I Think Often How We Overuse Words. And How Because Of That, Words That Had Potency And Weight, Sometimes

It was already dark, but with clouds like that I'd say it made it even darker. It had stopped raining earlier in the day, so I figured that they were just passing through to whatever destination clouds go when they leave you. But at 12:53, a streak of lightening flashed across the sky, and in that moment it seemed the clouds had remembered that they were saturated, heavy with water, and it started pouring. The temperature was so low it became ice on the ground in an instant, and it brought the whole outside company to a halt. I smiled knowing you were at your house in bed, warmer than I was in that moment. "Frozen Lightening" I thought, what a sensation. Something similar, Id say to what it felt like to touch your hand.

On days like this I can see Autumn is nearing. I think about that Robert Frost poem, "So Dawn goes down to Day, Nothing Gold can Stay". The house will soon be warmer, the trees a little more brown, the leaves changing shades and colors, the sky always a bit more overcast, a sun more orange than yellow. Personally I think about Apple Slices, Cinnamon, Allspice and Plum Cake. And recently in this house, I have had the pleasure of hearing Owls. "Her early leaf's a flower; but only so an hour." He describes an entire season of our lives as Only so an Hour. A breath on a breeze compared to a lifetime's run. I think about Shelby Eatenton, and what she says to her Mother in Steel Magnolias. "I would rather have 30 minutes of "wonderful" than a lifetime of nothing special." Nothing Gold can stay, But I am so thankful I get to live in a world where I get to experience something as wonderful and special as an Autumn Day.

I have actually yet to find rest. My Anxiety causes me much pain and distress like a storm that rages with usurping gales. Swirling, Turning, Tossing, displacing what cannot be lost. Costing me negative gain. It makes me fearful and afraid, like trying to clutch sand, only to have the grains slip out of your hands. I cannot find sleep, because all I feel is deracine. Safety is hard to find out there on the rollings seas. My peace is in some far off Rosy fingered dawn. And security and ease of mind are much more memories. It makes me breathe like no matter how much I intake it will not inflate in my lungs. Like my body would much rather pause on this breath, like it means less than to see the rest of the road. All these worries they share the same name. They are called the same as you.

It's midnight. And you have fallen asleep on the couch. I got the chance of feeling the warmth of your hair again. My love, I am sorry. I will love you for all the days I am blessed with. It is your absence I will ache with. It is with great pride I can say I have loved, and loved honestly.

There is nothing I want more than to be aged and grayed. With a porch and chair faced towards a sitting sun. A garden where there is always work to be done. A kitchen with full complements and recipes. Adorned with Wooly Blankets and Knitted Sweaters. And sharing my life with a spouse who is in love with and is loved by me.

Damn the stars that shine. Damn the lies that were mine. Damn the lover’s love.

People will envy your strength and success but not the struggle that brought you to it.

Look, I don't know which one of y'all need to hear this right now. But just because something comes back to you doesn't mean it was always meant for you. If you just regurgitated something, you wouldn't put that vomit back in your mouth would you?

Lemongrass in the Summer Sun. Just as bare feet dance so beautifully on the browns of the earth. A water hose then becomes the plaything of two people. Laughing Laughter that can still be heard.

Not even Poetry within all it's meter and form, within all it's unstructured beauty, can adequately capture you.

Night after Night I lie awake. Eyes closed; Mind spinning with Fractured Verses.