I Know We Talk A Lot About Crazy Literature Professors, But I Need To Tell Y’all About My Mechanics

i know we talk a lot about crazy literature professors, but i need to tell y’all about my mechanics professor. so, here are some quotes from him just from this morning:

“i know this is all very easy, and it’s 8am, but don’t fall asleep from boredom or i’ll throw my apple in your face.”

“if i walk in a straight line, it’s a 1D movement. if im drunk, and go sideways, it’s 2D. and if i took some crazy shit, i can even be [he starts doing squats while walking/jumping] iN 3D!!!”

“let’s say this apple falls down from the sky. i know, unlikely, but this is physics, it’s supposed to sound magical.”

“oh god, my apple looks terrible. thank god i didn’t eat it before the class or i would’ve been terribly upset.”

[explaining newton’s third law about things tend to attract each other] “you, good lad in the front! i am terribly ATTRACTED to you. but you, other lad in the back - or are you a girl? i don’t know, you have a hat - i am way less attracted to you. don’t be upset guys, we’re talking physics, not physical!”

“of course this book [by his colleague] isn’t perfect, but [raising his voice] I LOVE IT VERY MUCH. [back to whispering] you can never know when your colleagues are spying on you. beware. Eric, if you’re here: so we meet again.”

professor: so what’s g? student: newton?? professor, faking a heart attack: nO. it’s barely 9am and you’re already hurting me, i am LEAVING. (he did leave the class for like two minutes??)

“it’s time for a 7min break. 5 min’s too short, 10′s too long, 7 is average and perfect.” he pauses. “depending on what you’re measuring of course.”

“see, this equation is so easy, i drew a laughing emoji next to it in my notes.” he turns to us and sighs. “yeah. newton and einstein died for this.”

More Posts from Theoneandonlybastard and Others

5 years ago

° being in an orchestra (any of the instruments)

i want mooncore to be a thing

we could be called like moon children or stars or smth

always sleepy

loves space

sunkissed? more like moonkissed

i want to hug the moon n o w

night person

stargazing dates>>

probably ghostcore too

rocks/marbles/round things that look like the moon(moonlets???) are my life

moon reflecting on water is pwetty uwu

ur probably a bottom

sitting in ur bedroom looking out at the moon at midnight is the best feeling

artemis? more like the one true god

messy buns

long t shirts as pjs

dancing by urself lit bit moonlight and maybe a small lamp

youre also prob feminine but not required we love our masc siblings

buzzfeed unsolved

dark rooms

THUNDERSTORMS

greek mythology

if u were in band u prob played a stereotypically “pretty” instrument

idk how to do this i just love the moon and space and want mooncore to be a thing so pls dont let it flop??

add on pls :)

5 years ago

Musical Artist Deitisonas:

Andrew Hozier Byrne: God of Dreams and the Forest. King of the Druids.

Dodie Clark: Goddess of Monsters, Chaotic Good, Confetti, and Healing.

Florence Welch: Goddess of Dance, Women and Witchcraft. Queen of the Faeries.

Regina Spektor: Goddess of Madness, Color, and Strong Unexplainable Feelings.

David Bowie: Lord of the Stars and Planets. Traveler of the Universe. A shapeshifter.

He was human once, and never felt as if he truly belonged in the body of mankind. He was granted godliness after death. He’s everywhere in space at once, to this day, still traveling the endless universe forever more.

Whenever we see a comet trailing by, its him giving us a hello.

He keeps the planets in line, as well as the stars and meteors and nebulas, making sure nothing hurts his favorite planet. The planet that he owes so much to, despite the fact that it was never home.

Freddie Mercury: God of Love and Euphoria, Savior and Brother of the Oppressed. Charm-speaking abilities, possessing the most beautiful voice in all the cosmos.

Beyoncé: Goddess of the Sun.

Lana Del Rey: Goddess of Time and Forever.

4 years ago
Quakecon 97 Final Stage Bosses
Quakecon 97 Final Stage Bosses
Quakecon 97 Final Stage Bosses
Quakecon 97 Final Stage Bosses
Quakecon 97 Final Stage Bosses
Quakecon 97 Final Stage Bosses
Quakecon 97 Final Stage Bosses

Quakecon 97 Final Stage Bosses

5 years ago
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan
Pride And Prejudice (personal Project) By Airi Pan

Pride and Prejudice (personal project) by Airi Pan

5 years ago

My extensive research has led me to this:

BASTILLE:  became immortals during the Roman Empire

SIA: the muse Euterpe, came down to Earth during the 2000s to have a good time

CONAN GRAY, CAVETOWN, & DODIE: demigod children of Apollo recently inducted into the Theoi Mousikoi

HOZIER: immortal fae in the human realm since the 17th century

LUMINEERS: became immortals right before the industry boom

VULFPECK: became immortals during the 70s

QUEEN: turned werewolves in the late 70s that made music during full moons

FLORENCE WELCH: the archangel Raphael, sent down as a human to comfort God’s children

CHANCE THE RAPPER: the archangel Gabriel, sent down as a human to spread God’s REAL message

LIZZO: the archangel Uriel, sent down as a human to motivate God’s children

MITSKI: immortal since like 2007

JAMILA WOODS, JANELLE MONAE, & FRANK OCEAN: the fates, trying to help humans understand their own emotions

LORDE: rebellious teen turned vampire in like 2009 

KENDRICK LAMAR: I know he’s on this list somehow but I can’t figure out how yet

5 years ago

I just wanna be vaguely unsettling, not even scary or creepy, I just want people to look at me and feel like there's something A Little Bit Wrong but they don't know what then they tell the story of the slightly cryptid being to their friends later

5 years ago

can someone hide all food sources from me pls i beg u

Can Someone Hide All Food Sources From Me Pls I Beg U
4 years ago

My legs are weak and I dont know if it’s because of a lack of sleep or lack of sugar

5 years ago

I need more Lestat getting IDed, being called “young man,” being talked to in a condescending manner, just more 20-years-old-and-looks-like-it. I want people complaining to him about millennials and “his generation”.

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vent :(

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