And Then She Realised, Her Efforts Were Being Ignored, Because She Couldn't Acknowledge Someone Else's

To be Known, To be Lost

I broke free Too tired to survive in monotony Too tired of being recognised, known to anybody.  The urge to just disappear lingered,  To become a part of something new,  To feel new, to dissolve, to be lost completely. 

But in the process of, Filtering myself to feel unique, Escaping to gain my own autonomy, The desire to belong, My willingness to surrender, Made me realise that I was nothing more than a selfish body. Transient beings, their desires - ugly.  To be bound, to be known, to be contradictory.  I confined myself to have nothing, But a fleeting identity.    

Sculpted

I sculpted it With the desire To reshape something I could never fix To create something I could never become To make it distinct from me To let it live my every dream

But it wasn't the only one coming to life With it I was reliving I was being crafted in the process of crafting I was creating it to recreate me To give it life to live mine To feel complete

Displaying it one day, The audience seemed to be smitten with its beauty But it refused to believe them It refused to believe me It refused to love itself It refused to be Caressing it, I reduced it into pieces Only to realise, The molds I had used were once used on me, I had created nothing but me.

~ark

Falling

I was falling, Deep into the air. It felt like I was flying, Descending in the layers. The ground would catch me, Why would I fear? Numerous hands tried to save me, I was just flying, why do they care? My excuses came to an end, I wish I would've dared. But, even if I held someone's hand, How do I assure myself, That those hands won't leave me, In the middle of somewhere.

~ark

Saw a baby take his first steps today. With trembling steps, the baby walked. His sparkling eyes were filled with joy. The hands of his mother swung in his direction yearning for him to complete the distance and hug her. Increasing his pace, he ran towards her only to fall to the ground. As his eyes looked around, he saw no disappointment, no judgement, he was not a failure.

Everyone's smiling faces, reflecting confidence in his capabilities, made him stand once again. Discovering his strength, with love for his mother, he traced the path and fell into her arms who swung him in the air overwhelmed with joy as she witnessed her son's first step, first failure and first success of his life.

Chaos.

My mind and heart are always in chaos. Their conflicts are my contemplations, their silence my dilemma. 

Their contradicting desires to fulfil a single temptation, their yearning to solve something unsolvable. And that’s what keeps me going. Thinking, understanding, then losing it and then reassuring. 

For the cycle to go on, they must stand at opposite ends so the boat doesn’t sink.

They must act parallel to walk together until my last breath.

But then, how will peace be achievable? For how long must this war go on? One must find content, one must feel fulfilled. 

We choose how we live. Life is a series of them, like every mountain followed by a valley. Pain followed by bliss, riot followed by peace. Read it backwards and the perspective differs. 

And at every turn, isn’t every choice, a war of wants?

Peace isn’t constant, a result of constant choices rather. Choice to stay silent and then speak, choice to find peace in war or war in peace.

Thereby, I choose to find solace in conflict. 

Between heart and mind

They must be against each other so that I can stand against the world.

Blinded Eyes

I trusted my eyes blindly,

I guess that's what humans do.

But my illusion shattered,

As the pigments of lies,

Reflected the fictitious truth.

The light was biased, I believed,

But its innocence was trapped in an endless loop.

Refusing to bow before the unproven facts,

I decided to perceive it with a different view.

I tried to become a pigment myself,

Reflecting my sins into actions my apathy sew.

But the law of the cosmos remained constant,

I surrendered, confessing to my vengeance's coup.

~ark

In the search of peace, I became deaf. When I wanted to live, I chose death.

~ark

The Crack

The crack on the wall, I saw that day, Said something much deeper that words can’t convey. The lightning that struck upon it, Painted a ray. Divided by the misunderstandings, They drifted further away. The birth of hatred, Murder of hope, The wall, once considered sacred, Was now held by a weak rope. One wanting to stand alone, The other trying to find a way to escape, They were united by the ink of trace. Needing each other to outgrow the phase, The canvas of peace reflected the colours of mistakes. They stood together at the same place, Bleeding by the broken pieces of the trust’s vase.

~ark

Diminishing Hope

I let myself suffer,

With intentions that were never pure.

Standing at the piedmont of growth,

I felt my feet frozen, unable to move anywhere.

My eyes scanned both the ways,

Walking onto which, my survival would be declared.

Afraid of the extremes,

I chose to never try, I turned away with shun ears.

Lacking the courage to fight for my life,

I stood freezing gradually, I faced my fears.

Melting by the newly found energy,

I became essential, drops of water to be shared.

Known to the fact of being fatal,

I returned from my illusions unreal.

In the diminishing hope of reality,

My pain defined me,

The master of my endless prayers.

~ark