♡ Studying When You Don't Feel Like It ♡

I wish 2021 never happened.

"...it is sad of course, to forget. But it is a lonely thing, to be forgotten. To remember when no one else does."

- the invisible life of Addie LaRue by V.E Schwab

“I want you to tell me about every person you've ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn't think you'd live through. Tell me what the word "home" means to you and tell me in a way that I'll know your mother's name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8.

See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree?

And if you would, would you notice how that tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they're sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain?

See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother's joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you've been unkind. Tell me all the ways you've been cruel. See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving.

And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people's wounds.”

— Andrea Gibson

What's meant for you will be all yours at the end. The constellations are in your favour, so my little star-bright, what are you worried about?

live your life now. don’t save clothes for a time you’re happier in your body, don’t put off adventures because you think your friends would be happier without you there, don’t deprive yourself of good things just because you can’t see the good in yourself

I get that you might not be able to understand my point of view, but that doesn't mean that you misunderstand when I'm trying to convey. Don't twist my words to form those judgemental opinions of yours.

I'm going to forget about yesterday. From now on, I'll give you my all, dear my future.

whatever was left, that was ours for a while.

sunrise - louise glück

We are all stardust and stories.

- Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea

The night sky see's it all~

02.01.23

Okay, so I need to start studying like crazy. Today I visited an academy which helps you prep for exams in the evening. I'll be joining it from tomorrow. I realised that I'm not just paying for learning, but for time allocation as well. I'm paying them to take my time so that I can get my life together. I hate how my self-accountability in terms of studying went downhill. I'll be waking up at 4 am from tomorrow.