Hey Go Check This Out. I Should Get Something Out In The Next Two Weeks! Ask Box Is Open So Send Me Stuff

Hey go check this out. I should get something out in the next two weeks! Ask box is open so send me stuff cause im bored and want to talk to you people

The beginning

“Dark, I am afraid that I am unable to complete this task as my functions limit me.”

Dark heard googles words echo over in his head, displeased he may even need outside help for his goals. He straightened himself up once he heard movement from inside the house and next to him Wilford muttered an ‘about time.’

The door was opened by a man wearing a cap backwards, his hoodie was covered in hairs and his eyes had slight bags. Chase, if Dark remembered correctly.

“Come in,” Chase said sheepishly, “you can hand the umbrella up here…-”

“-Wilford.” The larger man offered.

“Yes, I’ll go and tell Marvin we have guests. Have a seat.” And with that Chase hurried off. Dark and Wilford sat down on the sofa and looked around.

“Homely place.” Wil stated, observing a photo of six smiling faces, Dark hummed in response, “are you sure he’s here, the place feels empty.”

“I hope so.”

Chase walked back in followed by a man with wavy pale green hair, he wore a cat mask and a cloak and they moved to the other sofa, nudging a pile of blankets until it sat up and revealed that there had in fact been a whole body there.

“Hey Robster, could you go hang around with Schneep and make sure he stops working soon.” Chase asked in a soft, almost fatherly tone.

The pale nan nodded, his white eyes glossy as if blind but he still stood up and meandered off. Marvin and Chase sat on the now vacant sofa.

“I’d hazard a guess that you two are Wilford Warfstache and Darkiplier.” Marvin stated, sipping tea from a cup that he hadn’t brought in with him.

“Just Dark will suffice.” He tried not to show his hatred of the name too strongly, but having a full name that linked him to that man, wasn’t something the being enjoyed.

“Well then, Dark,what brings you?”

“I wish to ask a favour of Anti.”

At that Marvin lost composure for a moment, his tea cup clattering noisily against the saucer he held, before setting them both down. Chase gave Marvin a look of concern.

“You’ve missed him by two days.” Marvin said, “it was unfortunate that it came to it but he was unstable. A danger to the collection. We, . . had to ask him to leave.”

Dark chewed the inside of his mouth, blinking slowly and giving no external reaction. He noted Chase was rubbing his left wrist, a nervous tick perhaps.

“Are you able to find him?”

“I can, although he never lingers for long.”

“Do it.”

Marvin looked offended to have been ordered by Dark, but placed his right palm over his left wrist and closed his eyes, mouthing some form of incantation. The other three watched and waited, Chase shifting uncomfortably next to Marvin whilst Dark sat stoic still and Wil remained relaxed back into the couch.

“He is in town, in the ally next to the butchers.”

Dark stood up, giving his thanks and flashing a smile before heading for the door. As a general courtesy he didn’t tend to transport himself into or out of other peoples spaces.

“Promise me one thing.”

Dark turned to face Marvin who had now stood, he raised an eyebrow in questioning.

“You don’t intend upon harming him.”

“No, we don’t.”

And with that Dark and Wilford stepped out into the night, before promptly blending with the shadows then disappearing altogether.

Chase put a hand on Marvin’s shoulder as he looked out the door.

“Its okay, he’ll be fine. I know you didn’t agree when we said he couldn’t stay, but he really wasn’t right.”

“I’m responsible for him. I helped him be.”

Chase nodded and closed the door for the magician, before bringing him into a hug.

—

Dark and Wil watched into the ally as a Glitching mass of green chuntered to itself. It was visibly a man with the same build as all the other septics, but his limbs were constantly moving, pulling at his hair, fingers dragging down his face or neck, hugging his chest, flailing in the open air. And all the time, arguing.

“We can’t go back they didn’t want us- we were Marvin’s own, we’re part of the col- damn the collection they abandoned us, couldn’t handle us- he created- he only made us this shell to live in, nothing more- what if he dislikes his creations- Robbie!”

Dark took a step forward and cleared his throat. The movement stopped and the man was now stood straight, and unsettlingly still, facing Dark, mocking Darks posture by having his arms behind his back. But his head was tilted to the side.

“What do they want from us?” He hissed to himself, “- Direct the question.” It ordered himself, before straightening his head and looking Dark in the eyes, “Can I help you or are you just passing?”

“Anti, I’ve heard you’re somewhat a technology expert. Unfortunately my own experts are… limited by their functions. I would like to request your help.”

“Help in what?”

“Accessing things.”

Anti seemed to pause, then he was facing away from Dark and muttering again, before snapping back to mimicking Darks posture.

“Well?”

“Will I be given anything in return.”

“Do you wish for anything?”

“Accommodation, and a promise you won’t turn on me.”

“What sort of bedding do you prefer?”

“Hammock.”

“I will make some arrangements, presuming you’re onboard.”

“Do w- I look like I’ve anything else to be doing?”

“I suppose not, consider it done.”

And just as the first two had appeared, the now three left. Although Dark felt that perhaps he was hasty with his decision, there was defiantly something odd with the septics.

Fly and Fall

Hey, look I posted something after who knows how long. This is just an angel au thing. Each angel is based on a species of bird and sometimes have stereotypes about them and how they interact, for example angels based on birds of prey are more likely to be violent to smaller ‘prey’ bird like finches

paring: Darkstache implied

TW: mentions of discrimination

Hawks where often seen as dangerous and should be avoided at all costs, especially by the smaller ‘prey’ angels. so when the canary Wilford Warfstache approached one, many would of called him crazy. The Hawk in question was a Northern goshawk with striped feathers which where clipped due o the law too prevent ‘predators’ from having too much power. He stood on the cliffs looking over the seas with a grumpy expression and a strong chin. His lips where in a thin line and his expression was unchanging as the pink haired angel made his descent down to talk with this handsome black haired man.

“Well hello, why such the miserable?” Wilford smiled pulling at his suspenders. The man lifted an eyebrow and looked the reporter over.

“Are you that idiot from the talk show? You seem quite brave for a songbird” he stated flatly.

“Awww, I’m flattered, yes I am Wilford Warfstache, the one and only” he smirked as he put his hands on his hips. The other man rolled his eyes “What is your name?”

“None of your business songbird” he hissed as he started to stalk away, Wilford started jogging after him with his wings tucked behind his back.

“Hey I’m calling you Darkie if you don’t tell me your name. Wait up!” Dark did not stop but instead sped up.”Oh come on!” he sighed as he also sped up to catch up with him. Dark whipped round and shot him a bone chilling look.

“Why do you follow me so persistently?! Do you not fear me? Do you not listen to stories how I could rip your pretty little head off? Or are you trying to mock me? A little songbird like you can still fly yet I can’t as I could cause ‘public distress’ according to the law, that’s why they clip our wings, to ground us, to deny us freedom of flight.” his wings were spread as if in an attempt to scare the other man off. The sea crashed against the cliff. The sky was clear and stars were slowly becoming visible and the moon was cold and bright.

Wilford scowled “I came down to talk to you, mocking is not my style, guns are, you seemed lonely down here and I thought my company would be appreciated, clearly not though” he put his hand back on his hips and swayed them as he talked leaning forwards towards this handsome man as he spoke.

“Well fly away then and leave me be you bothersome imbecile.” Dark turned away facing the edge of the cliff.

“Well for that comment I’m gonna stay just to annoy you.” Wilford smirked wiggling his bubblegum pink mustache. Dark looks up at him and pushes him off the cliff in the hope to get rid of the other man, he knew he wouldn’t die, his instincts would kick in and he would start flying, what scared him is when Wilford pulled him with him, the mans wings couldn’t possibly carry the both of them. The gray sea crashing on the rocks below drew closer and closer as the two plummet down. Wilford had wrapped his arms round him holding him so close to his chest that he could hear the others heart pumping with adrenaline as he flapped his wings as hard and fast as he could to try and slow their descent.

“stretch out your wings and help me” he shouted over the wind howling past their ears. Dark shot out his bent wings and tried to copy Wilford’s wing beats. They slowly rised and started gliding. Dark felt the wind pass through his wings and he closed his eyes and reveled in the sensation he thought he may never of been able to enjoy. The night’s air was cold against his head and the smell of salt off the sea filled his nose along with the bubblegum smell of the man who was holding him.

He opens his eyes and sees the grey waves below change to the grassy cliffs as Wilford steers them to land. As they landed Dark let go of a breath he did not know he was holding. Then he realized Wilford had not let go of him. He broke away and looked the man over, muttering an apology.

With that Dark walked away, leaving Wilford alone.

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thesquirreloverlord

4 years ago

I wanted train conductor dream ever since I watched the stream, thank you

CHOOCHOO

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thesquirreloverlord

2 years ago

Local dogboy denied howl, more at 7

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thesquirreloverlord

6 years ago

Racing Pigeon

Chase felt the wind batter his face and he zipped through the woods. He knew he was ahead in the race, wings beating quickly, tucking in to get through spots that where to tight for others racers through giving a head up during races. He was from a family of racing pigeon and wore his dad’s green race suit which fit him like a glove, a small skull embroidered on it.

He caught his wing on a branch and a grey father fell off his wing and a curse brushed his lips, this was a world wide known race, he was still shocked he made it this far. The wind whistled in his ears as he continued to swerve through the trees, heart hammering in his chest.

He didn’t expect what happened next.

A branch fell onto him. A big heavy mass of wood fell on him, a world class racer. He let out a yelp and felt a wing crack when the branch hit him causing him to plummet and pinning him to the floor, pain shooting through is body like hot, white fire. He took a few ragged breaths and tried to move. He couldn’t.

His breathing became faster as he started to worry, he could not seem to be able to get enough air in his lungs. His eyes watered and lungs stung. He wriggled and squirmed but was unable to move as each twitch of the muscles in his back sent waves of pain across his body. What if he couldn’t fly again? How would his family react, How would his Dad react? A Brody unable to fly, it would be a disgrace!

Something wet rolled down his face as he tried to hold himself still, still unable to breath his vision was going as fuzzy as his thoughts, black spots popping up. He couldn’t hear the surroundings, it was as if he was underwater, everything seemed so quite, so, distant. Breaths short and sharp and felt cold and painful, his head pounded. A sob escaped his throat at some point. He was alone, who would find him here? Was he going to die? He didn’t want to die. Thoughts swirled, he was scared, so bloody scared.

Then he noticed some movement. It was’t an animal, too big, well he hoped it wasn’t an animal because he couldn’t think of anything that big that was nice. It was dressed in a red t-shirt and dark beige shorts. He looked confused as if he had just walked upon him and a small determined frown appeared on his face

“Hey, I’m gonna try and move this branch, you think you can move?”

Chase nodded quickly, the sooner was off the better. The man came closer and chase noticed his short trimmed beard and mustache, His wings where neatly tucked and a woody brown, lighter on the underside. The man put two hands under the branch.

“Okay, 1, 2 ,3, GO!” The man lifted and Chase wiggled from underneath as the man dropped it on the dirt, both of them panting “Hey... I’m Jackie” the man- Jackie said.

“I’m chase, thanks” His voice was hoarse and weak with exhaustion and pain. His wing was bent awkwardly as the line of black feathers was no longer solid or straight. Jackie reached into a leather messenger bag slung over his shoulder and took out a water bottle and passed it to him.

“What you doing out here? I normally never see anyone when I go berry picking” Jackie asked as Chase took long swigs of water.

“I was racing, taking a shortcut” He said between sips. “Guess I missed the time to get to the checkpoint” he let out a weak laugh, Jackie just frowned. “What are you anyway?”

“A robin, why?” the other man had stood up

“Wait, a robin, how did you lift that branch?” Chase eyes widened. The other man just shrugged.

Finally Chase stood up, ignored the pain that shot down his back and looked round. All he could see was trees for miles but he had a sense of the direction he needed to go, he was a pigeon after all. The other man looked at him. “Want to get outta here?”

“Yeah” Chase replied, he had enough of forests today.

Tags

Jackie ego winged au jse egos chase brody jackieboy man septic egos chase jacksepticeye egos

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thesquirreloverlord

5 years ago

Was never a 11 year old

There are only two genders: never read homestuck and never read warrior cats

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thesquirreloverlord

3 years ago

Ok so I have a slightly weird question

I while back I remember you made a dsmp cursed lore masterlist and it was the best thing I've ever seen but I can't find it anymore? Would you happen to have it somewhere?

not weird at all! now... admittedly, I can’t find the post again myself BUT I sure as hell still have the original notes, so I’m just gonna copy paste it all here. It’s been updated since I first posted it even ❤️

canon things in dsmp:

- mpreg (x4) (tubbo, quackity, hbomb, ponk)

- quackity’s only had canon sex to our knowledge on purpled’s builds (the ufo and walmart parking lot)

- skeppy can’t read

- phil fucked a fridge

- wilbur fucked a salmon

- quackity gave birth to el rapids and schlatt is the father

- wilbur spent a month straight in the afterlife talking about hemorrhoids

- wilbur spent 9 years in the afterlife playing competitive solitaire

- fundy has three different birth stories, including: biological son of wilbur and a salmon, born asexually via wilbur’s toe, and died and was reborn like a pheonix as wilbur’s son

- God came down to build george a mcdonalds

- dream’s canonically a stripper

- sam and punz are also canonically strippers and have both given bad a lapdance

- karl and quackity constantly hit on badboyhalo, who is their fiance’s father

- related, quackity took bad on a fake date to practice for a real date

- dead wilbur has a fat ass from working out

- sapnap had a drug addiction and was called “cracknap” for a bit

- tubbo and ranboo married each other for tax exemption, when the tax never even applied to either of them to begin with

- sally the salmon was an accountant and her favorite color was brown

- it’s implied wilbur vored sally

- ranboo has no eyelids

- connor is the son of sonic the hedgehog and elise, from sonic 06

- gapples are a gateway drug and tubbo overdosed on them once

- jack and niki tried to assassinate someone with a nuke and missed

- bad is 9’6, skeppy is 2’2, ranboo is 8’5, puffy is 6’9, antfrost is 20’, and foolish is 23’3. dream, conversely, has no canon height

- eret was at one point involved in the karlnapity polycule

- the afterlife partially exists in the real living world that still-living people can stumble into, and it is a shitty gym that only has weights and doesn’t allow cardio

- schlatt, after dying, became a landlord/gym owner

- twitter and skype are canon

- eret has a nokia brick phone that somehow supports skype and can only hang up by throwing it into water

- techno has pet fish called betty. he doesn’t know why it’s called betty but just assumed it was lore important and kept it

- bad likes to steal blocks from ppl and store them in his enderchest

- quackity and puffy are both therapists

- muffin is canonically a slur

- “lemonberg” is a slur specifically in lmanberg

- the existence of dream, mexican dream, girl dream, and dreamXD where all are separate entities and mexican dream and girl dream dated before dream killed mexican dream

- schlatt was openly jerking off in the afterlife, likely in front of the other two dead people

- c!fundy is trans and c!punz has no canon gender and is referred to with both he and they pronouns

- the austin show, host of love or host, is canonically dead

- he’s also a literal cannon, apparently

- coconut2020 committed voter fraud

- there have been two different streams revolving around a character’s bath water. one of them is very lore important. in both of them someone drinks the bath water

- schlatt , wilbur, and fundy all smoke

- sam tried to steal foolish’s son

- charlie slimecicle got sent to space tied to a nuke (which has, sadly, seemingly been retconned)

- ghostbur and friend dated, but only in dutch. friend also is referred to with he/they pronouns

- puffy ended up adopting a child after a prank gone wrong

- bad and skeppy are literally soulmates, in that bad tied his soul to skeppy’s and he has infinite lives as long as skeppy is alive

- awesamdude also has a canonical fat ass

- quackity’s canonical fat ass is debated

- Schlatt’s last words were “flatty patty”, insulting quackity’s ass

- techno almost named his sword the coochie slayer bc he didn’t know what it meant

- fundy wore a suit colored in with crayons during the revolution. the reason it looked different from the others is because he didn’t have the expensive set with the right colors

- manhunts, smp earth, smp live, and mcm are all canon. the fundywastaken wedding is semi-canon, in that dream said it wasn’t but fundy said it was

- master oogway from kung fu panda is a major religious figure

- at one point, punz was turned into a chicken and had a baby

- the real spirit’s leather was used to make an item frame, the leather we see used as spirit is fake

- george and popular fortnite streamer ninja are married

- schlatt came to life once before, using his "matpat life", and died again

- schlatt’s body parts were sold at targay (gay target)

- jack once appointed himself king because no one else was on the server to stop him

- ghostbur has access to twitch.tv

- philza minecraft commits tax fraud

- karl’s real name is twitch.tv/karljacobs

- when techno isn’t streaming, he’s hibernating. phil sometimes pokes him with a stick to make sure he’s still alive

- tubbo is short for tuberculosis

- fundy learned how to astral project and walk on water and keeps finding new ways to fly

- foolish canonically spawned with a picture of buff dream

- trance music for racing game plays when dream thinks very hard on something

- fundy went to Australia to practice fire magic and hunt giant spiders, as well as going to Paris with wilbur when he was younger

- awesamdude got turned British by drinking tubbo’s bath water

- ranboo’s full name is ranboo my beloved

- ponk photosynthesizes

- The election was between “People Of Gaming” POG2020 and “Secretly We Are Gamers” SWAG2020

- puffy got her therapy degree from fiverr

- the warrior cats book series is confirmed to exist

- schlatt can’t swim

- awesamdude won miss America

- antfrost was high as shit the entire egg arc

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thesquirreloverlord

5 years ago

I was in reception, it was cool, the problem was they where never the right hight for the year group in that class y6 one was really low down and no one could reach the y1 one

That relatable (older) Gen Z memory: when all the projectors and white boards got replaced by Smart Boards™ around like fifth grade and none of the teachers knew how to use them but they Had To Use them otherwise the school just wasted a bunch of money and it was a rlly weird transition

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