Astarion's ascension is extremely popular, despite it clearly being the designed bad ending for him.
So many fans of this version want to argue that it's a "valid" path to choose if you enjoy his character, or that it's equally good as his Spawn ending. The "it's what he wants" argument is the hegemonic justification in question.
But is wanting something better than needing another thing? Yes, he talks about ascension ever since he finds out about the ritual.
Yes, when push comes to shove he's still committed to ascend. But is this enough? Should we support his choice, even when everything but his words tell us not to? Should we trust the judgment of a deeply traumatized man about the best way for him to feel better?
This may sound harsh, but the answer is no.
Because in many circumstances, we see Astarion behaving unhealthily as a result of his trauma: he's hypersexual at the beginning of the game, using sex as a survival mechanism. He's yet to learn what his boundaries should be, what it means not to be an object, to see himself as a person that deserves respect and has so much more to offer than just his body. His trauma is still fresh. And he's so scared of losing his freedom, being trapped under slavery again.
We can't blame him being so desperate to feel safe that he will trade everything he is for it.
Because that's what the ritual means, Cazador says so himself: despite gaining the ritual's power, Astarion is still part of the bargain for said power. He still loses his soul in the process, and that is clear once we see how he acts post-ascension.
Of course, someone that is still suffering from the consequences of 200 years of abuse wouldn't care if he became less of himself, in the process of becoming untouchable ever again. Astarion's behaviour towards himself highlights that he doesn't care for the person he is because that person is, sadly, the product of those centuries of abuse.
He doesn't want to be that person anymore: even better, he doesn't want to be a person anymore: people suffer, people get taken advantage of, people are submitted by more powerful beings. He is willing to give this up not despite losing everything he is, but because of it. And that's what happens after his ascension: he retains his body, which becomes an empty shell of who he once was, with someone else inside of it to fill the void left by his soul.
This situation is a perfect, brutal metaphor of an abused person that later in life becomes the abuser himself, a thing that often happens to male victims of SA.
This is what is fundamentally wrong with Astarion's ascension: he's choosing power, his abuser's tool, over healing. Instead of learning to feel like a person again, to deal with his trauma to life after having endured it, he chooses to not feel anymore, while letting thousands of spawns (like he was) be consumed to get what he wants.
This terribly selfish act is the first instance of Astarion behaving like Cazador, considering the spawns as lesser beings, as nothing but his tools, like all vampire lords do. In this process he also sees himself, the person he gives up being, as a tool. He isn't healing. He's losing all of himself entirely.
Why would someone see this sacrifice as not only necessary to leave his trauma behind, but also preferable to healing from it?
The fan-favourite characteristic of Ascended Astarion is his behaviour towards Tav: in this version of "himself", he clearly is even more sexual than he was in his first days with the tadpole. And this expression of his sexuality is drastically different from the one we got to know prior to this point.
He is dominant, prevaricating, demanding in his avances: he enjoys being in a position of power even in his relationship.
This isn't the Astarion that slowly learns to trust his partner, to build a real loving relationship with someone who sees him as equal and truly cares for him.
Everything that he learns during his romance and his plot gets nullified by his ascension; and yet, this gets overlooked in favour of this more sexually appealing version of him. For people that claim to love his character because of his complexity, Ascended Astarion fans seem to only truly love him when he's less of himself than ever.
When all that's left of him is his body, and he behaves more like the toxic love interest from a young adult romance book, a great number of his fans get wild. Is this all that they want from him? The husk of the funny, sarcastic, dramatic and complex character, filled with this more traditionally masculine attitude, replacing what he used to be? An Astarion that never heals from his trauma, choosing to leave behind everything he was instead? Who resembles his abuser more than ever?
Do his fans who like his ascended version so much to genuinely think this is the best outcome for him, or do they just enjoy being able to project this "macho" fantasy on a physically attractive male character, that otherwise isn't anything like this prototype of man?
We can't help but think that appreciating Ascended Astarion is the same as believing in, if not loving, his hypersexual facade: it's overlooking his humanity in favour of sexualising him.
Which is the biggest disservice one could ever do to his character.
I swear to God I'm getting fucking ads on my keyboard
Using predictive text and it keeps suggesting titles for shit I've never heard of
Trying to text Zan and type the letter g and fucking swiftkey is immediately like "Ghosts of Tsushima" and I have no fucking clue what that is
I look it up cause I'm curious now and it's a goddamn game. It's some fucking video game that I don't know anything about, have never talked about before, have never typed out before, but the fucking keyboard is telling me about it
And then it happened with other shit
Movies, shows, other games that predictive text has no reason to assume I'll be talking about
I am aware that we live in an advertising saturated hellworld but I really don't need it rubbed in my face like this
Sorry, no stream tonight.
Twitch and OBS are both being absolute dicks and I've spent the last hour trying to fix it to no avail.
I'm really sorry everyone
Some good feminist YouTubers for y’all!
Annamarie Forcino
Tara Mooknee
Shanspeare
Chad Chad
Noah Samsen
Ro Ramdin
Samantha Lux
Kat Blaque
Jessie Gender
Ethan Is Online
Feel free to add!
Here’s my book rant for you. Boneyard by Seanan McGuire.
It’s set in the Deadlands setting, so basically Wild West but with monsters and some magic.
The book is about a traveling circus and the woman who has to tend to the monster exhibits while raising her mute daughter and running from her crazy narcissistic and abusive husband.
Overall, I’d say the book is really good, but there one thing that really sticks a thorn in my side.
So the circus has a collection of various monsters. There’s these red pirhanna things with teeth so sharp they bite themselves constantly, sending them into a feeding frenzy. They’ve got crazy poisonous spiders with skull patterns on their backs, they’ve got wasps the size of your forearm, an ENORMOUS catfish, a corn stalker which is this this pumpkin headed plant person.
Then, there’s the bloodwire.
What is a bloodwire you might ask?
I can’t tell you because apparently the author can’t either.
Throughout the ENTIRE BOOK they are constantly alluding to the bloodwire as a creature they have, but never once is it described or shown in action.
At one point the book even goes “and she told the little girl about the bloodwire” but NEVER ONCE DO WE AS THE READERS GET TO KNOW WHAT IT IS.
It seemed like for the entire book, the author was building up mystery around the bloodwire, deliberately concealing it so she could reveal it at the end as the circus’ most dangerous monster, maybe it would come in handy in the book’s final confrontation.
Literally all of the other circus monsters are used, except the bloodwire. I’m half convinced the author forgot about it halfway through.
That’s my book rant
I feel like a curse has been passed onto me because now I desperately want to know wtf a bloodwire is but I know that there is no answer. It is a curiosity that cannot be satisfied
Saw a streamer claiming that it's okay for them to stream Hogwarts Legacy because they're donating money from the stream to a trans charity.
How much? Don't know. They didn't clarify that.
It's pretty clear what they're doing, though. It's not really about wanting to raise money for trans charities. If it was, they could have picked any other popular game for their stream.
They just want to play the game and use the controversy to boost their channel. The only reason they included the charity thing is to use it as a shield against anyone who rightfully calls them out.
You can't claim to support the trans community while actively promoting and supporting transphobia.
Also pretty, uh, interesting how transphobia is the only issue they saw fit to address and ignored the racism altogether
Today was.....terrible. I got screamed at repeatedly, coworkers would not stop bitching about every little thing, and I got covered with rotten meat juice. Please let me die
Messy bi who dresses like a four-year-old despite being in my 30s
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