House Vines

House Vines

Gryffindor prefect relaxing in the tub late at night in the prefect’s bathroom.

Ravenclaw prefect: in a lifeguard uniform sitting on the edge of the tub, sexily. I see you don’t have a lifeguard here at your beach.

Gryffindor prefect: physically confused

Raveclaw prefect: acting sexy

Gryffindor prefect: I’m not at the beach-this is a bathtub.

House shenanigans

Ravenclaw: Slytherin, someone’s been kidnapped!

Slytherin: I swear to god if it’s Gryffindor-

Ravenclaw: It’s Gryffindor.

Slytherin: SoN oF a BiTcH!

What’s heavier?

Gryffindor: Got a question for you. What’s heavier? A kilogram of steel? Or a kilogram of feathers?

Time ticks

Gryffindor: That’s right. It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.

Gryffindor’s Show!

Gryffindor: What do you mean?

Slytherin: They’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor: But steel is heavier than feathers...

Slytherin: Heh. I know, but they’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor:...Wha?

Gryffindor’s Show!

A scale holding both a kilogram of feathers and steel stands before gryffindor. The scale is balanced.

Gryffindor: That doesn’t prove anything, because steel is heavier than feathers.

Hufflepuff: I know, but look. They’re both a kilogram. Right? So they’re the same.

Gryffindor: Ok, but look at the size of this. *points to the huge bag of feathers* That’s cheating!

Slytherin: *laughs* No, they’re the same weight!

Hufflepuff: *also laughing* it’s a kilogram!

Gryffindor: But steels heavier than feathers...

Gryffindor’s Show!

Ravenclaw examining the scale.

Ravenclaw: They’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor: Oh no...oh, no, you, ah...no...

Hufflepuff: You alright?

Gryffindor: *sadly* I don’t get it.

Slytherin: Sorry...

Ravenclaw: Yeah...Don’t worry about it!

House Vines

Hufflepuff performing stand up comedy

Hufflepuff: So, I’ve got a drinking problem.

Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: light chuckles

Hufflepuff: I’m not old enough to drink, that’s the problem.

Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: all whooping and cheering

House vines

Hufflepuff: Hey, can everybody leave the kitchen while I get my fourth pudding cup?

Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor:...

Hufflepuff: *a little quieter* I just don’t want you guys to know I’ve...had four pudding cups...

House Vines

Gryffindor: *holding a “Yuleball?” Sign*

Hufflepuff: Oh! Oh my god! Yes!

Gryffindor: N-no! Tell Ravenclaw!

Hufflepuff: Okay. *whips around to where raven claw is sitting*

Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw! I’m going to the Yuleball with your boyfriend Gryffindor!

House Vines

Gryffindor standing on the edge of one of the buildings in hogsmeade getting ready to jump.

Slytherin: unenthusiastically Don’t kill yourself.

Gryffindor: Planking on the edge I might!

Slytherin: still unenthusiastically while trying to grab griffindor Don’t kill yourself.

Gryffindor: Hanging upside down from the edge I might!

Slytherin: whilst pulling gryffindor by their feet That’ll ruin the trip, dude.

House Vines

Muggle Hufflepuff: *sitting in car in front of a Wendys with Gryfindor, who is recording Hufflepuff* Is Wendy working today? *faces the camera smiling*

Muggle Gryfindor: Bruh, you didn’t roll your window down.

Muggle Hufflepuff: Wha?

Muggle Hufflepuff: Is Wendy working today? *once again faces Gryfindor’s camera smiling*

Muggle Gryfindor: I think they’re closed.

Muggle Hufflepuff: Yeah me too.

Muggle Hufflepuff: Hey, is Wendy working today?

Muggle Gryfindor: Dude I think we’re at Taco Bell-

Muggle Hufflepuff: *tears in eyes* WhAt hOw!?

House Shenanigans

*Gryffindor sitting on the opposite side of the desk from Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff*

Ravenclaw: *reading Gryffindor’s resume* Says here you’re proficient at fighting ghost?

Gryffindor: *feet kicked up. Arms behind head* Yeah.

Slytherin: *looking over Ravenclaw’s shoulder* But...*looking up* This place isn’t haunted.

Gryffindor: *finger guns* You’re welcome.

Ravenclaw and Slytherin: *looks directly at the camera like Ben from Parks and rec*

Hufflepuff: Holy shit!

House Vines

Ravenclaw prefect: *Singing while bursting into Slytherin’s dorm* Good morning~Good mooooorrrning~!!!!

Ravenclaw prefect: Wake up kiddo it’s Saturday!!

Slytherin: Ugh...Ravenclaw I was out late!

Ravenclaw prefect: *Takes a big slurp of tea* I know!