I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage

I did quickly go through the manga, with the help of the fanwiki, to see how much that "Atsushi's orphanage headmaster visions have been caused by Q" twist holds up (as sometimes, new plans come up as you write, especially if your series is over 10 years old)

In the first chapter, Atsushi has a flashback of the orphanage staff kicking him out, but they do not have individual identities. The first apparition of the headmaster as himself is when Atsushi is under the influence of Dogra Magra, in chapter 25, "Q":

I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage
I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage

His next apparition is in chapter 28, when Atsushi is being held in the Moby Dick, right before Lucy comes in and chooses to help him (note: that scene also compares Atsushi's abuse is to another person's, Lucy's.)

I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage

After that, there's chapter 39, "Portrait of a Father", where Atsushi doesn't hallucinate him, but we learn about who the man was to Atsushi, and witness his funeral.

His next hallucination is in chapter 52, at the very end of the Cannibalism arc. He explains to Akutagawa that the headmaster has been been haunting him less since (the final fight on) the Moby Dick, but has been silent since the funeral.

I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage
I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage

There are a few more mentions of the headmaster that I haven't mentioned, but a very notable one is that Atsushi saw becoming stronger and his upcoming fight against Akutagawa as a way to free himself from the headmaster's influence, much like Akutagawa saw it as a way to gain Dazai's approval.

I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage

I don't think we see Atsushi hallucinating the headmaster after this until chapter 122, but the Dazai hallucinations start showing up in chapter 63, so really not that long after the previous one. The next Dazai ones I could find were in chapters 78, 105 and 121.

I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage
I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage

The conclusion is therefore that Atsushi hallucinating the headmaster has been a very active and purposeful part of his journey as a character since very early on. It started manifesting after Atsushi's breakdown while under the influence of Q's ability, and it's taken various approaches as Atsushi faced different struggles, but it's always been there.

I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage

While wearing Dazai's face, the hallucination was given more credit in Atsushi's eyes, but its words were barely less sharp and hurtful. However, they did tend to push Atsushi into acting, rather than cowering and giving up.

I Did Quickly Go Through The Manga, With The Help Of The Fanwiki, To See How Much That "Atsushi's Orphanage

We're seeing Atsushi heal in real time, no matter how messy it is, and I'm so proud of him.

More Posts from Theghostinabadbook and Others

5 months ago

perhaps controversial but i think fukuzawa could save everyone if he gave amenogozen a little kiss. it's fukuchi's body. surely the home of a god is not immune to worship it once knew?


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4 months ago

If we adopted children into the mafia would that be fucked up or what


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2 months ago

People talk a lot about how they hope Akutagawas vampirism will heal him of his lung disease, but I really hope it doesn't. Curing Akutagawas illness this way would feel incredibly cheap, and I'd be highly disappointed. Especially after this

People Talk A Lot About How They Hope Akutagawas Vampirism Will Heal Him Of His Lung Disease, But I Really
People Talk A Lot About How They Hope Akutagawas Vampirism Will Heal Him Of His Lung Disease, But I Really

This moment is not only impactful because Akutagawa confesses his illness (something he views as a weakness) it was the first time Atsushi saw humanity in Akutagawa it was also setting up stakes for Akutagawas character i feel like throwing that all away with a magical vampirism cure would be one of the worst things for his arc


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3 months ago
For Atsushi To Comment On Akutagawa’s Eyes Here Makes Me Crazy Because Of How Much It Means

for atsushi to comment on akutagawa’s eyes here makes me crazy because of how much it means

in a manga where the artist visually portrays character mood and morality in their eyes, especially during key moments, this means a lot

atsushi recognizes those eyes… he recognizes akutagawa’s true character and his virtue, he’s no longer holding a morality bias over him

he understands him, finally…

akutagawa might not recognize him but atsushi remembers

and he understands now.


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2 months ago
Their Combined Level Of Freak Is Unmatched

their combined level of freak is unmatched


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4 months ago

the fact that atsushi saw akutagawa was alive and thought 'i must save him', not out of 'i must save him so we can defeat this villain' but simply out of 'alive. must save'

which is his default thinking at any point but isn't it ✨️refreshing✨️ for akutagawa to be part of this mindset


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7 months ago

Yeah we should’ve known something was wrong with Akutagawa after he said “I bare no grudge.”

Single most pettiest man in this entire series if he bares no ill will to the people who fucked with him.

Somethings amiss.


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2 months ago

I just saw someone say that Luffy, Ace, and Sabo aren't brothers because they're not biologically related, and I'm just... speechless. How can someone watch One Piece in its entirety and think this way?? I can't even express myself properly about this because it's just so obvious that the fact that they're not related by blood just... doesn't matter. Like, that's the whole point of their story, to show that even though they have different origins they still love and consider each other as brothers, that your blood doesn't matter, and that the people you choose as your family are your real family. How can you watch them become sworn brothers, their shared childhood, Ace and Luffy's grief when they are told that Sabo is dead, Luffy and Sabo's pain when Ace dies, their reunion, and how much effort they make to inherit Ace's will and honor him, and still believe that they are not brothers?? Found family is literally one of the biggest themes of One Piece??? I just can't understand how someone managed to simply not understand the most important part, not only of the story of these three, but of the story of One Piece as a whole.


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3 months ago

Something I find really beautiful about this chapter is Atsushi subconsciously finding his tendency to rely on his emotions as a strength — he had no logical conclusion as to why the ADA members were alive, but instinctively, in his heart, he knew.

The same for Akutagawa — he knew that Akutagawa would remember, in his heart, with the doubt of his mind. I believe it was a quote Atsushi had said earlier, but I believe it's the core of his character — "The head may err, but never the blood".

The heart is a mysterious thing, because it makes sense without any logical basis. The heart is a trust, a senseless trust with a sense of clarity. Dazai in Atsushi's subconscious saying, "Feel strongly. That's what you do when you want to experience the past", brings me to believe that Atsushi has become better at living. Atsushi, by only living in the present, has become the only person fit to defy the space, because the present in the agreement of the past and future.

In other words, I believe Atsushi is the heart.


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