WE ALL LOSE

JUST SAW A CAR WOTH THE LICENSE PLATE "BRM BRM" IM CRYING THIS MADE MY DAY

FUCK aliens ! we got these crazy shits under da sea and we’re not payin any attention!!!

Are we allowed to post realy bad poems we made or is that realy cringe and not allowed? Asking for a friend.

Happy valentines day!

WRONG GIF SORRY

Happy valentines day.

There are over a billion bugs in the world (some may even say more than a quintillion), and they all know your name.

I WAS ONLY O. TUMBLR FOR LIKE 5 SECS YESTERDAY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS A BOOP ?!?!?!???!!?????????!!!!!

best way I have found to comfort people who are endlessly apologetic of things outside their control (often as a result of shitty relationships) is the jokingly hyperbolic accusation of [gasp] "so you're behind it all!"

like someone giving me directions who starts apologizing profusely when I miss a light as if it's their fault--[gasp] "it was you who petitioned city council to build this intersection in 1893!!" because it snaps them out of it and they laugh like. oh yeah. that's a ridiculous thing to blame someone for. I'm not that guy. you're not that guy. it works.

sweet liberty

About to do my first illuminate mission!!!! I'll update y'all about how it went afterwards.

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

Opening Tumblr on March 15th