I LOVE SPELLS AND I LOVE TO FUCK

Caretaker catching Whumpee gently by the shoulders and drawing them close as they start to doze off on their feet. Whumpee melting into their touch, head dipping forward to rest against Caretaker’s shoulder.

there are a lot of things that make the locked tomb series so appealing, like yeah lesbians with swords, bones, deeply fucked up and compelling dynamics etc, but fundamentally possibly the most enticing aspect of it is the sheer amount of pathetic women in it. we are living in an age of DROUGHT of pathetic women in media; the Girlboss trope, in its most stereotypical and mind-numbingly basic interpretation, reigns supreme. the female silly little meow meow is ENDANGERED. but not in the locked tomb series! in fact there are several of them here and they’re all pathetic in different special ways, which doesn’t prevent them from also being badasses and strong, skilled fighters, but CRUCIALLY they are also losers!! and that’s what makes them so great!!!! like we have the self-sacrificing butch lesbian jesus-figure with a hole in her chest and the most pathetic case of Simping in history, canonically known as the ‘saddest girl in the universe’, the evil stick feral kitten lesbian nunlet with a bone fetish that everyone for some reason is obsessed with (no actually it’s understandable), the super tall ghost-looking ‘problematic’ lesbian with a bone arm who loves to cause problems on purpose, her even taller and more insane twin sister and her deeply repressed constantly half-dead crush who’s pretty much always having the worst time out of everyone in a series where everyone is always having the worst time. oh and of course the eldritch horror dressed up as a barbie doll

Hi hi everyone.

You can find this map here with all variations:

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Also you can get my maps individually in Roll20:

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Don't forget to support me on patreon for new maps every week

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All my social Media:

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how did you get banned on soundcloud?

A month ago during the “soundcloud is going down” scare I wrote a script that basically downloaded my entire corner of SoundCloud at incredibly abusive speed and got bandwidth-banned for a month since CloudFlare detected it as a mass DDOS (which is fair I mean I was downloading like terabytes of data)

The etymology of the interjection pog is so insane like:

1. People are saying "pog" because there is a twitch emote named pogchamp

2. It's called pogchamp because the face of the emote is this guy:

3. who is a youtuber and streetfighter player who made this face on a video because of a production mishap and later won a competition of the game Pog for which he made a video titled "Pog Championship" that featured this face

4. Pog is a game also referred to as "milk caps" where you stack disks and slam your disks into your opponent's stack to disrupt them. They look like this:

5. The game is called pog because it is commonly played with novelty bottle caps from a drink also called POG

6. The drink is called POG because it's an initialism for its ingredients passion fruit, orange, and guava

7. Passion fruit is native to South America and got its name because Portuguese missionaries used its five-part shape as an allegory for Jesus's stigmata to explain the crucifixion of Christ to the Brazilian natives

8. The word passion comes from the Latin patior which means "I suffer" in reference to the suffering of Christ on the cross

9. The Indo-European root of patior has been reconstructed as *peh- "to hurt" which is cognate with English fiend

Okay, here's my idea:

The British should put a time limit on the Monarchy.

Not like declaring a republic tomorrow, but deciding on a date in the future that ends the British Monarchy.

And there's a perfect date for it coming up!

October 14th, 2066.

A thousand years since the Battle of Hastings. A thousand years of this one specific bloodline ruling England.

Call time on the Monarchy after exactly one thousand years. Nice, and neat.

Even better: Charles isn't living 44 years. He'll be gone in about twenty. Now William? He's what, 40? Yeah, he can live another 44 years. His great grandmother was over a hundred, his granny was 96, William can make it to 84 barring accident or assassination.

So on October 14th 2066, William the Last steps down a thousand years after William the First won the crown.

Nice, neat, and fair. William gets the crown he's been waiting forty years for already, but ten-year-old George grows up without expectation of it.

Have a nice big abdication ceremony, even.

Footnotes on foes: Eldrazi

Hey DMs, do you need an unfeeling aberrant force to threaten your campaign world at various scales but don’t want to use mindflayers? Bored of lovecraftian knockoffs threatening to drown reality in abstract but unspecified “madness”? Well have I got the monster for you friends, It’s the Eldrazi: an unknowable and all consuming horde that’s here to reduce your setting to nothingness.

I’ve always had a fondness for the Eldrazi after they originally debued in magic the gathering, alien beings that sap all life from their surroundings and seem to have no other aims beyond the total and complete obliteration of whatever world they happen to dwell on. (plus they have a super cool look, and in the end isn’t that what matters?)

Eldrazi have a lot of mystery surrounding them, but in trying to puzzle them out I came up with my own headcanon that was too good not to use.  Below the cut I’ll go into detail on how I think the eldrazi function, and how you can best use them in your campaigns.

TLDR: The eldrazi are the great decomposers of the multiverse, reducing dead worlds down into their base components, and then into dust to be reabsorbed by the cosmic cycles of the astral sea. A perfectly natural process, but one that can go catastrophically wrong should the eldrazi be drawn to a world that has not yet died as they often are by witless dabblers or disruptions to those same astral currents. When they end up on a world they’re not supposed to be they end up creating wastelands, fighting against nature like an infection.  

Keep reading

smacking you in the face wjth it

Hey you know what sucks is predatory companies that make you enter your email address so that they can harass and advertise to you to access resources you might need to keep track of expenses after a disaster. So, uh, fuck them.

If you need to track the cost of things like hotel stays, pet kenneling, medical care, etc. after a disaster you can use this worksheet.

If you need to create an inventory of your home for an insurance claim (and if you'd like to do this to keep someplace safe before a disaster) you can use this worksheet (two pages, instructions on the first page, worksheet on the second).

And here's a FEMA document with numbers for disaster relief groups and a checklist of documents that you may need to have replaced as well as a description of what to do if you had cash in your home that was destroyed and can possibly be replaced.