You Don't Just Bite Into Lemons???

I’m a cis boy and I’m constantly eggbaiting hot trans people online and irl.

I slip little calculated comments into conversation that make me seem like a repressed girl, or let out wistful little sighs at strategic moments.

I know I’m evil but this is the only way girls want to top me.

this is the most egg thing I have ever heard in my life

Hehe hoho

Blood loss? No I know exactly where it is

Red Fox (Vulpes vulpes)

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read that post blacked out and woke up with this on my computer. crazy. stay safe out there everyone

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

*tugs you around by our red string of fate like you’re a dog on a leash*

I adore trans women’s voices. Every single one of them. Doesn’t matter if they’ve trained for years or if they’re just starting, whether their voice is soft and lilting, deep and sultry, or something beautifully in between—I love them all. Maybe it’s instinct, like a subconscious comfort in hearing voices that reflect my own, voices that remind me I’m not alone. That we’re not alone. That our voices—however they sound—carry the weight of something powerful, something real, something ours.

And gods, don’t even get me started on how absolutely intoxicating trans girl voices are when they whimper and whine—or when they drop into something low and breathy, thick with heat and need. That perfect mix of softness and hunger, gasps and moans that send a shiver down my spine, a voice cracking on a desperate plea, a husky growl in my ear as she presses me down, fuck.

I don’t know, I just really love trans girl voices, no matter what. :3 Its why I so desperately love T4T also thanks for indulging me in my ramblings. Have a wonderful, gay little day. I love you. 💖