Thesassymarquess - The Sassy Marquess

Dimension 52

(View the other chapters here [Chapter 1][Chapter 2])

Chapter 3:

It had been a couple of months since Ford had initially landed in Ooo, Six months to be precise. His records of how long he’d been lost were kept as accurate as possible. He’d had time to meet some of the other denizens including Princess Bubblegum’s friend, Marceline the Vampire Queen. She’d visited for a bit of a prank, namely moving Bubblegum’s bed halfway across Ooo. There was the Ice King, apparently an old senile wizard who came into Bubblegum’s castle with the intent to kidnap her. Ford fought the Ice King back, knocking off the crown that was seemingly the source of his powers (Afterwards the Ice King left sulking over the fact that Princess Bubblegum apparently had a new ‘boyfriend’, a statement that left Ford quite confused for the longest amount of time.) He even ran into a pair of talking dogs named Joshua and Margret who seemed to be paranormal investigators like himself. Ford spent most of his time either training or working alongside Bubblegum on one of her recent projects, some kind of defense robot named RATTLEBALLS.

Recently he’d come to the conclusion that he wasn’t really needed in Ooo anymore, and he had more or less finished his hand-to-hand combat lessons he’d been taking. There was also the rather unnerving issue of the candy citizens that kept calling him Billy for some strange reason.  So Ford grabbed his things, including several devices he and Bubblegum had built and some food for his journey ahead. It was time for him to discuss with Bubblegum his departure from this dimension.

“Hey Peppermint Butler, where’s Princess Bubblegum?”

“She’s in her Lab currently. Do you need me to get her?”

“No, that’ll be fine, I need to talk to her myself. Thank you Peppermint Butler.”

Ford found Princess Bubblegum sitting at her lab working furiously on an invention. “Hello Princess Bubblegum.” Bubblegum silently continued to work on her invention, not really acknowledging Ford’s presence. She put down a soldering iron and picked up a screw driver sealing the case on a piece of electronics. At this point she looked up and noticed Ford’s presence.

“Hey Ford, what’s up.”

“I’m ready to go home now.”

“I understand. I figured this day was coming.” Her tone sounded off to Ford. This wasn’t her typical cheery, bubbly attitude she had.

She grabbed her device off the table, revealing a second one sitting across from it. She gave a push to her desk causing her chair to slide across the room to the Traveler’s Stone. She picked it up on the way past, smoothly exited the chair, and walked over.

“So from what I learned of the it, all you have to do it is hold it and concentrate on your destination.”

“Really? It’s that simple?”

“Yup. But before you go, take this.” She held out the little device in her hand.

“It’s an interdimensional communicator. It’s a pretty basic prototype, but it gets the job done. I’ve got another one on my desk.”

“So how does it send messages back and forth? Is it a full digital interface? I’d say my experience with these is a little behind your tech.”

“The interface is only partially digital, it just sends a physical letter through it. It’s got this dimensions address already programmed into it. All you have to do is give it something to send.”

“Any restrictions to it?”

“For one thing, anything sent has to be less than five inches wide and less than one inch thick.”

Ford looked into the sole slot on the device and noted it matched the measurements given.

“I’ll also need you to send me your current dimensional ID every time you hop to a new dimension, otherwise I won’t be able to reply.”

“Sounds pretty useful if I can get the hang of it. How do I interact with it if I need to change the settings or something? Also can it send anything that fits in it?”

“You can send anything that isn’t alive. I simply think the results would not be pretty. Other than that, size is the only factor.”

“Have you tested it yet?”

“Give me a second.”

She walked back to her desk, grabbed a folded up letter, and inserted it into her device. It continued inside the device on it’s own. After a second, the letter was gone and Ford’s device beeped out a “You’ve got D-mail.”

“Okay so now you push the button here.”

As he did so, the letter emerged from the slot in his device. It read “DMD: Dimensional Mailing Device Instructional Manual.”

“Let’s do a quick test to see if yours can send properly.”

After more than enough tests of Princess Bubblegum’s invention that may have been an excuse to spend just a bit more time together they grabbed the stone and left the lab.

“If my understanding of the Traveler’s Stone is correct being on top of the castle will be the safest location to avoid mishaps.”

A faint breeze blew by as the two of them looked down on the Candy Kingdom. The time to say goodbye had finally come. Princess Bubblegum started to hand the Stone to Ford, but after a moment’s hesitation she set the stone aside to give Ford a  well-deserved hug. Though it felt awkward and unexpected on his end Ford reciprocated the hug.

“I’ll miss you.” She whispered to him.

Ford’s face turned a shade of pink brighter than Bubblegum’s hair. He picked up the stone and a second later it floated out of his hand. After shifting into a vertical ring a glowing portal appeared inside it.

“Goodbye Princess Bubblegum.”

“Call me Bonnie.”

“Goodbye Bonnie.”

With that, Ford stepped through the portal.

“‘Aw Balls’? What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Man, this is only the second time this has happened. Though it’s kinda weird it’s happened twice man.”

Stanford Pines stood in the middle of Prismo’s time room, with the only other object in the room being a little waste basket with a miniature basketball hoop attached. The rest of Prismo’s room was a bright yellow, except for the pink of Prismo himself. Prismo looked to be nothing more than a shadow cast upon the entire room from a higher plane of existence. Honestly Ford wasn’t exactly sure what Prismo’s true form was, but odds were good he looked more impressive than his results did.

“Okay, explain to me why when I wish to be able to go back to my home dimension, a trash can appears.”

“Well, err… I’m not exactly sure why the waste basket appears. Perhaps your true home could be in the trash.”

Prismo didn’t seem to be very sure of what was going on, but he seemed to be attempting to lighten the mood judging by his tone. However the joke was as tasteless as one of Stanley’s used to be. It had been what 11 years or so since he’d last heard a joke from Stanley. Ford felt a kind of emptiness over this reflection, but he pushed down these feelings and tried to focus on the conversation.

Prismo looked at Ford noting Ford’s complete distaste towards the joke and resumed speaking. “Ok, I’m sorry, I guess that wasn’t that funny. Look I can try to explain as much as I can, but it might be a little long. You shouldn’t need to worry too much though, since it won’t take any time in any other dimensions, which is why it’s called my time room.”

Prismo took in a deep breath and began: “So as you are well aware, there are many different dimensions and timelines and universes in the multiverse, or multidimensional space, or whatever you want to call it. My powers are limited in that I can only alter certain dimensions that are within my domain. So if say someone from the Land of Ooo comes in and wishes that say the Lich never existed, I’d alter the universe for their wish, and insert them into their new Lich-free reality. Of course there can be plural universes for dimensions, so I only change or create the relevant universe. If someone comes in and wishes to go to another Dimension entirely, the new dimension needs to be within my circle of power for me to be able to get them there. Unfortunately yours is out of bounds. I don’t even know where you’re originally from. Theoretically you might never get back.”

“Well thanks for the hope.”

“I said theoretically. You do still have residual traces of your home dimension on you, so someone could track you by the trail you’ve been leaving as you journey around. In addition you might stumble back into your home dimension on accident. Future prediction is a nasty business Ford. You never know when something good or bad might happen. You can only guess the chances that it might happen.”

“What do I do now? I don’t even know how to leave this room.”

“Well all I said was that I couldn’t quite get you home, right?”

“Are you implying that you can get me closer to home?”

“Yep, I’ll even let it be on the house for you. That way you’ve still got one wish left.”

It looked like Ford wouldn’t be back as home as easily as he thought. At least a wish and a push in the right direction would be useful.

“So where will you send me exactly?”

“You followed a certain vector in the 4th dimensional plane. I believe that I can pinpoint it, and boom, I’ll send you right back in that direction. You’ll end up closer to where you left from, but that’s really the best I can do here.”

“Okay, So about that wish…”

[Chapter 4]

I was going to suggest on the OP’s post how to *stop* the children playing in the trenches with the corpses, until reading through the reboots made me realize how funny it was. This one though, I felt the pain of, as I also had a 9 month campaign against giants birds that were slaughtering my peasants when I lived in a savage biome. The birds ruined trade caravans, slaughtered a dozen peasants and a few soldiers, and ultimately left me so demoralized I abandoned the world save until Adventure Mode came out, when I retired it. Apparently the military complex I made in my effort to combat the birds was then hijacked by the king when I left the fort, who turned it into a war machine of conquest and has since begun a war with 2 goblin kingdoms and 2 Dwarven kingdoms simultaneously. This fort was the ONLY REAL SETTLEMENT this faction had and its now a war machine decimating goblins and dwarves alike.

And I didn’t find this out until I started a new fort after a bit of screwing around in Adventure Mode, and went “Why is everyone at war with me?” And then discovered it was because my old fort launched about 8 “conquer and occupy” missions a year

I don't know what kids out there need to here this but

PLEASE STOP PLAYING MAKE BELIEVE IN MY TRENCHES! Goblins could appear at ANY MOMENT and every second you spend there is a second we're unprepared for their arrival!

Gabriel: Ladybug, Chat Noir. Enjoy your apparent victory, because as in all the best tragedies, triumph always comes before failure.

Chat Noir:

Chat Noir: Is that my dad??

That crystal temple has one of the coolest designs ever. Like seriously, that shits pretty cool. And I’m pretty sure that’s the three gems + Rose fused, especially with the eight arms. Anyway I thought drawing a vector of that would look pretty cool, and to colour what I thought the fusion would look like in action was also a cool idea. So I did it. And I think it came out pretty great. http://bumibomber.deviantart.com/art/Steven-Universe-Crystal-Temple-Vector-598008239?ga_submit_new=10%253A1458572346 As usual follow me on deviantart for higher resolution versions, cause tumblr’s auto-compress isn’t for everyone : http://bumibomber.deviantart.com/

Don’t act like pidge is not the favorite

This is so cute! If only this was how they’d done villagers in Minecraft, it’d be so adorable

Been in an equal minecraft and Animal Crossing mood so here’s some animal villagers designs for minecraft I thought would be fun!

At least the Mayor cares about some people's medical needs. Though a crutch might be more helpful

Limb-destroying sock

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make fanart for story: author will name first born after you, a pic of ur icon hangs above their fireplace

you know how ladynoir and marichat fics will always have some tidbit about “Marinette gets Chat Noir macaroons of his favorite flavor”? Well now we know what that it is. It’s passion fruit. The lore has finally been delivered and the age old question has finally been answered. Ladybug/Marinette brings Chat passionfruit macaroons.

being collectively screwed over by canon is vld fandom culture