Oh-

I just started my period and I'm cramping so I'm laying in bed watching your sexy self act crazy on tv, eating sugar cookies, and drinking ginger ale to help my stomach

Ew. TMI.

But yeah, feel better.

But grandpa joe said he worked for you 20 yrs ago

Yes, and 20 years ago I would've been 22, when he was working at my store on Cherry Street.

This is why I don't go to Starbucks.

🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩

Augustus, if we were friends you would eat me...😒

Would you like to be friends? 😁😄😃

Ha ha...no.

Because you see, most people aren't going to put the same amount of effort in that I do...and that is the biggest form of rejection to me. The worst kind, actually. Friends let you down, or people you trust betray you and steal your secret chocolate recipes, why should I want them? Besides, The Buckets, Hatter and Edward are my dearest friends. I have no more tolerance for others. Maybe you should ask Edward, he told me that it gets lonely up in that stuffy castle sometimes, and unfortunately I can't visit often. He lives quite the distance and my factory is demanding.

I hope I'm not bothering you I have a few questions?

1. What's your favorite color?

2. Chocolate or coffee?

3. Why are your eyes purple?

4. Can we see your bedroom? If you don't want us to that's okay lol

5. Have you ever thought about getting married and having kids?

You're not bothering me at all, it's no problem really.

1). My favorite color is either gold or burgundy. Pick either.

2). Chocolate, of course. Believe it or not, I'm not a huge fan of coffee. It stains your teeth and can give you bad breath and anxiety. I don't understand the obsession with it, but to each their own.

3.) My eyes are in fact not purple, they're brown. Rather than color, I believe the purple tint you're seeing is due to reflectiveness, depth and dimension. All that science-y stuff. That's been a topic of confusion for quite some time.

4). I'll have to think about it. I'm not very fond of my privacy being invaded.

5). No, I've never thought about it. The Buckets are like family and my Oompa Loompas are like my children, honestly. I don't think I need anything more than that. I'm very content with the way things are now here at the factory. ☺️

U have an onlyfans?

Isn't that an app primarily used for soliciting money in trade for nudity? If that's the one then no I don't, it's disgusting.

You kids these days are really something else.

I just joined and your the second person I followed 😂

Oh.... Why wasn't I the first? 😒

I hope that you're still coming to the picnic this weekend?

But of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world, dear Edward. ☺️

Ooh, that reminds me! Do I need to bring anything? Cups, cake, drinks, chocolate?

I kinda already baked the cake, I hope you don't mind strawberry fudge whipple delight...topped with whipped cream, heh.

Go ahead. You caught me on a rare occasion, I'm rarely ever in a gossiping mood.

I didn't know you was good friends with Santa clause. I'm late. But I bet you and your oompa loompas be getting the holiday hookup special. All types of little cute outfits and tailored coats and supplies. You know good and well your behind should be on the naughty list after what you did to them kids but Santa still be putting you on the nice list in trade for cookies and chocolate 😂😂

Oh yeah, everybody know the Clauses and their worker elves here at the factory. They like to visit during the winter for a tour and a nice dinner in our big dining hall, and they just love having hot chocolate near the fireplace. Fortunately, Santa never learned about the little factory mishap so I was never put on his naughty list. That's a secret, a slightly dirty one, but so what? We all have at least one. And it's not like any of what happened was my fault anyway. I'm quite an angel, if I do say so myself.

What do you like to eat besides candy. I’ve always wondered if you ever ate anything besides sweets 👀

Surely you didn't assume that I eat candy for every meal, my dear?

I enjoy steak, fish and vegetables quite often. Turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce are a favorite. Tropical fruits too. Oh, and popcorn! Except that's kind of a hassle to eat, those little kernels can be so darn annoying!

But can you imagine the state my health would be in if I ate candy every day? That's a horrible idea.