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How to cheat at the Hogwarts sorting quiz!
I don’t know if this been done before but oh well:
Want to be a Gryffindor but you keep getting Hufflepuff? Or maybe you feel like a Ravenclaw but you get Slytherin? Here is how to get the house you want! This is not really cheating, considering which questions you got; also timing but this gives you at least chance to get the house you want.
I’m going to do this house for house; with each question and what percentage you get. Hope this doesn’t get confusing.
Let’s go!
Let’s start with Ravenclaw:
1. Dawn 50%
2. Forest 50%
3. Moon 50%
4. Ignorant 57%
5. Think with admiration of your achievements 63%
6. The Wise (obviously) 67%
7. Wisdom (duh) 70%
8. Fresh parchment 73%
9. The foaming, frothing, silvering liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds. 75%
10. The piano 77%
11. The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples 79%
12. The ornate golden casket. 80%
13. Mysterious handwritten book; perfected cure then student records. 81%
14. Hunger or being ignored 78%
15. Imitated 79%
16. The power to change you appearance at will. 78%
17. Transfiguration or every area of magic I can. 79%
18. Goblins 78%
19. Attempt to confuse the troll 79%
20. Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. 80%
21. Ask what makes them think so? 81%
22. Standing on top of something very high 81%
23. The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings 82%
24. Withdraw into the shadows to await developments... 83%
25. Tawny; screech; brown or barn owl. 83%
26. White 81%
27. Heads 79%
28. Left 77%
That is the most Ravenclaw answers.
Now it’s Slytherin!
1. Dusk 50%
2. River 50%
3. Moon 50%
4. Ordinary 57%
5. I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead. 63%
6. The Great (obviously) 67%
7. Power (duh) 70%
8. The sea 73%
9. The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions 75%
10. The violin 77%
11. The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling. 79%
12. The gleaming jet black box 80%
13. Student records, mysterious handwritten book then nearly perfected cure 81%
14. Cold, boredom or being ignored 78%
15. Feared 79%
16. The power to change the past 78%
17. Hexes and jinxes 79%
18. Vampires 80%
19. Suggest that all three of you fight 81%
20. You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. 82%
21. Agree, and ask whether they’d like a free sample of a jinx? 82%
22. Being forced to speak in silly voice. 83%
23. The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley 84%
24. Draw your wand and stand your ground 84%
25. Siamese, ginger, black or white cat. 84%
26. Black 82%
27. Tails 80%
28. Left 78%
And that is Slytherin!
On to Hufflepuff!
1. Dusk 50%
2. River 50%
3. Stars 50%
4. Selfish 57%
5. Miss you, but smile 63%
6. The Good (obviously) 67%
7. Love (duh) 70%
8. Home 73%
9. The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums. 75%
10. The trumpet 77%
11. The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other. 79%
12. The small tortoiseshell box 80%
13. Student records; perfected cure then mysterious handwritten book. 81%
14. Hunger cold or loneliness 78%
15. Liked 79%
16. The power of superhuman strength 78%
17. All about magical creatures. 79%
18. Merpeople, werewolves and trolls 77%
19. Suggest drawing lots 78%
20. Lie and say you don’t know. 78%
21. Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor. 79%
22. Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are. 80%
23. The wide, sunny, grassy lane 81%
24. Proceed with caution... 81%
25. Common, Natterjack or Harlequin toad 81%
26. White 79%
27. Heads 78%
28. Right 76%
And those are the Hufflepuff answers
Last but not least Gryffindor!
1. Dawn 50%
2. Forest 50%
3. Stars 50%
4. Cowardly 57%
5. Ask for more stories about your adventures 63%
6. The Bold (obviously) 67%
7. Glory (duh) 70%
8. A crackling log fire 73%
9. The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room. 75%
10. The drum 77%
11. The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye. 79%
12. The small pewter box 80%
13. First nearly perfected cure, mysterious book and then student records. 81%
14. Loneliness and boredom 78%
15. Praised 77%
16. The power of invisibility 76%
17. Secrets about the castle. 77%
18. Centaurs, werewolves and ghosts 75%
19. Volunteer to fight? 76%
20. Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate. 77%
21. Agree and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing 78%
22. An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked. 79%
23. The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods 79%
24. Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise? 80%
25. Tabby cat or dragon toad 79%
26. Black 77%
27. Tails 76%
28. Right 74%
And that is Gryffindor!
There is the most like answers for whatever house! Hope this information is useful of interesting.
Okay scroll on.
Gryffindor: *kicks the “G” off of the “Graveyard” sign* Yeah, Let’s get this party started!
Ravenclaw and Slytherin: Wow.
House shenanigans
Ravenclaw: Norweiga 👏 is 👏 not 👏 a 👏 country!
Gryffindor: cowering under a desk Where are Norwegian people from then!?
Slytherin: recording NORWAY!
House shenanigans
Gryffindor: unbuttoning shirt God it’s so hot in here!
Hufflepuff: Yeah...But, why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
House Vines
Hufflepuff performing stand up comedy
Hufflepuff: So, I’ve got a drinking problem.
Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: light chuckles
Hufflepuff: I’m not old enough to drink, that’s the problem.
Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: all whooping and cheering
House Vines
Gryffindor walks into class
Slytherin: Aww fuck! See I thought I was gonna have a happy day at school, but then you walked in.
Ravenclaw: What did gryffindor do?
Slytherin: Bitch go and exist.
Gryffindor:...
Ravenclaw: turns to gryffindor Why would you do that?
House Vines
Gryffindor prefect relaxing in the tub late at night in the prefect’s bathroom.
Ravenclaw prefect: in a lifeguard uniform sitting on the edge of the tub, sexily. I see you don’t have a lifeguard here at your beach.
Gryffindor prefect: physically confused
Raveclaw prefect: acting sexy
Gryffindor prefect: I’m not at the beach-this is a bathtub.
House shenanigans
Ravenclaw: Slytherin, someone’s been kidnapped!
Slytherin: I swear to god if it’s Gryffindor-
Ravenclaw: It’s Gryffindor.
Slytherin: SoN oF a BiTcH!
House Vines
Gryffindor standing on the edge of one of the buildings in hogsmeade getting ready to jump.
Slytherin: unenthusiastically Don’t kill yourself.
Gryffindor: Planking on the edge I might!
Slytherin: still unenthusiastically while trying to grab griffindor Don’t kill yourself.
Gryffindor: Hanging upside down from the edge I might!
Slytherin: whilst pulling gryffindor by their feet That’ll ruin the trip, dude.
House Vines
At slytherins birthday party
Gryffindor: walking up to slytherin with a gift Happy birthday biiitch!
Slytherin: So you just bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?
Gryffindor: Happy birthday?
Slytherin: smashes glass on gryffindor’s head
House Vines
Ravenclaw: Buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonald’s.
Gryffindor: We going to McDonald’s if I don’t do my work!?
Ravenclaw: No!
House shenanigans
Hufflepuff: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Slytherin:
Gryffindor:
Ravenclaw:
Gryffindor: I’m gonna to tell them.
Literally everybody: DON’T YOU DARE!!
What’s heavier?
Gryffindor: Got a question for you. What’s heavier? A kilogram of steel? Or a kilogram of feathers?
Time ticks
Gryffindor: That’s right. It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.
Gryffindor’s Show!
Gryffindor: What do you mean?
Slytherin: They’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor: But steel is heavier than feathers...
Slytherin: Heh. I know, but they’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor:...Wha?
Gryffindor’s Show!
A scale holding both a kilogram of feathers and steel stands before gryffindor. The scale is balanced.
Gryffindor: That doesn’t prove anything, because steel is heavier than feathers.
Hufflepuff: I know, but look. They’re both a kilogram. Right? So they’re the same.
Gryffindor: Ok, but look at the size of this. *points to the huge bag of feathers* That’s cheating!
Slytherin: *laughs* No, they’re the same weight!
Hufflepuff: *also laughing* it’s a kilogram!
Gryffindor: But steels heavier than feathers...
Gryffindor’s Show!
Ravenclaw examining the scale.
Ravenclaw: They’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor: Oh no...oh, no, you, ah...no...
Hufflepuff: You alright?
Gryffindor: *sadly* I don’t get it.
Slytherin: Sorry...
Ravenclaw: Yeah...Don’t worry about it!
House Vines
Muggle Hufflepuff: *sitting in car in front of a Wendys with Gryfindor, who is recording Hufflepuff* Is Wendy working today? *faces the camera smiling*
Muggle Gryfindor: Bruh, you didn’t roll your window down.
Muggle Hufflepuff: Wha?
Muggle Hufflepuff: Is Wendy working today? *once again faces Gryfindor’s camera smiling*
Muggle Gryfindor: I think they’re closed.
Muggle Hufflepuff: Yeah me too.
Muggle Hufflepuff: Hey, is Wendy working today?
Muggle Gryfindor: Dude I think we’re at Taco Bell-
Muggle Hufflepuff: *tears in eyes* WhAt hOw!?
House Vines
Gryfindor: *checking under Hufflepuff’s bed* No monsters under your bed.
Hufflepuff: I know...They’re behind you now.
Gryfindor:
Hufflepuff:
Gryfindor: What?
House Vines
Hufflepuff: What do we want?
Gryfindor: Weed!
Hufflepuff: When do we want it?
Gryfindor: Weed!
Hufflepuff: I already said that.
Gryfindor: What do we want?
Hufflepuff: Weed!-I’m confused.
House Vines
Slytherin: *to literally everybody else* ThE BaGs uNdEr My eYeS ArE PRADA.
Slytherin: *Laughs menacingly*
Gryfindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff:...
Slytherin: Kill your family.
House Vines
Gryfindor: What did you get in your happy meal?
Hufflepuff: Chapstick, what’d you get?
Gryfindor: A new SKATEBOARD!
Hufflepuff: Wha-
Gryfindor: *while skating away* LATER PUSSY!
House Vines
Slytherin: I should’ve left you on that street corner where you were standing.
Gryfindor: *intense pause*
Gryfindor: But ch’ya didnt!
House Vines
*eerie violin music playing*
Slytherin: Hello Gryffindor.
Gryffindor: Hi Slytherin.
Slytherin: *looks down*
Slytherin: Those shoes look familiar. *smiles coldly*
House Vines
Ravenclaw: *staring at Gryffindor*
Gryffindor: *looks at Ravenclaw*
Ravenclaw:
Gryffindor:
Gryffindor: THE HELL YOU STARING AT!?
Ravenclaw: The spider.
Gryffindor: The spider?-*Notices spider a their head* OH GOD!
Ravenclaw: Damn.
House Vines
Gryffindors mother: Well Professor Mcgonagall, my daughter would not do something such a thing therefore after.
Gryffindor mother: *whispering harshly to Gryffindor* Gryffindor did you fucking do that thing therefore after?
House Vines
Ravenclaw: Why didn’t you tell me that you are a werewolf!?
Gryffindor: On our first date I said I was a “dog person”.
Ravenclaw:
Gryffindor:
Ravenclaw: Man you’re right.
House Vines
Gryffindor: I’m not gonna convresate with you. I’m not gonna invest time-
Slytherin: *stirring tea* I think it’s converse.
Gryffindor: Huh?
Slytherin: Just say talk. *sips tea*
House Vines
Gryffindor: *plays flute*
Hufflepuff: Look! It’s a snake charmer!
Gryffindor: Ey yo snake!
Slytherin: *pauses and whips around*
Gryffindor: You cute as hell.
Slytherin: *blushes* Ssssstop.
House Vines
Voldemort: I don’t understand why you’re mad at me.
Harry: You killed my mom!
Voldemort: Yeah, but then I said “April fools”
Harry: *laughing* Dude!
Voldemort: *also laughing* I got you good!
Harry: You did!
House Vines
Gryffindor: *holding a “Yuleball?” Sign*
Hufflepuff: Oh! Oh my god! Yes!
Gryffindor: N-no! Tell Ravenclaw!
Hufflepuff: Okay. *whips around to where raven claw is sitting*
Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw! I’m going to the Yuleball with your boyfriend Gryffindor!
House Vines
Gryffindor: When you drink too much orange juice-
Slytherin: Hey I’m looking for Ravenclaw.
Gryffindor:...I don’t know who Ravenclaw is-
Ravenclaw: That’s me. Hey Slytherin!
Gryffindor:
Slytherin: Hey man, what’s up?
Ravenclaw: Just hanging out.
House Vines
Ravenclaw: Now that I’ve explained the answer for 10 minuets, do you understand the problem Gryffindor?
Gryffindor: Yes.
Ravenclaw: Are you lying to me?
Gryffindor: *tears in eyes* YeS.
House Vines
Muggle born Gryffindor: My mom said if I don’t get my grades up, she’s not gonna let me get my tetanus shot next year.
Hufflepuff: That’s weird..what are you gonna do?
Muggle born Gryffindor: Fucking study I guess.