My Thoughts On Certain Val Ships

Could I beat the valorant agents in chess boxing?

Ok in chess boxing you do 6 round of chess and 5 of boxing, chess rounds last 4 mins and boxing round last 3. Now heres my thoughts on what characters i could take in chess boxing.

Astra

Astra presides over most if not all of time and space so she’d mostly definitely have a leg up in the chess department. As for the boxing I think she’d wipe the fucking floor with me, the woman has a metal arm and I am very frightened always

Breach

I think Breach is like quite a smart guy but i don’t think he knows chess (tbf i dont really either) so i’d try to get the upper hand in chess hopefully winning quickly so I do not get obliterated by an angry swede

Brimstone

Once again Brim is smart but not chess smart so I’d feel alright about taking him in chess but in boxing???? no thanks, this man has arms the size of my head and i’d rather my bones stay intact

Chamber

Chamber seems like the type of asshole to enjoy chess so I’m just gonna cut my losses there boxing on the other hand, I feel like my hatred for france alone would carry my through the boxing session. (for a little context I am very very british and therefore am natural enemies w/ the french). Also please consider he’s lanky as fuck like i could kick him in the knees and he’d be down

Cypher

Right we already know im not winning against cypher in chess, it is what it is. Im gonna keep this part short and sweet but I would kick this mans ass, he’s hardly taller than me and i’m a god damn brawler. I am winning against this man no matter what.

Deadlock

Hot take but I think I could probably win against her in chess. In boxing I am dead, she fought a bear and won, she has a fucking metal arm, I just think she’d be good at fighting.

Fade

Once again gonna keep this short, chess im pretty sure theres no chance there. Boxing I would absolutely win, for one we are close to/if not the same height so that puts us on even ground, and two, you cannot tell me Fade lives off anything other than quick meals and coffee. I am winning 100%

Gekko

I would absolutely beat Gekko in chess boxing no I will not answer questions.

Harbor

I think with Harbor the chess portion is gonna be a 50/50 and will just depend on the game itself. With boxing just no. I refuse. Here is another character with arms the size of my head. Also he’s like 5′9 or smth so no I will not be challenging him to chess boxing anytime soon.

Jett

Easy, chess is a for sure win boxing is a lot more 50/50 overall but I’m pretty sure I could win

Kay/0

No. Just no. He’s a robot no one is beating him in chess. And no I can’t win in boxing his name is literally K/O  and he is a robot in what world would he not end my entire bloodline

Only did half the agents cus I am lazy but I may make a follow up

I would love to whack overwatch hero Hanzo Shimada like a pinata

like to whack hanzo like a piñata. reblog to whack hanzo like a piñata. ignore to whack hanzo like a piñata.

OFFICIAL ART NANOBOMB IS CANON IM SO SERIOUS OMG

FINALLY GOT DEADLOCK I AM GOING TO CRY I LOVE HER

They’re wives your honor

fuck being a normal member of society I am going to start rot posting

Sova headcannons because i love him

GUYS PLS SOVA'S REAL EYE IS BLUE WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK ITS BROWN (i wrote this b4 the sunset cinematic why tf is it brown in that i am so confused)

Sova complains non-fucking-stop when ever it's warm, like the slightest bit of humidity and he will be grumpy all day.

He's too polite to ask Brim not to send him on missions in Bind so whenever he's out there he is miserable.

Whenever he's on missions on icebox he'll throw snowballs at people and then pretend he didn't and no one thinks it's him.

He gives older brother vibes and no i will not be accepting criticism.

Phoenix and Jett annoyed him into teaching them Russian swear words.

Once forgot a word for something in Russian and had a slight identity crisis

Is really really good at braiding hair

Manspreads constantly whenever he sits down

The other agents tease him relentlessly about it

Several of the other agents (including Brimstone) believe he's fought a bear before and he hasn't bothered to correct them

He's a sweetheart most of the time but he can also be a bitch.

Him and Sage have a book club.

Can speak Russian, English and some Turkish (as a result of trying to find Fade) but can understand several Slavic languages.

Refused to take time off when he's sick "in my homeland it was far colder than this and i was never sick" only to act like he's dying later on.

Deadlock sometimes gives him funny looks when she see's him across base and he'll just yell back "It was only a thumb" or "deadlock it was one time" and all the other agents think it's hilarious.

Valorant HCs lets go

I found a whole collection of these in my notes app so heres more of my ramblings

Sage is really good at sudoku

Jett and Phoenix somehow convinced Omen that he’s an octopus

Viper had to reassure Omen that he is in fact not an octopus

Raze is a really good cook but lacks any patience for it 

Cypher leaves little presents in front of the agents rooms on their birthdays

No one told Cypher their birthday he just knows

Viper has built up immunity to several poisons

When Gekko fell asleep after playing games Brim made sure to throw a blanket over him

Gekko also once called Brim a GOAT and just laughed when Brim got confused

Chamber gets mocked a lot for being French (rightly so) and even Sage finds it too funny to make anyone stop

Jett has used her powers to catch birds before

Yoru is trans (my reasoning: i am trans nd i think he’s neat)

Sage taught herself a lot about medicine and now everyone in the protocol assumes she’s been to medical school

Skye and Deadlock go birdwatching together during their hikes

Christmas really isn’t a big deal in the protocol but they’ll have a slightly nicer meal to somewhat celebrate

Most/all of the agents have special things they’ll do for their own cultures holidays and celebrations

Valorant sexuality nd gender hc’s

I’ve have so many thoughts abt val characters gender istg

(also maybe don’t take this too seriously)

Astra:

Straight but the biggest ally you’ll ever meet

(She/Her)

Breach:

Angry gay

Very cis

Kind of the cool gay uncle

Raze came out to him and he just sat there like??

Breach: Lesbian? I thought you were Portuguese 

Raze: ...Breach I’m Brazilian 

Brimstone:

KJ came out to him and it went smth like:

KJ: Brim i’m gay

Brimstone: Hi gay im brimstone

Straight but he’s for the gays

His pronouns are U/S/A (eagle screech plays in background)

Chamber:

Queer and homophobic in a way only Europeans can be

Cypher:

Bisexual perhaps with a side of genderqueer

Deadlock:

Women lover

A she/they

Would cry over beautiful women

Fade:

They are so nonbinary 

They/She/He Fade is so real to me

Also a women enjoyer just isn’t a fan of labels

Ace spec fr

Gekko:

Green hair nd pronouns

Bisexual

Harbor:

No one really knows???

He’s either very supportive of his bros or is somewhat fruity

Him nd Astra kinda goals ngl

Jett:

Bisexual

Women?

Kay/o:

My boy is made of 1′s nd 0′s i do not think he could care less

Killjoy:

Lesbian

Her gender is science

Neon:

Pansexual

Blue hair nd pronouns fr

My little silly

Omen:

The voices

Phoenix:

I told a friend of mine (who doesnt play val) that phoenix has two mums and she just looked at him and said “he looks like the type” ????

Bisexual but scared of women

Raze:

The biggest women lover 

gender is whats in your pants??? alright *pulls out several explosives*

Reyna:

Lesbian

Men anti 

Sage:

Trans, cottagecore lesbian

Mother???

Skye:

Aro Ace as fuck bro

Sex?? Romance?? nah mate the forest

Her nd dealock r in a queer platonic relationship 

Sova:

*Rubs my hands together evily*

Trans, gay Sova

You can pry this hc from my cold body

Viper:

Transfem

Straight but still anti men

Yoru:

Trans

Homophobic homosexual ngl

Phoenix tries to show any affection nd hes just like >:0 thats gay

Bonus:

Ruben pontes nd Oran McEneff:

Both gay

My actual OTP

I get sad when I think abt them

I love seeing people look for ppl to play val with LIKE YES PLS I NEED MORE VAL FRIENDS