MY DEAREST L…
MY DEAREST L…
so an update on how I'm doing, my stress is going and leaving I'm tired but scared to sleep... and my swallowing is getting a bit better but not by much. I just want to wake up tomorrow and everything be back to normal, ugh I hate having stuff wrong with me. I can't even eat hard food bec I keep associating it with not being able to swallow last night, and my stress is just getting the best of me bec I'm all alone right now. I hate being alone, well... not being alone. I just hate being alone when something is wrong with me in case something happens and none is here for me. I have to take my sleeping pill I hope I can swallow it...
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My Dearest L...
Have you ever been on the phone with someone and talked to them about something that interests you then they LEGIT fall asleep on you mid-conversation, it's almost 4am right now and I get he's tired but like I'M ABOUT TO SLAP A BITCH!!!
MY DEAREST L…
It's 5am and my throat is so tight right now and I have work today and I have to go in or I'm getting fired I guess this is my life hmmm.....yay funn...
My Dearest L…
I'm bipolar, that's right the endless days of up's and down's, today and the past week now have all been downers. I mean, I pop my pills and stay alone because that's where I'm comfortable. I try and not think about it but sometimes it's all that goes through my mind the thought of always being alone with none to hold or to be here for me. I have texas and my friend but calling then is just not the same so actually having someone here with me to just fuck up the night together. you know sometimes I think about ripping my leg open again but am I going to maybe not cuz I'm in my right mind now but there is always that thought in my head that's like "you know you want to, come on, do it, just once!!" but if I start I won't be able to stop. it's almost like cocaine. just one line they say or just one more cigarette they say then 1 line become 5 and that becomes 10 then the next thing you know your whole leg is filled with lines. I miss the way I used to feel when I was 13 years old. whatever happened to the little boi where did he go????
My Dearest L...
I woke up today at 4 pm and I didn’t feel sad for once I just feel what I think is “happiness” It such I weird feeling to me but I wonder if this year will be my year to finally spread my wings and fly. I might go on a walk tomorrow it’s supposed to be a nice day out tomorrow so I might as well enjoy some fresh air. I think I’m going to open my window after have it closed for 8 months now...:)
My Dearest L...
I FUCKING HATE YOU for bringing him over that night and letting him talk to me, you knew I was vulnerable and I wasn't in the right state of mind and you still let him slip into my feelings, my thoughts, my heart... he dug and dug down into my heart and laid his bed and made himself at home, he walked around talking to her and you knew for so damn FUCKING long and told me to damn late you knew how much I put into him.. I did things for him I would of never of did for ANYONE in my life. but he was dif and you saw it in my eye's and you still let him break me in the end. you let him slip away tbh we all you, me and J......
My Dearest L...
The flames of a candle can only burn so bright till it dies out, there was once this dream I had where I was in a car and I saw my sister across a street looking at me and I was going to back the car into a driveway so I could pull into my friend's driveway, but as I was backing up behind me turned into a pond and the car slowly started to sink into the water I looked at me sister begging her to help me but she didn't move she just stood there looking at me as I was screaming fr her help sinking into this pond with the car. I managed to open my eyes but I could not see anything but the dream still in my line of vision, I heard everything going on around me but I could not move. when I finally managed to push myself out of this slumber I rolled over to my left and there was this big dark figure that stood from my floor to my ceiling it didn't seem like it wanted to hurt me but once I noticed it I turned I rolled to the right really fast and then rolled to the left to see if it was still there and it was gone...
MY DEAREST L…
Gotta love it when a manic ep hits at 3am....
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illustep liked this · 2 years ago -
thesadboisclub reblogged this · 2 years ago
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕽𝖆𝖙𝖘 𝕻𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖌"𝔑𝔬 𝔱𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔰, 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢. ℑ𝔱'𝔰 𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔰𝔲𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤."
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