Chaotic Neutral

I don't even use tiktok and I'm pissed as FUCK. What the shit?! Preaidents are for the people... dictators rule over them.

oh my god...

so the first screenshot is trying to look this up on tiktok normally, "donald trump rigged election" and it says that search violates community guidelines.

the second screenshot is looking up the same exact thing, but with a (australian) vpn on. canadian vpn didn't fix it fyi.

THIS is exactly the type of censorship to be looking out for on tiktok. this actually is crazy.

You guys lemme just tell you that my ex girlfriend who cheated on me like three years ago just texted me out of nowhere yesterday and said "hey we're learning about mutually assured destruction in our senior year high school class and just wanted to say that's what being in a relationship with you felt like" and I was emotionally destroyed but damn that was a good one. Will probably use it on someone else later.

Don't get me wrong I love the fics/comics of Alastor being forced on a date with Vox (either because he needs something, has lost a bet, made a deal etc. wtv the reason) and he's suffering the entire time because Vox could not be any less impressive.

BUT

I haven't once seen a fic with the same plot, only Alastor doesn't want to go out with Vox because the date will be abysmal, but because he KNOWS he'll have the BEST time.

Think about it, we know they were friends before the "sad and complicated" falling out, which means Alastor (who barely stands men in general) must have enjoyed Vox's company so much that he allowed him in his close circle of friends, so close he actually let him take a picture. And no one can convince me that Vox doesn't know Alastor like the back of his hand.

They've spent years together, Vox would absolutely know what Alastor likes and what he doesn't. He would make the date as good as possible if only to irritate Alastor in a "this is what we could have had you fucking idiot" or a "admit that you missed me fool". He will buy him the biggest bouquet of roses imaginable, he will take him to his favorite restaurant in cannibal town (yes, his stalker ass knows which one Alastor’s favorite is), he will intentionally choose topics of conversation he knows Alastor is interested in and avoid any he isn't (*cough cough* modern tech), he puts on that charming gentlemanly attitude Alastor always falls for, he will get that man drunk off his ass and will pull him to the dance floor like he's done countless times before. He KNOWS what to do to make him happy, he's done it for years. The entire night is like one nostalgic walk in the park, it barely takes any effort from Vox. And besides, Vox's entire shtick is ingratiating himself to people and telling them exactly what they want to hear.

And Alastor HAAATES it.

He HATES how pleasant Vox's company is and no matter how hard he's tried to forget their past friendship, he gets swept right back up. No amount of denial or masking his enjoyment can hide it. He doesn't want to go on that date because he doesn't want to forget why they're enemies, he doesn't want to slide all of that pent up resentment under the rug and simply forgive and forget.

(This entire thing is made so much funnier if it's witnessed from a third person's perspective eg. Charlie. This girl is watching Alastor moping and complaining about having to go with the "ridiculous, inane picturebox" on a date like it's the worst thing that's ever happened to him and *proceed twelve hours later*, Alastor and Vox barge through the hotel doors drunk, bloody, missing several pieces of clothing, clutching onto each other for dear life looking like they've had several near death experiences, with the biggest, brightest smiles on both of their faces while they laugh their asses off.(they probably committed mass genocide))

😳 <- this emoji but without the blush or romantic connotation. im not blushing im staring you directly in your fucking eyes

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

Shoutout to my dad who accidentally moved into an up and coming black lgbt neighborhood and was very disappointed to learn that all of his “new friends” weren’t actually interested in how to use iNaturalist or where he saw coyotes on his walks 😔🙏🏻