Theaccidentseason - “Or Maybe I Was Just A Girl, Interrupted”

"Should I kill myself or have a cup of coffee?"

An hour of chaos in my mind before back to nothingness 💖

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

why are you giving up when the only thing you’ve ever wanted is to be skinny

Quake (1996)

if home is where the heart is, I can confidently say that I am homeless.

Random vent, but I hate the way BPD is romanticised in the media.

Babe, it is not something to romanticise, it isn’t a trendy hard-shelled girl in a horror movie, or a sarcastic depressed teen in a coming of age series.

It is anger. It is a rage that fills your body to the point where you can’t hear yourself over your heart beating at the pace of a Metallica drum solo.

It is trying to keep it together over and over, and falling apart over something as simple as your shirt getting caught on a door handle.

It is hitting yourself in the head out of anger. It is ripping up clothes, it is punching the nearest thing to you, it is tears falling down your cheeks while you scream out of rage.

It is numb. It is sitting in the same position for hours because there’s no point in getting up. It is boredom and tunnel vision. It is being trapped behind a screen in your mind, watching your life fly past, nothing feeling real.

It is abusing substances to feel something other than nothing. Something other than anger. A fleeting moment of euphoria and ego boost.

It is pushing everyone away, and going silent. It is pulling everyone back in with love bombs the second you feel like they’re going to leave you.

It is compulsive lies, even over little things. It is defending yourself even when you know you’re in the wrong. It is crying during a fight to turn the situation around, turning yourself into the victim, making endless excuses.

It is knowing all of these horrible things are a part of your personality. Knowing that what you hate the most about yourself, is stuck with you.

It’s not romantic, it’s not cinematic, it’s not poetic. I wish it was, but it’s not.