Being Collectively Screwed Over By Canon Is Vld Fandom Culture

in an accidental one-sided reveal

Ladybug: Adrien?

Chat Noir, detransformed: Quick, act dumb!

Adrien: Who the hell is Adrien?

Adrien, internally: Not that dumb!!!

The Video Facial Discussion

Dib sat in front of his computer. He checked the time again, 3:37 PM, or 15:37 as they insisted upon measuring it. Honestly Dib actually did kind of prefer using military time as a system of measurement. It did result in notably less confusion than the standard everyone else went by. It helped to further reduce confusion when you worked the same hours that Dib did. In fact over the past week, Dib had spent arguably just as much time awake at night, as he did during the day, perhaps even more. He felt close to a breakthrough, though he wasn’t exactly sure on what. Regardless the time had come for another one of his progress reports, or “Verifiable Factual Debriefings” as they insisted upon calling it. Honestly he never quite understood all of the insistance of this repetition of these acronyms. Everywhere he seemed to look it was “VFD” this, “VFD” that. If they could figure out some way of phrasing it as a VFD they did. He honestly didn’t understand why they couldn’t just call it a video-conference or something. If anything, at this point the insistence on the VFD was more debilitating than anything else.

Regardless of his thoughts on their over reliance of the same acronym, they were due to call him in exactly 5 minutes. He wasn’t to get on the frequency earlier than 15:42. Well in 3 minutes now. He supposed that time could really get ahead of him when he wasn’t thinking about it. In fact it seemed like 2011 had just been a bust year for him. Dib hadn’t unrooted anything major conspiracy-wise, He hadn’t tracked down anything supernatural that was out of place or dangerous, and he hadn’t unveiled any secret plots by their enemies or even found any of their hiding allies. All in all, 2011 had been quite the terrible year for Dib. He still was no closer to unraveling the murders of the early 2000′s, or even finding out what happened to Zim.

He checked the time again, 15:41. He supposed he didn’t really have much time left to wonder about where Zim went uninterrupted. It wouldn’t be long before he had to get on the channel to discuss his progress with his superiors. And it was 15:42 right now, and just like that as he joined the channel the entire group of his superiors, all six of them appeared onscreen. Except that they didn’t really. All he could see, just like always, was their faces covered entirely in shadow. It was never any different.

“Agent Mothman. What is your status?”

It was technically the lead in rank asking him. He was always the first to ask, and it was always this exact same question. Dib knew best that he had to respond. “I haven’t found anything particularly new, revealing, or dangerous during my work here.”

Another voice spoke up,“Jeez then what did you even find Dib?”

This voice Dib actually recognized as his own sister Gaz’s voice. He could see her silhouette on his screen as well. It’d been a while since they’d been together in person, Dib wanted to say about 7 years or so, and her hairstyle hadn’t changed much in that time. “Like you’re one to talk Gaz. I’ve never seen you pull your attention away from a videogame long enough to make your own discovery.”

“Mothman. These attacks against your sister aren’t appreciated. You know exactly why she isn’t assigned to fieldwork like you are.”

Did mulled this over, it was about the 15th time they’d told him this in this year alone. Gaz was found unsuitable for fieldwork because she simply didn’t care enough to be out in the field in the first place. Instead they sorted her into the higher ranks with the idea that she’d be better in those positions because she wouldn’t have to actually do much. Then if anyone tried to pull her away from what she was doing, then she’d show them her scary side. He supposed this tactic worked well though.

“Mothman. Why are you even still out there?”

This came from the third voice, yet another man’s. Dib didn’t particularly like this man. In fact of his six supervisors, Dib only particularly like two of them, and they’d been rather quiet this time. Dib would have to admit though, he did know them best of all his supervisors, excluding his sister, though that relationship wasn’t exactly a good one. Gaz only really tolerated his existence at best. Those two however, in fact funnily enough they were married as well, he felt were they only people above him who respected him. In addition, they were pretty much some of the only surviving members from when he originally joined who hadn’t gone crazy, missing, evil, dead, or all four. Though his current leader was technically one of those.

“I’m on to something big here. Just give me a little bit more time.”

There was an audible sigh from the fourth voice, one of the supervisors he actually liked. “Dib, you’ve been searching here for the past 8 months. What really makes you think that this ninth month will be so much better?”

“It’s got to be, I can feel just how close I am to this one.”

It was time for her husband to speak up this time, “Look Dib, in all honesty it’s been really quiet here for a long time. We haven’t had any major incidents since” ----sssshcckck

At this point Dib’s screen went to static, and after fiddling around with the machinery for a bit he got the signal back. At this point most of the members just nodded at his return, assuming he more or less understood where the conversation had been going. Dib then held up a small rectangular box with a black screen and held it in view of the camera. “Why don’t we use these anymore? They are way more reliable than using the internet, and they’re more secure as well.”

It was the first guy again this time: “Agent Mothman, we no longer use the Farnsworth devices since the understanding of them was lost. Without agents able to replicate them, we can’t use them unless all members were able to have access to one. Since only a limited number of them were ever produced, as well as the fact that several of them have fallen into enemy hands as well, just serves to make them highly impractical overall.”

“Well Mothman. Do you actually have anything important to tell us or has this entire checkup been a waste of our time?”

It was the sixth of his superiors. Dib hated this one almost as much as he hated the first one. He never had anything nice to say to him, though none of them really did excluding the couple, and he always said it in such a cruel tone too.

“You guys were the one to assign me this checkup in the first place you know. And no, I haven’t found anything important enough to report back either.”

It was the same man who replied this time: “Well then Agent Mothman this call is over. And there won’t be anymore in the future unless we decide that we actually have a use for an agent as useless as you, because from this point on, your on your own.”

With that there were four clicks and everyone except the couple hung up on him. “What, Wait! You guys can’t just leave me like this! Man, I really hate that guy.”

Another sigh from the woman and then she spoke up: “Dib you know you can’t say that about your superiors.”

“I know, but he can really be such a jerk sometimes.”

It was the man this time: “Dib you can’t let him bother you. You have to be a professional agent. They debated just outright calling you back in and leaving you as a teacher of the new recruits.”

“I’m trying the best I can! You know exactly how powerful our enemies are and just how good they are at hiding. We wouldn’t even have the membership problems that we do have if they weren’t this good!”

“Dib what did I just say about being professional. I know that you’re a new agent, and me and my wife have been plenty patient with you and your progress. Unfortunately the council has not been, and you’re lucky that we managed to convince them to just let you go off on your own. And that wasn’t an easy argument to win either. Consider your freedom from the council, as well as your new freedom to investigate this as you see fit an early Christmas gift from us.”

“But I don’t have access to any of our equipment or resources anymore. Who am I even supposed to contact in the event I actually discover anything!?”

It was the woman who answered him this time. “Us. You know exactly how to contact us, in addition to where we live. If you find anything that you think needs to be reported, then call us.”

“Thank you. Are your kids going to get involved with the organization anytime soon?”

The two answered together with a firm “No.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, I’m just saying that I wasn’t much older than your kids are now when I first started in VFD. And they are going to join eventually. It’s kind of fate at this point to join VFD. I mean they could join alongside you guys now, it’d be more or less the best experience they could get.”

The woman sighed again before she answered. “Look Dib, I get that Dipper and Mabel are old enough to join, and we really do want them to. We just want them to do that when they are ready to join. We don’t want to just rush them right into. Anyways we have to go now. Bye Dib.”

With that the conference ended with a final click. Well he’d just been fired, and he was left with only two real contacts left. He couldn’t even call his sister since she insisted he didn’t know her number, since after all “Being your supervisor is bad enough already Dib.”

Since he no longer worked for VFD truly he didn’t have to worry about any of their restrictions they’d given him impede him. Without these restrictions he could finally go where all of his investigations seemed to point him. “Well it looks like I’m headed to Gravity Falls, Oregon now.”

Omht xdt fv jsh ytrm hojxhn, fqjykzw gjtu juhix.

Please tell I’m not the only one who instantly thought of this

why the fuck does english have a word for

but not for “the day after tomorrow”

???

I was going to suggest on the OP’s post how to *stop* the children playing in the trenches with the corpses, until reading through the reboots made me realize how funny it was. This one though, I felt the pain of, as I also had a 9 month campaign against giants birds that were slaughtering my peasants when I lived in a savage biome. The birds ruined trade caravans, slaughtered a dozen peasants and a few soldiers, and ultimately left me so demoralized I abandoned the world save until Adventure Mode came out, when I retired it. Apparently the military complex I made in my effort to combat the birds was then hijacked by the king when I left the fort, who turned it into a war machine of conquest and has since begun a war with 2 goblin kingdoms and 2 Dwarven kingdoms simultaneously. This fort was the ONLY REAL SETTLEMENT this faction had and its now a war machine decimating goblins and dwarves alike.

And I didn’t find this out until I started a new fort after a bit of screwing around in Adventure Mode, and went “Why is everyone at war with me?” And then discovered it was because my old fort launched about 8 “conquer and occupy” missions a year

I don't know what kids out there need to here this but

PLEASE STOP PLAYING MAKE BELIEVE IN MY TRENCHES! Goblins could appear at ANY MOMENT and every second you spend there is a second we're unprepared for their arrival!

First rule of ranged weapon safety is to have fun

Are you

[ ] - a man [ ] - a woman [x] - forever marked by what happened in Koganusân

Oh hey Space Princess what’s up?

hey look its me.

I like this. It has my seal of approval

TCGURU (thecraftinguru) 

his love for grumpycat, his style for Hawaiian shirts.