Wait When Augustus Fell In Your Chocolate River You Said It Was Hot Chocolate Right?

How do you feel about Timmy playing you in the new Willy Wonka movie?

I'm delighted for Timmy! I congratulate him on the role! I'm sure he will do my story justice!

Anyone ever told you you look like a young johnny depp?

Never heard of him.

Did you plan for all the kids to get hurt in ur factory.

The Oompa Loompa songs were a bit too detailed.

I’m on to you sir!

No, I didn't, life just has a funny way of serving karma. They wouldn't listen to my warnings so they paid the consequences. My Oompa Loompas are very talented at improvising songs, they're quite intelligent and creative. Seriously, those snot-nosed brats weren't harmed, merely altered. Ha.

Yeah. They just love those roast beef sliders. Practically begged me for some.

I thought it would be safer to just take them to Arby's myself since they can't reach all the buttons needed to fly the elevator.

You said your middle name is Winslow and my middle name is kinda similar it's willow 😂😂😂

And I like your bedroom and your smile and cheekbones. Your really feminine and handsome and sexy which is my type but im too young and you probably gonna be disgusted that Im 16 bye

That took a left turn quick! Haha!

But seriously, ew.

Good morning, early birds!

Rise and shine, tired eyes!

🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩

Go ahead. You caught me on a rare occasion, I'm rarely ever in a gossiping mood.

I didn't know you was good friends with Santa clause. I'm late. But I bet you and your oompa loompas be getting the holiday hookup special. All types of little cute outfits and tailored coats and supplies. You know good and well your behind should be on the naughty list after what you did to them kids but Santa still be putting you on the nice list in trade for cookies and chocolate 😂😂

Oh yeah, everybody know the Clauses and their worker elves here at the factory. They like to visit during the winter for a tour and a nice dinner in our big dining hall, and they just love having hot chocolate near the fireplace. Fortunately, Santa never learned about the little factory mishap so I was never put on his naughty list. That's a secret, a slightly dirty one, but so what? We all have at least one. And it's not like any of what happened was my fault anyway. I'm quite an angel, if I do say so myself.

How old are you we wanna know? #questionsthatkill 😭

I found a silver hair, how old would you consider me to be? That's the big question, my dear.

Goodnight!

🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩

🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩

Oh yeah, forgot he was tagged. 😅

@wilburwonkasblog Some awfully and recently constructed tumblr (maybe bot?) page promoting dentistry products and healthcare was following me and now they've mysteriously disappeared! I only noticed because they were selling dentist related stuff, and you know how I feel about that stuff. I hope that I can trust it wasn't you, no, you wouldn't do that. Especially not now?

You said your middle name is Winslow and my middle name is kinda similar it's willow 😂😂😂

And I like your bedroom and your smile and cheekbones. Your really feminine and handsome and sexy which is my type but im too young and you probably gonna be disgusted that Im 16 bye

That took a left turn quick! Haha!

But seriously, ew.