So How Do They Make That?

Celestial Ceilings

Some day I want to see a sci-fi production where the Nerd spouts twenty seconds of impenetrable technobabble, and the Salt-of-the-Earth Audience Identification Character is just like “well, shoot – it sounds obvious when you put it that way”, and proceeds with the plan without ever demanding a plain English explanation for the benefit of the audience.

i have never met an unpsychotic person who knows what it actually means to “not encourage the delusion” …not a single one

like there’s this whole thing in this book about how your brain grows stronger and healthier by practicing responding to stress in healthy ways,

because if a stressor is predictable and you feel a sense of control over it, you habituate and stop reacting to it,

but if it’s random and unpredictable you have the opposite response and become sensitized, so your reaction actually gets more and more extreme.

(if you hear a loud noise at predictable intervals you’ll soon stop noticing or reacting, but if you hear it at random intervals you’ll become sensitive to it and anxious.)

so one way to help people who have adverse reactions to reminders of trauma is to give them control over how they’re reminded of the trauma,

because it helps the brain practice responding to stress in a safe way so you can habituate to the stress response.

which is why if someone tags something for a trigger and you still choose to look,

it’s actually an act of healthy resistance against your reaction to that trigger (because it teaches your brain to habituate),

but encountering something triggering in a random and unpredictable way actually increases your stress response and makes you more sensitive to the trigger.

so people who are against trigger warnings because “you have to learn to cope” are actually taking away your tools for learning to cope,

because encountering stressors in a way that further strips you of control over your trauma is never, ever helpful.

it’s a lot of stuff i kind of knew but integrated and explained with more context and science

Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.

C.S. Lewis (via beinchargeofyourlife)

What do the Gods care. They breathe aether not air. They drink ambrosia not water. Their blood is ichor and immortal whilst ours is rusting, slow rotting iron. But here’s what they do not want you to know. Without our prayers and tributes, their mighty Olympus turns into just another ruin. Their aether grows polluted with unrest and darkness. Their ambrosia bitters and their immortality begins to feel like a burden. Ask a God to name his weaknesses. If he is honest, he will tell you they wear mortal skin and go by names like yours.

Nikita Gill, Even The Gods Have Weaknesses

it strikes me as somewhat uncomfortable that so many people focus on asian stories only after the events of the past couple of days. people dm me for the first time in months and asian creators get spotlighted (which is lovely), and yet it feels so performative. why? because so many of these ppl dming me and whatnot have never been interested in interacting diverse content or speaking out about the stories of poc—it’s like they’re doing this to solely gain brownie points. in a few months’ time, they won’t be doing all this anymore. they’ll go back to their silence, to not caring about asian creators. that’s what makes it performative. the stories of asian people shouldn’t be heard and spread only when they’ve been murdered and/or when their pain finally makes it onto news headlines.

Tips for working with children?

1. Don't lie to them if you can avoid it. Water down truths at your discretion, but if you try to lie outright, a good number of them are probably going to pick up on your weird energy and figure you're hiding something. This will very likely come off as "adult who doesn't think we're real people", which is how you promote rebellion.

2. Listen to the problems they come to you with. Imagine they were your problems. If Brůnden at work stole all your pens and ignored your requests to leave you be, you'd be pretty pissed if your manager told you to "just use your nice words" or "let him get bored". Decide what you would want an adult to do, and form a reasonable response.

3. Let some of your weird (child appropriate) interests show. Odds are, when they see your passion, they'll take interest. I accidentally wound up teaching an intro to animal biology to a group of first graders in my after school program this way, and it became what they knew me for. Great for bonding, teaching, and bartering for completed chores.

4. Learn about things they're interested in, but don't force it into things. It'll help you understand what you overhear, and pitch in at the right moment.

5. Treats and stickers. They work on adults, and they work on kids. Make them take a little bit of effort to earn, but also pick special occasions where everyone gets one free. Once you get a better idea of their personalities, lives, strengths, and weaknesses, you can tailor this for personal growth.

6. Acknowledge their feelings. Verbally affirm that they are upset, they are frustrated, they are angry or sad, and encourage them to explain why, and work to find acceptable solutions. Staying perfectly calm and happy while they're angry might help to a point, but ignoring their obvious feelings will make them feel that you don't care or understand, which will make things worse. A lot of kids have a hard time figuring out how adults feel, and why, so empathy will need to be clearer.

7. Play with them on their own level. When you play a game they started on their own, follow their rules, and if you can't, explain why. Expect a few of them to try and mess with you. You're not as distant or alien if you can fall for the same things they do, or admit when you've been outsmarted or outclassed. Be aware that some rules may change at random, and don't go all out on winning.

8. Be honest in ways other adults won't be. When telling a personal story, mention offhand that you didn't like someone, or someone was mean for no reason, or another adult was rude or broke rules, they'll see that you think and feel in similar ways as them, and it can reinforce that yeah, sometimes life is unfair, no, growing up doesn't numb your personality, and no, you don't have to feel happy and positive and pleasant all the time. Sometimes things just suck, and you need to handle it maturely. It's acting on bad feelings that's bad, not the bad feelings themselves. And hey, sometimes adults ARE mean or rude or wrong! They're not crazy or dumb when they notice!

9. Literally just be yourself. Curb any cursing or inappropriate subject matter, but otherwise, they'll recognize that you're an individual with your own personality, and either they'll like you or they won't. Either way, they'll decide how to act from there. Kids are mostly just distilled adults with social restrictions, they can adapt to a lot.