I Usually Don’t Do Younger Clients But This 30 Year Old Black Client Blew My Back The Fuck Out 🥵

Sometimes, I remember the time i was 17 when i started sex work. I was ambitious but clueless. Fast forward to today. I can now say it’s time for a old rebrand. New year old hoe.

Are you a green witch?💵💸💰This is a money spell: sending good vibes so you can pay your bills and buy something nice. Like to charge, Reblog to cast!

2019 is very personal, i owe myself alot.

Only fans 🙄

Only fans really didn’t approve me. Should I just make another Twitter then try again?

I just wanna be a whore again 😐

10 Questions to Ask a Pot, BEFORE Starting an Arrangement:

Its more common than we admit, that when we first begin to communicate with a “rich and generous” Pot, that we tend to tread lightly as we don’t want to (or are scared to) rock the boat. In my opinion, thats just bullshit. If I’m putting my time, my body, safety, energy, goals and dreams, plus my physical and mental health on the line, you better believe I want some answers first before crossing any lines and agreeing to any arrangement.

It’s important to ask thought provoking questions (not just the make-us-look-cute-small-talk kinda questions) and to really pay attention to their responses. Are they sincere, well thought out and organized answers or are they taking pick-up lines straight out of a book that could possibly be called “How To Get Laid For Free”

If I was talking to a Pot (or any man or woman at any stage) and they were offended/outraged or even hesitant to answer any of the questions listed below…that would give me something to think about. After-all, its not like I would be asking them to start a formal judicial hearing…I just want to know what I’d be getting myself into. Plain and simple.

1) Why are you looking for a Sugar Baby, and not a girlfriend?

* Maybe he doesn’t fully realize what a Sugar Baby is, and just thinks you’ll be a girlfriend that he has to pay for all your dinners together and get the popcorn while you’re out at the movies? It’s happened before. This is a simple way to put it out there, that there is going to be a definite difference between you and a girlfriend.

2) So far, (because its still new) what is your favourite aspect about me?

* This is important. If he is blunt and says “its your intelligence”, then go get some current news articles, or popular and classic books and stay informed my friend! If he says “its your athletic ability”, take him out to play beach volleyball on a nice day, or go to the gym together for a date. If he says “its your chest”…well then, that’s up to you to either play it up or smack him. In my opinion, I would do whatever I felt worked to keep him hooked…but without affecting my self esteem or self worth. His role is to help lift you up in life, not hold you down.

3) What are 3 passions that you used to enjoy and what are some new ones that you currently do?

* This will give you an opportunity to enliven some of your dates by sharing his past passions with him, and by making sure that even if you don’t enjoy his current ones…that you make the effort to either watch or participate in them for him. He will feel valued and it’ll help strengthen your bond if you can connect with things that he enjoys. Who knows, maybe he has given up on certain passions in life because his wife or current girlfriend hates them. It’s an easy and fun “in” for you.

4) What goals are you working towards now?

* A man without a goal(s) is a scary thing. There is not one person in this world who can honestly say that they have completed all of their life’s goals and can now sit on their butt, twiddling their thumbs for the rest of their life. Goals do not need to glamorous, extensive or expensive. They can be the very smallest of things, but to me, a person without a goal has no drive, lacks motivation and doesn’t have that “gusto” in life that I’m looking for. PLUS, if someone has no goals or lacks the desire to create one…how can I expect them to be understanding of, and to support me in achieving mine?

5) If we were ever seen out in public together, how would you want me to handle the situation. What could I expect from you?

* I have had this talk before with my SD, and thankfully so! There have been times where we have been out together and we have run into (or close to it) someone that we knew. Thankfully we don’t play in the same social circles, so it helps to limit our chances. One of our easiest “cover stories” is manageable because I am his daughters age. If someone comes up to us, I politely say something like this “Oh, I’ve kept you long enough. Please tell Tina that I said hi, and it was nice running into you!” And then I politely make my way somewhere else and just send him a text of where I am or whatever it is that I’ll be doing to keep me busy until he is in the clear. And I wait patiently. I do not send 20 texts and carry on a conversation with him. At this point in the game of privacy…I no longer exist, right ladies?

6) If we were to have a “sleep over”, would you be ok with me taking some time to myself? What do you feel would be an appropriate amount of time to ourselves before coming back together?

* Trust me, if you’re like me, you’ll want your own space so that you have time to relax, unwind, clean up, catch up on texts/messages, have a nap, enjoy a tea etc. He may be the type of person who doesn’t want or need to have time apart, but that doesn’t mean that you should hide/ignore your need for some space. If you do not have some sort of understanding beforehand, it could get ugly if you begin to get annoyed at or with him. I most definitely need my “me” time and I’m very upfront about it. Its simply easier to have the conversation and expectations agreed to BEFORE you decide to spend 24 hours together.

7) When we text, are there certain words/language/innuendos that you’d prefer to avoid?

* If he is the “nervous first time SD” or if he has a curious wife/spouse, you may need to help him feel at ease, by stating that you respect this part of your arrangement and that you want to work with him to keep any suspicions to a minimum. It could help to relax you and him, if you both know what the rules and expectations are when communicating. You don’t want to be saying things like “Ok sweetie, I’ll see you tomorrow and I’ll wear the red dress you bought me. XO”…and his wife has access to his phone. That could back fire on you both, not just him. It’s simple and easy to create code words/sentences. For example: if you want to say “Thinking of you, good night”, you could say something like “I’ll see what Jackson says tomorrow”. And you’ll both know what it really means, and if anyone happens to pick up his phone and read it, its harmless and safer to cover/explain.

Remember not to take it personal that you are a hidden aspect to his life, that sometimes you’re simply not allowed to exist, that you are a “secret”…because you are. Do you want him as an SD or not? There are just some things that we need to put our pride aside for and do to keep their lives running smoothly, so that our lives do as well.

8) If I ever needed extra financial help, for whatever reason, and I felt that I wanted/needed to ask you for your assistance, how would you prefer me to ask? Subtly or straight to the point?

* Some men are turned off by feeling like a bank machine, while others get turned on by it. It’s important to know which kind of response you could expect from him by asking for extra help. This way, you’ll have a better idea of how best to use your allowance when you get it. If he’s not the easy going-extra-help-kinda-guy, there is nothing wrong with that at all…it simply means that you need to prioritize your wants over needs and use your allowance, or money that he does give to you, responsibly.

Some arrangements have more wiggle room for “extras” while others are based on strict numbers and rules. If you do feel that you are going to ask for extra support…start small and assess his responses/reactions to you. You’ll get a feel of whether you should push the boundaries or simply enjoy the benefits of what you already share with him. “Don’t throw away a dime in search of 10 pennies”.

9) What is the safest way for you to give me my allowance, so that you don’t feel stressed each month in trying to hide it from your wife/girlfriend?

* If he doesn’t know what’s the safest way, he may be a ping-pong ball while he uses/tries different methods and amounts, until he can get it all figured out. This actually does take some time to plan safely and effectively, and most new SD’s don’t give it the due planning that it requires. Are you going to be patient and understanding with him? Or are you going to start heckling him and demanding quicker transactions? Either way, it’s best to have a conversation about it, and get it all sorted out before your allowance day arrives, and you have 3 bills to pay…while you’re waiting for him to do a google search on “email transfers”.

10) I recently watched a documentary on the Sex Industry and I’d like to hear your thoughts and opinions on both those who offer their services and on those who seek them?

* This is an easy opener to get the ball rolling for more questions on this topic. It will also give you some insight into his biases, narcissism and his general opinion on where you stand in your “arrangement” with him. Is he negative towards the Sex Industry or is he a whatever floats your boat kinda guy?

So…that about sums it up for today!

Of course, I realize that there are a ton of other questions that you could ask a Pot/SD etc, that all relate to things like allowance amount, allowance frequency, sexual expectations, gifts or no gifts, sexual health history, previous Sugar arrangements, any marital issues that he is seeking your comfort/assistance for etc etc, but at some point I need to stop today lol. I’m actually missing one of my favourite shows to write this. So, I hope that this list helps in some teeny-tiny way, and if anything, it gets your mind thinking of other possible scenarios that you may want to consider before agreeing to an arrangement with anyone.

Good luck ;)

Do you have any tips/advice for: getting at least mid range to higher quality clients, getting a higher/steady volume, and any newbie escorting tips or advice you would share with a rookie? Posting Ads really seems very sketchy with the political climate the way it is and freestyling can be really hit or miss when you are starting out. Thank you!

When you’re starting out, you have to price yourself to the location. Unless you’re marketing to a specific area, or if you’re in a huge city, you’ll probably have to start out a bit lower. I would recommend starting lower (not low!) just to get a feel for escorting. High-end is a different game and no one really taught me how to play it until three months ago. Now I’m playing it by ear. Higher quality clients don’t do hourly bookings and I didn’t realize that until recently either. Big spenders want full GFE for hours on end. Trust me: don’t say you do GFE but only want them to fuck and leave. You need a good persona & to immerse yourself in it.

If you’re not sure about advertising (I’m not either because of all of the stings), you can freestyle. Freestyling doesn’t always have to be in person. You can freestyle on Tinder, Hinge, OKC, Pure, Niteflirt, Fetlife, anything that isn’t strictly for escorting. I have a good friend who pulls clients off Tinder. If you have a good bio and know how to market yourself, you’re gold. Watch who you’re matching with for telltale signs of a cop though. Set your location in areas that cops can’t afford. If you’re freestyling in person like at a bar, the way to avoid stings and to avoid lower end clients is to go to highly expensive areas on weekdays when no specials are being run to places that aren’t known for hoeing. Don’t dress indecently. Befriend the bartender, they know where the regular big spenders are and when they go. Tip them well and chat them up. When it comes to speaking to a potential client, you don’t always have to allude to something sexual either. You can talk freely (with your persona on of course) with a few flirts here and there and give them your card with your site on it. I do the same when I’m chatting up a stranger who looks well to do and could be a potential client. I personally don’t mention money when I’m freestyling anymore because it’s hazardous and I see that now. I’d only attempt it in Monaco. Men who’re interested in you will look up your site and see what you’re about, and nothing was illegal about that exchange. :-) How many clients you get based off of this is directly correlated to how much work you put into it. However, from experience, it’s better to have a few regulars than barely any regulars and a lot of new cats coming in.

The key to keeping steady clients if you’re doing GFE is to make it the best damn experience they’ve ever had. Plan it out like it’s an event! Make it special for them. It sounds cliche but they truly just want to feel cared about. If you feel like a girlfriend to them, they’ll keep coming back. So beyond sex, just talking with them, going places with them, massaging them, or even cooking for them (real shit, I knew a girl who did this) makes them feel like the money was worth it. I have regular and VIP prices. My VIP prices include things like a massage, penpal services, or any skill I have that would make them feel loved. Regular prices are GFE of course, but not as specialized. If you have any similar skill put it out there!!! Make yourself truly unique. Like, my cursive is beautiful, so after an overnight, if I’m tryna shower and he’s still asleep, I’ll write a note to him. Something cheeky. I lay it on THICK. I even remember all the details they tell me so upon our next meet I can ask them about it. I’ve made some cookies and bought them gifts (under $100, it’s nothing compared to what they pay me tbh) personalized to their tastes. They like to feel like you’re present. Like a genuine girlfriend they can travel with and spoil without baggage. That’s where the big money comes from, and it’ll keep coming if you treat them like the love of your life when you’re together.

As for tips: make sure you always get the money first and make sure it’s real. Have them give it to you in an envelope, book, or card inconspicuously. I prefer books, adds to my erudite profile. Don’t forget screening at ALL. You need to know exactly who they are. Real clients know you aren’t about to dox their information or anything. Zabasearch and Stud or Dud should be some of your best friends. Never let them tie you up or put you in any position you can’t get out of. Bring your own condoms, they might poke holes in theirs or they might be expired. Check periodically to make sure the condom’s still on. If they’re trying to position you a certain way again and again, there may be a camera in the room. Make sure to check for one and ensure that both of your phones/laptops/whatever are off and far from reach. That’s why I have a heaux apartment I rent out—because there will never be a camera in my own place. I bought detectors for that. Stick to your persona as well! Make sure you don’t contradict yourself. If you have to write down the fake shit write it down, but keep it in your brain. Keep a hoe phone, hoe number, hoe name, hoe email (protonmail is key). Make sure your photos don’t show ANYTHING identifiable. Some girls don’t use the blur feature well enough. And don’t host your site or servers in the US, that’s foolish with SESTA/FOSTA. Just ensure that whatever information you’re putting out can’t be traced back to you at all. Keep a taser, knife, or gun on you and know how to use them. Always let someone you trust know where you are so they can check in with you.

That’s all I can think of.

self concept affs:

“pretty girls always get what they want and I am a perfect example of that.”

“my presence is a present.”

“I am always the top priority, nothing and no one comes before me.”

“I love myself unconditionally.”

“I am important, I am deserving and I am worthy.”

“I never seek the validation of others for fulfillment because I am already fulfilled within.”

“I am completely secure with myself.”

“abundance is my nature state, my success is inevitable.”

How do you stay safe while being a sugar baby. That is my biggest concern.

Normally I’d just send you a link to A-Pinch-Of-Sugar-Please’s blog, buuut since she’s a psychotic bitch, I’d be happy to help you out.

BEFORE MEETING:

Invent fake facts about yourself. Create an email address specifically for sugaring and only email them there. Get the Google Voice App and create a phone number to text/call men from distinct from your own. Use a fake name for the first few dates. List the next town over as your location on your profile and never tell them the actual college that you go to — especially if it’s small! If they ask what your parents do for a living, make it up or be vague. Once you’re super comfortable with them, you can tell them “Oh my name’s actually Katherine, not Katelynn” or even give them your real phone number if you want to as I often snapchat with NASA. But he’s the only one of my SDs who knows it as Google Voice works flawlessly and the others don’t really need it. 

On an opposite note, get as many details as possible about him from him or through background searching. If he tells you he’s the CEO of Apple, go to Apple’s website and confirm that. Also, invest in a Spokeo Account. Don’t be that annoying SB who begs girls to look men up for her. A lot of girls only buy the monthly plan which has a search quota so if these girls are kindly looking men up for you, that’s less POTs they can search for themselves. I think it’s like $49.95 per year and it’s well worth the money for the amount of information it gives you. You can reverse search his phone number, email, name, etc. to find out his address, income, family members — anything! I love to find their children’s names then look them up on Facebook to see how they live. Riding horses on vacation in Santorini as your cover photo? Okay, I’ll break bread with your dad tomorrow. Little Ashley’s making duck faces and wearing Abercrombie? Sorry, John, I’m actually no longer searching for an SD — best of luck!

Get as many photos as possible (5+) from a man you’re talking to so that you can reverse search them and find out company info, criminal history, or if he’s on any other sites to cross-check age, location, and other facts on the profile you first saw him on.

Before a first meet, Skype with him (for 5 to 30 minutes) to again make sure the photos he sent are of him and not some handsome model on JCrew’s website (guys on SD4M do this all the time — you’re not slick)! While you don’t want the skype date to replace the first date, it is a good way to keep and/or build up his interest and by revealing yourself in 3D and decreasing his chances of cancelling/flaking on you. New SDs in particular often get nervous by the whole process, especially if they’re married, so if he sees “Wow! She’s gorgeous/real/funny/witty/ and excited to see me Thursday!” he’ll be more at ease not only to go through with the meet, but to spend more chedda. Moreover, a Skype date can show you “Wow! He’s an asshole and begging me to slide the camera down to my boobs.” So you can know way before you spend hours on hair and make-up that the date will be a waste.

NON RED-FLAGS:

Need for discretion. If a man doesn’t tell you much about himself, his job, or his life, is using a GV number or a fake email, is going by a fake name, it does not matter at all. 9 times out of 10 I show up to POT dates knowing the results of their latest colonoscopy while they think I don’t even know their name. Focus on the steps above and let them think they’re slicker than you. Nigerian Prince never told me his real name. I knew it from 5 seconds after he emailed me, but I played along and feigned ignorance because I knew he was safe and rich and whatever other secrets he kept from me were irrelevant. After our first date, he revealed his real career, location, (still not his real name) etc. and I’d already known it all, but, like us, he was simply wary of giving too much info to the wrong person. My favorite is when a guy emails you from his real email using a fake name. “Inbox: New Email from Steve Jobs” “Hey it’s Mike!” lmfao Hey Mike! Whatever makes you comfortable enough to meet me for dinner and pay me. All this being said, sometimes a man’s “need for discretion” makes it fucking impossible to find out anything from him. In that case, I say “While I respect your need for discretion, it does not trump my need for safety and I would not feel comfortable meeting you for dinner without…(at least a skype date)(as many photos as I’ve sent you)(information about XYZ)(etc.).” If he refuses to accommodate, he’s blatantly disrespectful of your safety concerns and he’s not worth your time.

RED-FLAGS:

Asks for sexy photos. You really need to make sure your profile photos are serve their purpose and depict what you look like from head to toe. If you only include iPhoto face shots, that’s dandy but you need a full body shot of you in a cute outfit and I also always include a bikini shot. Nothing raunchy, just a fun day at the beach. If they’re asking for sexy photos and you already have full body shots on your profile, then kindly end it because they’re 12 year old horn dogs stuck in 45 year old bodies. But if your photos suck and they just want to confirm that you’re not Shrek, then you need to amp up your profile and oblige.

Asks your favorite position, kinkiest moment, sex history, what you’re into etc. There’s no space for immature, tacky, desperate rapid fire sex questions in the sugar bowl. At its core, sugaring is about companionship, chemistry, and fun times. If he needs a rap sheet of what you will and will not do in the bed room, then he should call up a pimp and ask for a very specific hooker. Even if you tell him this and he apologizes and stops, you still know that that’s his main incentive for joining this site so he’s probably looking for pay for play but has too much pride to admit to wanting a prostitute. If you’re fine with 4 hours a month with this man for however much you agree on, then boom! You just landed on easy money. But if you’re looking strictly for a sugar arrangement with outings, dinners, etc. then you need to move on. But be mindful that a lot of these men might be into BDSM, so if they ask specifically if you have interest in that then that’s not necessarily a red flag so much as them not wanting to waste either of your time. If you do say yes, however, and he presses you with sex questions, he’s equally guilty of the above offense.

Sleezy username/bad grammar. If “Hotsex69” messages you, you already know what he’s there for. He’s not a sugar daddy. He’s blatantly looking for pay for play.

Takes offense to your precautions. A lot of men will quickly realize that you both have iPhones and that your messages aren’t coming up blue. If he questions it, let him know straight up, “I’m using an app called Google Voice so that I don’t have to share my real phone number with strangers. Once I’m comfortable enough with you, I will give you my real number and you can reach me there.” 99% of guys completely get it and think “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that. She’s smart and safe and not full of shit! I can tell a lot of guys have wasted her time and I don’t want to be one, so I better step it up if I ever want the honor of using iMessage with this hottie!” The other 1% will cry like little bitches and be like “We’ve hit it off thus far! Don’t you trust me?!?” If he honestly thinks trust can be fostered after a few email messages, he’ll be equally pissy when you don’t have sex on the first date or when you reject his marriage proposal on the second date.

Insists on meeting for just drinks. 10:00pm drinks at the hotel bar so you can get drunk and then go upstairs? Um no. In a fun way, tell him you’d rather meet for dinner at this great restaurant you’re dying to try yada yada. I had this one guy come back at me with “How about we start with drinks and if we hit it off, then we can get dinner?” Lmfao why?! I literally see no incentive to that besides wanting to roofie me. If you’re that awkward and can’t be around a younger, more attractive woman without drinking then let’s drink at dinner. Have 10 glasses of wine with your food. I don’t care. But if I’m getting dolled up, I’m eating food. You are not skimping out on buying me dinner and you are not roofie-ing me and you are not getting me drunk so you can drag me back to your lair. I do too much damn cardio to drink my calories. Buy me dinner, you fuck.

MEETING:

Meet in a public place and STAY in a public place. Stroll in Central Park? Awesome! He wants to wander past the “DO NOT ENTER” sign and show you this ‘amazing view of the river’? Nope. Restaurants, coffee, theater — doesn’t matter as long as you’re surrounded by witnesses.

Have your own transportation to AND from a first meet. And from. And. From. AND FROM!!! Not “Oh I took a taxi here, but let me save $10 and go home with him — he was so funny and obviously legitimate!” Even if that’s true and he’s a sweetie and who he says he is, these men never need to know where you live. (Notice I did not say never should know. Doctor knows where I live and that’s fine. But he doesn’t need to.) If you ultimately decide you’re comfortable with having an SD over at your apartment, then that will come after several dates, not the first. Plus, the chase is half the fun for him. Don’t reveal all of yourself too quickly. For this same reason, never get into his car on the first date. Besides just safety reasons, you don’t want him to feel like (physically and mentally) that he has you 100%. Leave something to be desired.

Tell someone where you are and who you’re going with. If you’re close with a friend or relative who is non-judgmental, make sure they know where your date is and when you’ll be back. Otherwise, find a resource on here (I’ll gladly help you out)and text them (from your GV number) where you are going, when you get there, when you leave, and when you are home. Whenever I get in an SDs car for the first time, I always text my sugar friends his license number.

Some SBs insist on staying sober. I like to drink and I can handle it, so I do. But definitely don’t get drunk. It’s sloppy and unattractive but will also distract you from your goal of setting an allowance/arrangement in place and getting to know this man better. Plus, it will impair your judgment and prevent you from remembering the rest of these safety tips.

NON-RED FLAGS:

Doesn’t bring a gift or cash to the first date. Stop being so entitled. At this point, he owes you just as much as you owe him — nothing.

The car he drives. The $3000 allowance of a man who drives an Aston Martin is just as green as that of the man who drives a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Offers you a ride there or back. He might genuinely want to save you the hassle of travelling. Most of these men are fathers and have that protective instinct. It’s 9pm, dark out, she’s waiting for a cab, this is nonsense, I’ll drive her. It’s not a redflag that he’s trying to be a gentleman, but either way, maintain your stance and politely decline.

Awkward behavior. Steve Jobs gave brilliant speeches, but outside of that, the dude was awkward as fuck. Nonetheless, he was richer than God. If a guy reaches to hold your hand on the first date and you don’t want him to, just say, “John, I’m having an absolute blast but I’m just not comfortable with that yet.” There’s no need to flip out and write a post saying OMG THIS GUY WAS SO CREEPY HE LIKE TRIED TO RAPE ME BLACKLIST!!!!! Doctor is the most awkward guy I’ve ever met in my entire life. Like him, many of these POTs were valedictorians of Harvard who went on to spend the next 8-12 years of their lives accumulating degrees in the dungeons of the Ivy Leagues. They lack sunlight and social skills. It’s okay. That doesn’t mean be wishy-washy when he tries to cop a feel. No. Be firm and put him in his place. If he makes you excessively uncomfortable, end the date and don’t pursue another. But if he stutters or can’t maintain eye contact or holds eye contact for too long or snorts or recites how beautiful you are or has a creepy smile, that doesn’t necessarily make him a potential serial killer.

RED FLAGS:

Talks about hotel time, private time, intimate time, ‘getting away’. There will be no sex on the first date. There will be no sex on the first date. There will be NO SEX on the first date. If he thinks dinner and a few hundred dollars gets you two “alone time” at the Ritz Carlton, then send him packing. Be blunt and embarrass that loser. Literally say, “John, I’ve had a blast getting to know you thus far but I have zero interest in trading sex for lobster and a gas money. I’m a lady who is looking for a gentleman with the means to provide for her and support her. If you’re only interested in sex in exchange for money, then you’re looking for an escort, not a sugar baby, and a second date would be a waste of both of our time.” Scare the shit out of him and make him realize just how crass and pathetic he’s being. You wear the pants. He’ll straighten up very quickly, or realize that you’re right and head down to the corner of main street instead.

Cringes at the bill or what you’re ordering. If he can’t afford lobster, desert, or how many drinks you’re getting, he can’t afford you. This is an absolute no brainer. Even if he says he can afford your $3000 monthly allowance, if it means he’s going without food, laundry, or anything else just to afford it for you now, there WILL come a later when he leaves you hanging. A real SD loves to treat you and doesn’t care if you buy the bar!

Switches stories. It’s one thing from initially stating he’s in finance to getting more specific about which sector or region he works in, but if yesterday he was CEO of Apple and today he’s a professor, he’s probably full of shit. Don’t be afraid to call him out on it. “I thought you said —-?” Learn the dynamics of body language and be able to discern when someone is lying or hiding key information from you. He could very well be the manager of the local K-Mart hoping to spend as many free dates with you as possible before you catch him in his lie.

Insists on anything. If he’s choosing your meal for you, forcing you to ride home with him, or backing you into a corner in any way, ditch him. If he’s that pushy on the first date, he’ll be even more pushy on the second or on the third because you let him win this time.

DATING:

Use a condom.

If you don’t use a condom, get tested regularly together and show each other the results.

RED FLAG 

Doesn’t meet allowance. If he owes you $500 per meet and misses a meet, he needs to bring it to the next meet, or else he’s breaking the terms of the arrangement. If it’s the end of the month and he shows up without allowance, he needs to send it to you/bring it to the next meet, or else he’s breaking the terms of the arrangement. Do not let him get comfortable and think of you as a friend or girlfriend. This is a SUGAR ARRANGEMENT. Do not let him treat you like something that you’re not and get sloppy with the reason why we’re here.

Wants to meet your family. Doctor still insists on introducing me to his sisters. Eck. Whatever. But he’s never meeting any of my family. I am not your girlfriend. This is not a relationship. We have no real future together. Read this haiku. It is the anthem of the bowl.

Insists on not using a condom, trying XYZ in bed that makes you uncomfortable. As always, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with and let them know. A real SD will put his desires aside for your safety and comcort. If he’s being pushy in bed or otherwise, he’s not there for your best interest.

NON-RED FLAG

Asks about your personal life. It’s not weird for a man to want to know what classes you’re taking or what’s new in your world. He’s not being creepy or nosy, he’s just curious about what makes you tick. He shouldn’t be prying into if you have a boyfriend or anything super specific, but don’t get weirded out if he asks a lot of things about you.

Asks for sexy pics or texts suggestively. After you’re intimate together, this really is fair game to ask. As always, you need not oblige, and if you do, play it safe and don’t include your face or use SnapChat. But just because he’s thinking of sex more doesn’t mean he’s still not invested in being a sugar daddy. If it makes you uncomfortable, say so. If he’s a true SD, he’ll respect your boundaries and get over it.

Is affectionate in public. Just because he likes to hold your hand and kiss you, doesn’t mean he’s thinking of you as a girlfriend and less of an SD and forgetting your arrangement. If PDA makes you uncomfortable and you need a bit more discretion, let him know. But just because he likes your soft skin doesn’t mean he’s going to propose and leave your arrangement in the dust. He might just like your soft skin.

Hates shopping. Not surprisingly, a lot of men hate shopping, especially for women or with women or in women’s stores. So just because he’s not buying you louboutins doesn’t mean he won’t give you the money to buy them yourself. 

IF YOU REMEMBER NOTHING ELSE, REMEMBER THIS:

Your token line is: “I’m not comfortable with that (yet).” Don’t be wishy-washy! If he wants to have sex and you lie and say “Oh uh I’m on my period” he’ll just ask again the next time. Instead, be honest and be firm saying you’re not comfortable with sex, riding in his car, his hand on your leg, meeting his mom, etc. etc. etc. Drop this line WHENEVER you need to say no. It sets the tone that you are the one who sets the boundaries of the relationship and that those boundaries will not be crossed. If a man ever persists against something you’ve blatantly stated makes you uncomfortable, then you know it’s time to end things.

Never let the prospect of money trump the prospect of danger.

Why do people even wanna dox someone?

Just honestly mind your own pussy 😂