Thedearladydisdain - Thedearladydisdain

here's some more unsolicited adult advice as someone in her 30s who knows there are a lot of twenty somethings and teens that follow her: if you're trying to build a new habit you really want, and are struggling, you have to break it down to the smallest building block possible. If you're failing, you haven't thought small enough. I know it's possible to hear stories of people who just snapped into new life mode one day by "just deciding", but truly what's happening there is a confluence of events and experiences that force the brain into some sort of epiphany. You cannot will an epiphany. It'll never work. For most times of your life, you will need to build habits intentionally, and that means not working against yourself and to set micro goals. like laughably tiny goals. because once that easy tiny goal is met, you can build off it, tiny goal after tiny goal until you reach your big goal.

so for example, if you want to be a morning person that gets up at ass crack dawn so that you can work out, eat brekkie, shower, and get to work at a leisurely pace, and you're not that person because you will hit your snooze button 800 times, you have to get the big picture goal out of your head. think smaller. "I want to get up 15 minutes earlier than I normally do." If you can't do that, make it 5 minutes. "I want to cook breakfast every day" hell no too big. "I want to eat something, anything, before I leave the house" hell yeah, fantastic. When you go to the grocery store to make sure there are things in the house for breakfast, if you keep buying bagels and microwave sandwiches that you ignore, you gotta think smaller. SMALLER. What's something so easy to eat that you'll never say no to. Is it a yogurt? Is it a handful of grapes? Is it a hostess ho ho? is it hot cheetos? FORGET the big picture of the fantasy put-together woman preparing a full nutritious meal that you'd be proud to admit to. Think only of the smallest goal you can achieve. If you know you can't say no to an ice cream sandwich, put a ton of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer and have one for breakfast every day until it's so instilled in you that you gotta get up to eat something you can start diversifying.

It sounds like, from the lack of habit place, that must take forever. But really it doesn't take too long to form the habit once the discipline kicks in. the trick is that you have to give your brain something easy to become disciplined to. If it's too hard, think easier and smaller. No one has to know. Literally no one in the gd world has to know that for 4 weeks when you were 22 you had an ice cream sandwich for breakfast every day. who cares. If it gets you eating oatmeal with fresh fruit in a few months who cares. you did it, yay. smaller, easier. if you can't do it, think smaller and easier. smaller!! EASIER!!! You are not thinking smaller and easier enough. break your brain thinking how small and easy you can go. SMALLER. EVEN SMALLER, SIS.

Nothing is more unattractive to me than feigned helplessness, I see people on here say "I was never taught X" and I just think... learn now then.

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

“the most confident women i know are women with short natural nails”

reminds me of that one video that went viral recently where the woman was saying something along the lines of “i only take advice from women who have a full bush” and it’s crazy that most of the comments tend to agree but only a few are pinpointing why that might be. like hmm… i wonder what it is about a woman who doesn’t adhere to unnecessary beauty standards and simply lives in her life in natural body without wasting the mental/physical/emotional energy it takes to endlessly spend money on hair removal nails makeup etc and WHY it makes her more confident in her body as a dignified human being

i wonder what it is!

If you’re having trouble with knowing what’s truly empowering for women just ask yourself these questions.

- Does this benefit men in any way?

- Is it something that’s forced onto women by the patriarchy?

- Are you confusing being empowered with personal enjoyment?

- Does this give women any real social, economic, political power as a class?

- Does this endanger a woman’s safety, mental health, and or comfort?

- Does it challenge the patriarchy?

checked out a copy of TRANS by Helen Joyce from my library but a TRA got to it before me lol

painful irony in calling the claim that gender ideology erases women “bad faith” while simultaneously having so little respect for female voices that you wrote over a female authors words in a public library book 😭😭

Happy international Harry Potter day!!!

logically I know pussy isn't supposed to come in fruity flavors but emotionally mine would taste like strawberries & cream dr pepper

I simply cannot take these men seriously, mostly because I have been big into fandom/fanfiction at various points in my life and alpha/beta/omega has a very different meaning in fandom terms 🤣🤣🤣

This is the conservative male version of neogenders. A bunch of weirdos got addicted to the internet and started calling themselves "omega males" as if that means something. It's their version of saying "I am a fem-aligned non-binary genderfuck who goes by he/she/its pronouns." It's amazing how different communities mirror each other even though they appear to be complete opposites at first glance.