How Do You Feel About Timmy Playing You In The New Willy Wonka Movie?

Good morning, early birds!

Rise and shine, tired eyes!

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Homemade dinner guaranteed to taste better than ya mama's cookin'!

Indian style chicken and vegetable tray bake; sweet potatoes, courgettes, peppers, onions, cauliflower and fennel to start, tossed in oil, cumin and turmeric. Chicken pieces marinated in garlic, ginger, garam masala, homemade smoked chilli sauce, and lime juice. Roasted for 45 minutes then added broccoli, chopped garlic and tomatoes. Finished off for another 15 minutes and then served with a few dollops of raita (yogurt, mint, cucumber and coriander). And to wash it down, Verdi Spumante white sparkling wine, imported from Italy.

Look at those beautiful, bright colors. Those crisp veggies. That succulent, tender chicken.

Who said I can't hold it down in the kitchen? No one? Oh, I thought so. Ha.

When you ran away from home and your dad wasn't there when you went back how did you survive like what did you do? Where did you stay after that?

I didn't have any nearby family where I used to live, so temporary housing with relatives wasn't an option. While browsing around the local candy stores one day, I saw a man through a window pulling taffy through a taffy puller. I would visit there frequently, as he would engage me in conversation, give me food and allow me to stay out of the cold. He eventually found out I was homeless and offered me a place in his home. I then studied his candy making process and earned my own money by helping out as a hired stocker and assistant at the store, and that's when I started to create my own concoctions of candies in the back room and at home after school. Over time, I had saved up enough and used that money to invest in opening my own corner candy store, took and passed the Chocolate Manufacturing exam with flying colors, and the rest is history, really.

Please don't die, I can't afford to bring you back.

Yo haircut stuuuuuupid af what did you think when getting your hair cut with a fckn booooowl

First of all, my haircut isn't stupid, yours is. Matter of fact it's probably dry, basic and straight with split ends, no style, volume or curl. Just dreadful and more lifeless than a dead rose. 😌

You strike me as the guy who casually wears bathrobes in the morning and on wellness sundays.

Oh yes, I have many bath and night robes made from the finest satin and silk. And velvet. If you gotta work hard you might as well be comfortable while doing it!

I just ordered a few more this week.

Round and round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows! Ha ha!

Welcome to the Chocolate Factory, the place where if she doesn't like chocolate then I don't want her. Ahaha! I kid, I kid. But seriously. Look at this baby stir.

While some of you are closing your tired little eyes to sleep, we're up whip-whipping it, boxing and shipping it! ✨

I'm sorry for our little fight earlier. This new herbal tea I'm drinking has me acting strange. Emphasis on herbal. I think Alice spiked it

All is forgiven. And since we're apologizing, I'm sorry for telling Edward that you're a no good gap tooth tea-drinking scallywag. Heh.

I'm not sorry for my comments about Alice, though. I stand by them, and now you see what I mean for yourself. She's clearly got you tripping off the herbs. What is it this time? Opium Poppy? Tsk tsk.

You said you would read a book for us but the original asker never said what book they wanted you to read.. so can you like leave some voice clips on my ask, it can even be quotes?

I would post more to further entrain you but I'm afraid there is a one video limit. Maybe I'll read a book in the near future, someone requested If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, haha! We'll see.

If a girl's coochie smells like tuna fish is that bad for men? Asking for a friend 😅😐😶🤐

I think m-maybe that's a q-question for your gynecologist, dear girl.

...Heh...yeah. Gynecologist.

I'm not a doctor. I'm a chocolatier. I make chocolate. 'Kay?

Wait when Augustus fell in your chocolate river you said it was hot chocolate right?

Yes, hot melted chocolate. Oddly enough, I think he got the worst of it. Could have left him with some serious burns. He did tell me that he now has skin discoloration from the chocolate peeling off in pieces with layers of his skin, and now he's afraid of Wonka bars. Haha! Can you imagine?!

That's what you get for being greedy.☝️😌