probably study right now rather than updating here, but am I going to do so? No, of course not. Why? Well, mainy because I don’t want to. I should bring some dicipline into my life, I know, but who needs dicipline when they can have fun? Or at least not be annoyed or unhappy. My personal opinion is, that you should do what makes you happy, but you should also work for your happiness. Nothing is free in this world.
Ah, another day, another rant. but I should (rather want to) lay down in my bed now, and probably either read or draw. I wish everyone a good night, evening or morning, goodbye.
