Mayura Is A Cool Name And All, But I Can’t Believe The English Dub Didn’t Jump On The Chance To Call

Hey, random writing tip: Instead of having something be a ridiculously unlikely coincidence, you can make the thing happen due to who this particular character is as a person. Instead of getting stuck on "there's no logical reason to why that would happen", try to bend it into a case of "something like this would never happen to anybody but this specific fucker." Something that makes your reader chuckle and roll their eyes, going "well of course you would."

Why would the timid shy nerd be at a huge sketchy downtown black market bazaar? Well, she's got this beetle colony she's raising that needs a very specific kind of leaf for nest material, and there only place to get it is this one guy at the bazaar that sells that stuff. Why would the most femininely flamboyant guy ever known just happen to have downright encyclopedic knowledge about professional boxing? Well, there was this one time when he was down bad for this guy who was an aspiring professional boxer...

I know it sounds stupidly obvious when written out like this, but when you're up close to your writing, it's hard to see the forest for the trees. Some time ago I finished reading a book, where the whole plot hinges on character A, who is 100% certain that character B is dead, personally getting up and coming down from the top rooms of a castle, to the gates, at 3 am, to come look at some drunk who claims to be this guy who died 17 years ago. Why would A do that, if he's sure that B is dead?

Because he's a Warrior Guy from a culture of Loyalty And Honour, and hearing that someone's got the audacity to go about claiming to be his long-lost brother in battle, there is no other option than to immediately personally go down there to beat the ever-loving shit out of this guy. Who then turns out to actually be character B, after all.

the Evilustrhater Kwagatama scene is just fractally bad.

The Evilustrhater Kwagatama scene just... sucks. It breaks down on any level of thought. 1-Only Kwami should be giving out kwagatama. (cause its literally the only bit of agency the little slave-gods have). Mari spends this "giving up her Guardian-authority" scene usurping Tikki's authority. (It doesnt matter if we're meant to "reasonably assume" Tikki gave permision for this. It still should've been Tikki handing it over.) 2-It further unbalances the team dynamics, by putting Rena into a position of at least nominal authority to, at some point in the future, take away Chat's ring, should she decide to do so. Ladybug continues to make decisions that effect the entire team, without consulting any members of her team. (Even Rena wasnt consulted on this decision, and has it foisted on her instead. But then, this might be deliberate if we're getting Ladynoir Conflict/Miraculous Civil War)

3-It erodes Alya's relationship with Trixx. At least on a symbolical level. By giving her a Bug kwagatama, before ever giving her a fox one, thus implying symbolically that her relationship with Tikki is better then her relationship with Trixx. 4-simultaniously it erodes the symbolism of the Kwagatama as trust between Kwami and Hero. Mari needed to be a hero for months living with Tiki side-by-side fighting evil on the daily before Tikki gave her a kwagatama. Adrien only got his in Reunion, thats a season 5 episode. Adrien had to die multiple times, faced multiple apocalyptic threats and prevented World War Three before he got a Kwagatama. (put a pin in that one btw, its going to be relevant later). Alya has only used the Ladybug Miraculous once, and that was seemingly enough. 5-It obviously undermines Fu's sacrifice. Setting up a "just own the magic friendship-necklace and you'll get your memories back" reveal immensely undercuts the weight of Fu's amnesia. To be clear, I was always expecting that they'd find some clever loophole to protect Marinette from said amnesia. But having it be a magic necklace that she's had since Season 2? Saying "the problem was solved before it was even introduced" doesn't so much reduce the threat, as it removes the threat entirely. I was at least expecting her to have to train with the Order or something, finish the training Fu never got to learn how to protect herself in advance, maybe a potion from the Book Fu never deciphered in time? or have someone else on the team figure out how to restore her memories after the fact. (IE: Felix could definitly make a "memory-restoring" senti, Maybe a cameo from Liirii "liberating" her from the chains on her memories.) But saying "Oh, you just needed your Kwami to trust you and you wont ever get Fu-ed" is just... shitty. 6- It casually implies that Fu went through not one, but two World Wars as the Turtle wielder, but never managed to earn Wayz' trust. after all, if he did he'd have a Turtle Kwagatama, and the show would've been much different. --Edit cause i somehow forgot 7- Do we really need a third back-up guardian. We already had the guy from Ephemeral, and Luka went to the order to train for that very same position.

(a realization about dialogue formatting, from a comic artist turned novelist.)

One of the first things a novice writer learns about speech tags is that they’re part of the “scaffolding” of prose. They should be largely invisible to the reader: use them when necessary, omit them when not, and be sparing in the application of verbs other than “said”. They serve only the function of clarifying who is speaking when it is necessary to do so.

Except:

Sometimes you might want to use a speech tag in spite of the redundancy. The fact that the reader’s eyes slide right over them is an exploitable property. By slicing a line of dialogue in half with a speech tag, you can force the reader to perceive a meaningful pause between two utterances—and the effect is much stronger than you might get out of an ellipsis or an em dash. Developing an intuition for when and how to do this is a huge part of learning to write dialogue, I think.

(And yes: if you ever wondered, this is exactly same the reason why comic artists sometimes “double bubble” their speech bubbles. Same end, different means!)

How would you write Lila?

Really depends on things like how many seasons I had to fill, when I had to introduce her, if I had to give her the butterfly, and what I was doing with Chloe since Chloe and Lila are functionally the same character for most of the show. You do not need two petty mean girls to cause interpersonal drama. Either redeem one or don't let them overlap!

If we have to keep the butterfly as the villain to maintain the formula, then I'd make Lila a sentimonster created by Nathalie and introduce Lila at the start of season four. The linked post goes over my pitch for that rework, but while I like the concept, I don't like the butterfly being the designated evil miraculous. It just feels so bleh. Fives seasons of fighting and we're still right where we started: the butterfly in the hands of a villain that the heroes have no clear plan to defeat. You could start the story at season six and miss almost nothing (thus my constant theorizing that season six is a soft reboot.)

So let's take this post in a wildly different direction and talk in depth about evil spy Lila!

Almost any idea I have for Lila is going to involve some bigger plot to explain her lies and manipulation because they're just so over the top! Plus she's 14! How did she become this good at lying? Canon needs to give us some logic to explain all of this. Magic is a good excuse. So is training or even training and magic!

In this AU, Lila is from some sort of evil organization that uses their power for evil purposes (there are lots of routes you can got with this from evil magic to evil company, so let's stay high level and not commit to a path). The organization sees the miraculous being used in Paris and sends Lila to Paris to try to get her hands on the miraculous. Lila is specifically sent because of the Ladyblog. The organization views Alya as an easy in and so they send a teenage member or someone's kid who desperately wants to be part of the group.

This new Lila shows up claiming to be a Ladybug superfan, which instantly bonds her to Alya. Marinette's dislike of Lila now stems from Lila wanting to know all of Ladybug's secrets, which obviously raises red flags for Marinette, but not for Alya because Alya wants the same thing. In fact, Alya is really baffled why Lila's obsession rubs Marinette the wrong way because Marinette has always been fine with Alya having the same obsession. We know that the answer is that Marinette trusts Alya, but Lila is a wild card, but of course Alya doesn't know any of that. This makes the Marinette and Alya clash over Lila a lot more complex because it's no longer about lies. It's about trust and Marinette has no way to explain why trust is a factor without outing herself as Ladybug.

Lila can still tell lies and manipulate, but it's now all around getting close to Ladybug and learning everything she can. You can even have the Adrien conflict maintained with it now being Chat Noir wanting to be nice to fans while Ladybug is hard on the bad vibes train since Lila is so uncomfortably obsessed with her, another conflict that makes way more sense than what canon gave us. Adrien is just immune to weird fans and doesn't know that Ladybug is being bombarded with Lila's obsession every day at school.

This means that Marinette's Lila aversion is less her knowing something and more her being understandably uncomfortable because identity shenanigans, which is another nice complexity as it lets Marinette struggle with not knowing how to approach the situation because she knows she has no hard logical reason for her feelings, but she just can't get passed them. This could lead to some good lessons for kids on healthy relationships with celebrities/internet personalities and how you don't really know that person or have a right to their private life. It is, in fact, totally normal for your favorite celebrity to find your obsession a little creepy and block you when you cross lines. (This could even be a growing moment for Marinette re her crush on Adrien since it's written like a celebrity crush, though my personal preference is to just fix the writing around that to a more normal teenage crush. Even there it could be a growing moment, just a more nuanced one.)

There are a lot of ways to resolve this plot. Whatever you pick should see Lila outed and, in the process, we learn about the evil organization, giving us a new big bad for the heroes to deal with. Something that isn't tied to the miraculous and that is so big that it might justify having a big team of heroes to fight the new evil? Just a thought.

"Then for the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you."

“Without success.”

“Without success. So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck.”

You don’t understand, I NEED to see how Adrien would pretend to be Félix for something. I need some sort of situation where Félix needs Adrien to pretend to be him for a few hours so he can get away for a while and for Adrien to at first be like, “You sure? I’m kinda rusty but I think I can pull it off!” And then for Adrien to immediately dial up the dramatics the second he’s in Félix’s clothes.

I need Adrien to exaggerate all of his cousin’s traits, being over the top cryptic, cold, and snarky one moment then a dramatic showman the next. I need Adrien to visibly be having so much fun because he’s helping his cousin by making fun of him a little. I need Félix to witness Adrien’s performance and be like, “Oh no, he’s terrible, this was a mistake—” but then be absolutely wrecked by the knowledge that NOBODY is noticing a difference aside from like, Kagami and have a mini crisis of “Is this how I act?? That’s not how I act?? How are they falling for this??”

And by the end of it Adrien is like, “Y’know, that was really fun! We should do this more often, I see why you do it all the time! :D” And Félix is just sitting there. Head in hands. Grappling with this new information.

Also just:

Adrien, pulling out an absurd amount of stolen rings out of his pockets: Also what do you do with these once you’ve got them? I might’ve committed to the role a little too much.

Kagami, nodding along very seriously: Your method acting is incredible.

Félix, staring in horror: I’m not a kleptomaniac… Am I?

Guys. Guys please. We have to remember that protagonist is not a stand in word for hero and antagonist is not a stand in word for villain. Please. We learned this in middle school. The protagonist is the character the audience follows. The antagonist is the character who is working against the protagonist.

How to Write Strong Dialogue

(from a writer of ten years)

So you’re back in the writing trenches. You’re staring at your computer, or your phone, or your tablet, or your journal, and trying not to lose your mind. Because what comes after the first quotation mark? Nothing feels good.

Don’t worry, friend. I’m your friendly tumblr writing guide and I’m here to help you climb out of the pit of writing despair.

I’ve created a character specifically for this exercise. His name is Amos Alejandro III, but for now we’ll just call him Amos. He’s a thirty-something construction worker with a cat who hates him, and he’s just found out he has to go on a quest across the world to save his mother’s diner.

1.) Consider the Attitude and Characteristics of Your Character

One of the biggest struggles writers face when writing dialogue is keeping characters’ dialogue “in-character”.

You’re probably thinking, “but Sparrow, I’m the creator! None of the dialogue I write can be out of character because they’re my original characters!”

WRONG. (I’m hitting the very loud ‘incorrect’ buzzer in your head right now).

Yes, you created your characters. But you created them with specific characteristics and attitudes. For example, Amos lives alone, doesn’t enjoy talking too much, and isn’t a very scholarly person. So he’s probably not going to say something like “I suggest that we pursue the path of least resistance for this upcoming quest.” He’d most likely say, “I mean, I think the easiest route is pretty self-explanatory.”

Another example is a six-year-old girl saying, “Hi, Mr. Ice Cream Man, do you have chocolate sundaes?” instead of “Hewwo, Ice Cweam Man— Chocowate Sundaes?”

Please don’t put ‘w’s in the middle of your dialogue unless you have a very good and very specific reason. I will cry.

Yes, the girl is young, but she’s not going to talk like that. Most children know how to ask questions correctly, and the ‘w’ sound, while sometimes found in a young child’s speech, does not need to be written out. Children are human.

So, consider the attitude, characteristics, and age of your character when writing dialogue!

2.) Break Up Dialogue Length

If I’m reading a novel and I see an entire page of dialogue without any breaks, I’m sobbing. You’re not a 17th century author with endless punctuation. You’re in the 21st century and people don’t read in the same way they used to.

Break up your dialogue. Use long sentences. Use one word. Use commas, use paragraph breaks. Show a character throwing a chair out a window in between sentences.

For example:

“So, you’re telling me the only way to save my Ma’s diner is to travel across five different continents, find the only remaining secret receipt card, and bring it back before she goes out of business? She didn’t have any other copies? Do I have to leave my cat behind?”

vs.

Amos ran a hand over his face. “So, you’re telling me the only way to save my Ma’s diner is to travel across five different continents, find the only remaining secret recipe card, and bring it back before she goes out of business?”

He couldn’t believe his luck. That was sarcastic, of course. This was ironically horrible.

“She didn’t have any other copies?” He leaned forward over the table and frowned. “Do I have to leave my cat behind?”

The second version is easier to digest, and I got to add some fun description of thought and action into the scene! Readers get a taste of Amos’ character in the second scene, whereas in the first scene they only got what felt like a million words of dialogue.

3.) Don’t Overuse Dialogue Tags.

DON’T OVERUSE DIALOGUE TAGS. DON’T. DON’T DON’T DON’T.

If you don’t know what a dialogue tag is, it’s a word after a sentence of dialogue that attributes that dialogue to a specific character.

For example:

“Orange juice and chicken ramen are good,” he said.

‘Said’ functions as the dialogue tag in this sentence.

Dialogue tags are good. You don’t want to completely avoid them. (I used to pride myself on how I could write stories without any dialogue tags. Don’t do that.) Readers need to know who’s speaking. But overusing them, or overusing weird or unique tags, should be avoided.

Examples:

“I’m gonna have to close my diner,” Amos’ mother said.

“Why?” Amos growled. “It’s been in the family forever.”

“I’ve lost the secret recipe card, and I can’t keep the diner open without it!” she cried.

“The Bacon Burger Extreme recipe card?” Amos questioned.

“Yes!” Amos’ mother screamed.

“Well, that’s not good,” Amos complained.

vs.

“I’m gonna have to close my diner,” Amos’ mother said, taking her son’s hand and leading him over to one of the old, grease-stained tabletops with the ripped-fabric booths.

Amos simply stared at her as they moved. “Why? It’s been in the family forever.”

“I’ve—” she looked away for a moment, then took in a breath. “I’ve lost the secret recipe card. And I can’t keep the diner open without it.”

“The Bacon Burger Extreme recipe card?”

“Yes!” She still wouldn’t meet his eyes, and her shoulders were shaking. “Yes.”

Amos sat down heavily in the booth. “Well, that’s not good.”

The first scene only gives character names and dialogue tags. There are no actions and no descriptions. The second scene, however, gives these things. It gives the reader descriptions of the diner, the characters’ actions, and attitudes. Overusing dialogue tags gets boring fast, so add interest into your writing!

So! When you’re writing, consider the attitude of your character, vary dialogue length, and don’t overuse dialogue tags.

Now climb out of the pit of writing despair. Pick up your pen or computer. And write some good dialogue!

Best,

Sparrow

hope is a skill

More on Epic!Ares cause "The Lovers" section of God Games will not get out of my head. The thing I don't think fans are recognizing is that Ares's last line "pathetic and weak like his son" is very deliberately meant to provoke Athena, it's meant to test why she's doing this.

Consider how Telemachus went into the fight with Antinous, he didn't have a plan, only a goal, and he stood his ground, no cunning techniques only fists. Which is something Ares would agree with doing, not only that but remember what Antinous and the suitors want to do to Penelope, why Telemachus was fighting in the first place. Ares is a god known to be a defender of women, one of his biggest myths is about him killing a son of Poseidon because he assaulted his daughter. Considering that he likely wouldn't call Telemachus weak unless it was to get to Athena.

Which it did and that show of love and protectiveness over Telemachus is what convinced both Ares and Aphrodite to let Odysseus go. They are not ruled by logic and objectivity, which is what prepared her for Hera and Zeus, with Hera, Odysseus never cheating isn't a logical argument but it's what would work on Hera. With Zeus it was more important, Athena showing emotion and showing that vulnerability gave her the ability to sacrifice her pride. At the end of the song she begs Zeus to let Odysseus go, not longer being the "selfish, prideful and vain" Goddess that she was when her and Odysseus parted ways.