🌱 Sage Green Is A World Of It's Own 🌱

And there in the dark, he asks if it was really worth it.

Were the instants of joy worth the stretches of sorrow?

Were the moments of beauty worth the year of pain?

And she turns her head, and looks at him, and says,

'Always'.

-the invisible life of Addie LaRue by V.E Schwab

“You have always been the worst of my children,” he said. “Be sure to not dishonor me.”

“I have a better idea. I will do as I please, and when you count your children, leave me out.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

02.05.23

So, I've been pretty productive today. Did groceries and attended the lectures. Need to do a chap rn. I need to study and do well. I'll study till 9pm and then, sleep. Slept a good 10 hours yesterday. Sleep is the most important thing ever.

🌻 study update 🌻

Pictures from yesterday

🌱okie so today, I felt like shit, I had about one hour of sleep :( however, I didn't listen to that tiredness and did some physics hehe. I'm really proud of myself.

is wanting to vibe under wisteria with my chai and a book too much to ask for?

Icarus has abandoned me:

The cosmos cries comets, the moon bleeds lullabies, and here i am, icarus; i, who can bear the quarrels of fate and time no more. you sought the sun, but did the sun seek you back? does it mourn you, or am i the only one doing that?

Who's stars am i aligning, are they mine? certainly that is what i was told (did you not tell me that, icarus) . those promises that I kept safe so dearly in my pockets, how did they find me? who am i to chase after the remarkable  (i thought i could, in the name of you, icarus).

i, who sought icarus, can hear him no more. i am searching. where are you?

it is your time to find me, icarus; search for me. heal me. answer me.

When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

I seek for the universe yet it does not seek me back; a travesty, it called me.

The moon weeped the stars alive, and then me. It weeped me alive.

So mon amour, I am not just any travesty, but the moon's.

I am the moon's travesty.

Everyone wants the stars. Everyone wishes to grasp that which exists out of reach. To hold the extraordinary in their hands and keep the remarkable in their pockets.

- Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea.

When Sylvia plath said, "why can't I try on different lives, like dresses, to see which fits best and is more becoming" ; and when Ocean Vuong said, "you would tell them that the most useful thing one can do with empty hands is hold on" jwjwuwjwwjwbbevevegehbe im gonna go overdose on chai now, bye.