Theoneandonlybastard - Simi 🐰

maddy perez + her room

I just wanna be vaguely unsettling, not even scary or creepy, I just want people to look at me and feel like there's something A Little Bit Wrong but they don't know what then they tell the story of the slightly cryptid being to their friends later

Gir’s disguise is his fursuit change my mind

(I stole this joke from that one otherkin vine sksdkff)

Workouts You Can Do In Bed

To Get Rid Of The “Are You Pregnant?” Belly :

20 crunches

35 sit ups

10 full body crunches

50 crisscrosses

10 wide leg cross sit ups

20 leg raises

To Get Rid Of The Jello Like Thighs :

100 pillow squeezes

30 side leg lifts (Each side)

To Get That Bubble Butt :

40 butt bridges

25 lying kick backs (Each side)

50 clam lifts (Each side)

20 forward kicks (Each side)

30 knee tucks (Each side)

There is literally no reason why you shouldn’t be doing these workouts ESPECIALLY if you’re in bed. You can do this! You reach that UGW

Made by: ThisIsAnaMyFriend

Im an old school Dracula or vaguely old

types of vampires

old school dracula: dramatic, probably a theatre kid at some point, loud, likes black n white outfits with accents of red, v into long flowing clothes, fan of sharp eyeliner and a classic red lip, melancholic, sexual tension, will not shut up about being cursed to live as an immortal corpse, rambles a lot, weirdly big on manners, extemely attracted to morticia addams (like. almost too much)

vaguely old immortal: always has at least the top three buttons of their shirt undone, likes muted colors, likes soft makeup but doesn’t wear it a lot, uses weird turns of phrase or speaks poeticly, closed off (especially about their past), long nails for piercing the skin of those they feed on, wears a locket, stares off into space a lot, has called you a random name like “willamette” at least once, bad with technology, always making things unnecessarily philosophical, hasn’t had a haircut in at least a decade, bisexual

2000s bloodsucker: dark hair, emo and/or goth, whiny, dresses exclusively in black and gray, wears a ton of smeared black eyeshadow or no makeup at all (there is no in between), listens to either screamo or stuff like creature feature, big on layers, broods in the shadows, sleeps in a coffin, will throw rocks at your window at night to get your attention, shows off fangs at every opportunity, says a spooky catchphrase before drinking your blood

modern heartthrob vamp: piercing eyes, everything about their look is sharp and clean except their hair which is always messy, sort of preppy, plays a lot of instruments, well-liked but quiet, polite, would walk you home at night if you didn’t feel safe, never kills when they feed, does the single drip of blood falling down their chin thing, really into math or literature, knows a lot of random facts, can work an antique sewing machine as well as a smartphone, cries at sad movies, likes the rain

stressed new turn: anxious, usually confused or lost, disheveled, makes a big mess when they bite someone, has spent at least a week wandering the woods, has lots of cinematic “what have I become” moments while staring into the bathroom mirror, listens to keaton henson and daughter, has been wearing the same outfit for five days, always has a headache, messed up sleep schedule, dissociates, reads books about vampires at the library but is too embarrassed to check any out, existential guilt, secretly wishes they could apprentice with an older vampire, androgynous

goblin vamp: chaotic, shaved head or uncommon hairstyle, never tries to be discreet about being a vampire, likes parties/raves/concerts, drinks bloodbags like Kool-Aid jammers, dresses tacky, loves garlic bread, most likely has shitty stick n poke tattoos, thinks all vampire movies are hilarious, takes selfies in graveyards, trespasses a lot (especially into abandoned buildings), impulsive n reckless, either has a vulture culture blog or a punk aesthetic blog, listens to peppy indie music while feeding, very gay

reverse goth vamp: hair dyed bleach blonde, very friendly and talkative, loves animals, will babysit for you like whenever, likes hawaiian shirts and shorts, favors light and bright colors, surfer aesthetic, vampire positivity, wears a ton of sun screen and big floppy hats so they can go out in the sun, pours blood on snow cones, only drinks from volunteers/blood doners, likes swimming, probably has SAD, loves cartoons (especially fun cartoons about monsters like Ruby Gloom), into pop or upbeat acoustic music, longboards or rollerblades, wears pronoun pins

vampire that everyone thinks is a werewolf: is a jock but only plays indoor sports, fairly hairy, all dogs love them, can drive, either wear their hair in a ponytail or down and unbrushed, cute smile, doesn’t like wearing makeup or dressing up, sweats or athleisure, good at party games, has gotten “yo dude I dare you to drink my blood” more than once, has accidentally gotten alcohol posioning from drinking too much drunk blood, goes out for runs at night, loves sleeping in, hunk/bear or butch

tag yrself

me convincing everyone (including myself) i actually like the gross (but low cal) foods i eat on a daily basis

this is edward

❤️✨🚪✊🌹🤗💋✨❤️

Emoji spell for your beloved to knock on your door again 

Likes charge

Reblogs cast

In The Road to El Dorado there is only really one inexplicable thing within the plot. Miguel and Tulio plausibly bluff their way through or slip out of most situations. However, I’d never figured out why the volcano actually stops erupting when Tulio commands it. 

The conclusion I finally came up with is that the actual gods were watching their big entrance go down, and thought “oh, this’ll be hilarious”

If this doesn’t go viral, I’ll kms

-👑