Manipulation Tactics In Apologies

Manipulation tactics in apologies

So, this is half writing advice, half life advice.

We all need to be able to recognize when an apology is manipulative, on both a large and small scale. I think we're all aware of the most recent large apology. Quite a few of these apply to that.

But also, feel free to use this as writing advice, too.

Not all of these are necessarily manipulative on their own. If you have apologized to someone for a mistake and done any of these, it doesn't mean you were trying to manipulate them. A lot of these can be completely unintentional. But, put more of them together and take them to more of an extreme, and then you begin to have a problem.

Third person. Especially in reference to the past, using third person to refer to yourself in an apology is a form of detachment. It's dodging the mistake and shifting the blame onto a false 'past self' to avoid taking responsibility.

Hyperbolic self hate. In a casual apology, a little self pity isn't out of place. If you're usually self deprecating, it's normal. It becomes dangerous when it's less like "sorry, I suck at remembering times", and more like "I'm a horrible person, I'm so stupid and terrible and cruel-".

Hyperbolic consequences. On the same note, it's also manipulative to say "I should die/be hurt/be abandoned". It's forcing the listener to feel guilty and feel as if they have caused feelings of depression.

Blaming, not explaining. Often, when apologizing, we want to explain why we may have done something wrong. That's normal! But a good apology should make the other person understand why you made the mistake, not tell them that you didn't make the mistake because you couldn't control it. This is also a form of guilt tripping.

Selective addressing. This one applies to if the apology is for more than one issue. A manipulator may fully address one point, but disregard or gloss over another, then use this to pretend that they fully addressed both, or that they don't need to apologize more than once.

Forced relatability. To make someone feel bad for them, a manipulator may place blame on things the listener can relate to going through, or has sympathy for. This makes them feel as if they cannot criticize them without acting as a hypocrite, or insensitive.

Gaslighting. I'm sure you all know how this one works, but it isn't always "that didn't happen"- it can be "that wasn't as bad as you say", or "you didn't get that it was a joke?". It twists reality to downplay events.

Strawman/subject changing. These are together because they function the same way. A strawman is a falsified or exaggerated arguement that can be easily disproved, and usually has nothing to do with the topic at hand. This can make it seem like the situation has been addressed, and demonizes the victim.

Triangulation. This is when another person is involved in an arguement, usually by the manipulator. This can be to make the victim jealous, focus their attention on the other person, or force them to side with their abuser in disliking them. There is little to no communication between the victim and the added person, and can be used in apologies to shift blame or distract from the issue.

Love-bombing. Less of an apology, and more of a substitute for one. Instead of owning up to their actions, a manipulator may shower the victim with affection and praise, attempting to create a sense of loyalty or a feeling that they can't be as bad as perceived.

That's all I'll get into, but there are far more than I've listed. If you think you're being manipulated, I urge you to research further.

More Posts from Thedemoninthecorner and Others

4 years ago

Masterpost: How to write a story?

Compilation of writing advice for some aspects of the writing process.

How to motivate myself to write more

How to get rid of writer’s block

Basic Overview: How to write a story

How to create a character

How to make a character unique

How to write conversation

Introducing a group of characters

Large cast of characters interacting in one scene

Redemption arc

Plot twists

How to write a summary

How to write romance

How to write emotional scenes

How to write yelling

Fatal Character Flaws

How to use songs in a fanfiction

Good traits gone bad

More specific scenarios

Slow burn

How to create quick chemistry

How to write a bilingual character

How to write a polyamorous realtionship

How to create and write a cult

Criminal past comes to light

Reasons for breaking up while still loving each other

Forbidden love

Date gone wrong

Causes for the apocalypse

How to create a coffee shop atmosphere

How to write enemies to lovers

How to write lovers to enemies to lovers

Arranged matrimony for royalty

Paramilitary Forces/ Militia

Honeymoon

Academic Rivals to Lovers

How to write amnesia

AU ideas

Favourite tropes

Inconvenient things a ghost could do

Milestones in a relationship

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee! 

4 years ago

The more I think about it the more I realise that no ancient civilization would be at all interested in taming dragons.

Dragons are carnivores, so they’re really inefficient and costly to feed. They’re solitary, so its really frigging hard to form any kind of relationship with them. They’re darn right dangerous, so why risk your life taming one when there’s loads of llamas in the world. And worst of all their life spans are insanely long; if you had an opportunity to breed one, you wouldn’t live long enough to see the fruit of your labour mature, so you wouldn’t even bother.

11 months ago

May Writing Challenge

May Writing Challenge

This May I want to get back into writing. I’m not at all consistent. I’m at a point where I don’t feel like I can work on bigger things, because I can’t guarantee myself to keep working on it in a week from now. So I will take this month as a training month to get back into the habit of writing. I will do this by writing (or trying to write) 200 words every day. Topic is irrelevant. How great my writing is that day is irrelevant. Just 200 words written down. A habit taking 21 days to form was debunked, it does take a lot longer, but 31 days are a start I would say. These are already 140 words, so 200 words every day are hopefully manageable. You're more than welcome to join me if you like 😊

5 years ago

no, that’s a mandrake. The Mandalorian was an equal rights activist who was assassinated in the ‘60s.

the mandalorian? isn’t that bitch the powerhouse of the cell?

4 years ago

Tropes to die for

Best friends to lovers

Evil character becomes good

Character become brainwashed and forced to fight their friends

More about a character is revealed after their death

Misunderstood character’s backstory is revealed that explains everything

Goofy cinnamon roll is actually the baddest badass

Stoic character A has a soft spot for character B

Chaotic/comedic duo/trio

“Mean girl” is actually cool and becomes best friends with main girl

Traitor was actually on the good side all along

Powerless character finally reveals secret powers that have been foreshadowed all along

Any epiphany or eureka moment

Former hero slowly descends into madness and darkness

Character A reveals feelings for character B when character B is extremely hurt or upset

Former enemies forgive/accept each other

Any more tropes? Please add on!

~Raebelle

4 years ago

things fictional couples do that make me lose my mind + writing prompts

taking each other’s hands during a stressful situation, instantly reliveing the pressure of the situation

smiling in-between kisses

during a hug, one of them pulls the other closer, followed by the other one nudging their head into the crook of their lover’s neck

forehead kisses

they’re in bed, one of them’s like “it’s time to get up” and their lover pulls them back down, wraps their hands around their body, snuggles up close, preventing the other one from getting out of bed

forehead kisses but it’s the male being kissed on the head

dancing together, one of them takes the other’s hand, kisses it

saying “i love you” completely randomly

bantering, judging each other but in a way that’s like, what you’re doing right now, is really stupid, but you’re adorable and i can’t help but love you

when one of them is like… i don’t know… hurt or something… and the other one is just like… tending to their wounds… and then just like… wrap them into their arms… thankful that they’re alive…

when one of them is hurt by the antagonist… and their lover goes… absolutely ballistic and does everything in their power to get to the person they love, to the point in which the antagonist and it’s crew have to physically restrain them… and it still doesn’t stop them… they jsut keep kicking… doesn’t matter what happens to them… doesn’t matter if they get beaten in the process… as long as their lover is safe…

when they haven’t seen each other for a while (bonus point if they’re not sure the other one is alive) and all this time they’ve been trying to stay strong, but when they reunite, they crash into each other’s arms, and completely breakdown…

“i’m not worthy of anybody’s love.” “that’s not true, you’re worthy of mine.” followed by the lover breaking eye-contact… + a love confession

when one of them has never had a proper birthday party for whatever reason, and their lover makes it their mission to give them the best day ever, followed by “you didn’t have to do all this for me. just being with you is enough.” “i know. but i thought you deserved ?’’ and their lover smiles, a kiss is shared

one of them being like… i’m totally getting off track here, but you’re like, really hot so i’m going to pick you up and throw you on the bed, followed by their lover smacking them on their head (gently) because they have important things to do

’‘you shouldn’t be here.” “i had to make sure you were okay.” silence. “can i come in?” more silence. you decide. angst or happy ending?

when they’re forced apart, and they get to say goodbye, and they cry, share a last kiss, holding hands until the very end, until they’re so far apart they have to let go…

any form of physical intimacy ever

one of them resting their head on the other’s lap, falling asleep

wearing their lover’s clothes! (also, “can I get my shirt back? ’'no.”)

being jealous! not to the point of it being unhealthy, just a moderate amount of cute jealously, in which their partner just laughs it off and gives them a kiss

a slow burn being like… i’m not in love with them! cut to scene of the person in question staring dreamingly at the object of their desire

when a character is falling in love, and their love interest is making them smile, and they’re flustered, blushing, in such a happy state of mind that they look to the ground, trying to hide their burning red cheeks

banter in which one of them’s like… “i love you” and the other person’s like “ok” and the first one’s like “say it back” and the other one’s just like “no 😝” and the first one gets frustrated because “why wouldn’t you say it back we always say i love you before we leave”

when they’re doing something outside, it’s dark outside, and one of them views something pretty in the sky, like a shooting star, or just the stars in general, and they pull their lover by the hand, all excited to watch the shooting star, and their lover looks at them in pure admiration

when it’s a slow burn, and the characters just look at each other like “fuck it i’m done with this” and kiss

edit: The character thinking “seriously? I love them?!!’’ because somebody reblogged the post saying that and it did something special to my heart


Tags
1 year ago
Saw A Post Like This With Negative Outlook So I Asked For It To Be Fixed

Saw a post like this with negative outlook so I asked for it to be fixed

1 year ago

Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics

Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics

Medicine

A Study In Physical Injury

Comas

Medical Facts And Tips For Your Writing Needs

Broken Bones

Burns

Unconsciousness & Head Trauma

Blood Loss

Stab Wounds

Pain & Shock

All About Mechanical Injuries (Injuries Caused By Violence)

Writing Specific Characters

Portraying a kleptomaniac.

Playing a character with cancer.

How to portray a power driven character.

Playing the manipulative character.

Portraying a character with borderline personality disorder.

Playing a character with Orthorexia Nervosa.

Writing a character who lost someone important.

Playing the bullies.

Portraying the drug dealer.

Playing a rebellious character.

How to portray a sociopath.

How to write characters with PTSD.

Playing characters with memory loss.

Playing a pyromaniac.

How to write a mute character.

How to write a character with an OCD.

How to play a stoner.

Playing a character with an eating disorder.

Portraying a character who is anti-social.

Portraying a character who is depressed.

How to portray someone with dyslexia.

How to portray a character with bipolar disorder.

Portraying a character with severe depression.

How to play a serial killer.

Writing insane characters.

Playing a character under the influence of marijuana.

Tips on writing a drug addict.

How to write a character with HPD.

Writing a character with Nymphomania.

Writing a character with schizophrenia.

Writing a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Writing a character with depression.

Writing a character who suffers from night terrors.

Writing a character with paranoid personality disorder.

How to play a victim of rape.

How to play a mentally ill/insane character.

Writing a character who self-harms.

Writing a character who is high on amphetamines.

How to play the stalker.

How to portray a character high on cocaine.

Playing a character with ADHD.

How to play a sexual assault victim.

Writing a compulsive gambler.

Playing a character who is faking a disorder.

Playing a prisoner.

Portraying an emotionally detached character.

How to play a character with social anxiety.

Portraying a character who is high.

Portraying characters who have secrets.

Portraying a recovering alcoholic.

Portraying a sex addict.

How to play someone creepy.

Portraying sexually/emotionally abused characters.

Playing a character under the influence of drugs.

Playing a character who struggles with Bulimia.

Illegal Activity

Examining Mob Mentality

How Street Gangs Work

Domestic Abuse

Torture

Assault

Murder

Terrorism

Internet Fraud

Cyberwarfare

Computer Viruses

Corporate Crime

Political Corruption

Drug Trafficking

Human Trafficking

Sex Trafficking

Illegal Immigration

Contemporary Slavery 

Black Market Prices & Profits

AK-47 prices on the black market

Bribes

Computer Hackers and Online Fraud

Contract Killing

Exotic Animals

Fake Diplomas

Fake ID Cards, Passports and Other Identity Documents

Human Smuggling Fees

Human Traffickers Prices

Kidney and Organ Trafficking Prices

Prostitution Prices

Cocaine Prices

Ecstasy Pills Prices

Heroin Prices

Marijuana Prices

Meth Prices

Earnings From Illegal Jobs

Countries In Order Of Largest To Smallest Risk

Forensics

arson

Asphyxia

Blood Analysis

Book Review

Cause & Manner of Death

Chemistry/Physics

Computers/Cell Phones/Electronics

Cool & Odd-Mostly Odd

Corpse Identification

Corpse Location

Crime and Science Radio

crime lab

Crime Scene

Cults and Religions

DNA

Document Examination

Fingerprints/Patterned Evidence

Firearms Analysis

Forensic Anthropology

Forensic Art

Forensic Dentistry

Forensic History

Forensic Psychiatry

General Forensics

Guest Blogger

High Tech Forensics

Interesting Cases

Interesting Places

Interviews

Medical History

Medical Issues

Misc

Multiple Murderers

On This Day

Poisons & Drugs

Police Procedure

Q&A

serial killers

Space Program

Stupid Criminals

Theft

Time of Death

Toxicology

Trauma

5 years ago

Yo. I write high fantasy, and I feed off prompts. I have several wips because I can't ever focus on one thing. I rarely post but I plan to post more.

My dash is void of writeblr content, so please interact if you are an active writeblr and I will follow you!

What I'm looking for:

memes

wip content

oc content

I'm interested in most genres except horror/gore

bonus points if you have supernatural/paranormal or sci-fi elements

Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • culturalphillistine
    culturalphillistine reblogged this · 7 months ago
  • culturalphillistine
    culturalphillistine liked this · 7 months ago
  • stuff-of-eternity
    stuff-of-eternity reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • luzho
    luzho liked this · 1 year ago
  • andelium
    andelium liked this · 1 year ago
  • bella-narchy
    bella-narchy liked this · 2 years ago
  • inkysky
    inkysky liked this · 2 years ago
  • druidcore
    druidcore reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • daydreamer-anst
    daydreamer-anst liked this · 2 years ago
  • coochiecurls
    coochiecurls liked this · 2 years ago
  • sicklyglow
    sicklyglow liked this · 2 years ago
  • kidapathy
    kidapathy liked this · 2 years ago
  • jaxuhmillion
    jaxuhmillion liked this · 2 years ago
  • reanar
    reanar reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • sketchyandspook
    sketchyandspook reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • coldstrawberrytrash
    coldstrawberrytrash liked this · 3 years ago
  • levelshoard
    levelshoard liked this · 3 years ago
  • interdimensional-chaos
    interdimensional-chaos reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • fxndom-hoe
    fxndom-hoe reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • fxndom-hoe
    fxndom-hoe liked this · 3 years ago
  • beetroot-merchant
    beetroot-merchant liked this · 3 years ago
  • purpleangelsele
    purpleangelsele liked this · 3 years ago
  • thecherryontopx
    thecherryontopx liked this · 3 years ago
  • lucex
    lucex liked this · 3 years ago
  • hillarithy
    hillarithy liked this · 3 years ago
  • we-stay-silly-yippee
    we-stay-silly-yippee liked this · 3 years ago
  • penforthewin
    penforthewin liked this · 3 years ago
  • jt-greatestfailure
    jt-greatestfailure reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • writinglifestyle23
    writinglifestyle23 liked this · 3 years ago
  • fatenull
    fatenull liked this · 3 years ago
  • angelsnowflake
    angelsnowflake reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • thefortressofarebelsoul
    thefortressofarebelsoul liked this · 3 years ago
  • chainsawgenderfluid
    chainsawgenderfluid reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • majorbruhmoment99
    majorbruhmoment99 liked this · 3 years ago
  • ohvenusxx
    ohvenusxx reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • ohvenusxx
    ohvenusxx liked this · 3 years ago
  • remyl75
    remyl75 reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • celestepens
    celestepens reblogged this · 4 years ago
  • melooandbebe
    melooandbebe liked this · 4 years ago
thedemoninthecorner - Greaper's Corner
Greaper's Corner

Hello. I am Greaper and this is my corner.

165 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags