I'm Literally In An Abusive Relationship With Myself, I Constantly Belittle Myself, And Put Myself In

Somehow, despite my best attempts, I doubt I will ever be content with my own company.

I think there will forever be some part of me who yearns for that standard teenage friendship, you know? The late nights, the car rides, just the opportunity to have someone to talk to.

I’m so used to being second place- the friend they sit with when the others are away, the one they call when no one else picks up, that despite my best efforts, I can never see myself as anything more than a placeholder.

I’ve never had the high school dream. The friends, the parties, the relationships. Just the overwhelming sense of discomfort. The recognition that despite my best efforts, I will never be seen as more than the “fat friend”.

The moment you actually start thinking about suicide again after being okay is so painful

the worst part of love is that i remember it. i walk around all day thinking: i'm going to die in this universe you loved me in. i get so jealous of euthanized dogs

-june gehringer

𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫

I love my scars

"erm that leaves scars" Thats the best part

I need him but he doesn't even want me.

being suicidal at a funeral is the weirdest thing ever.

thoughts be like:

damn this is sad. they say all those nice things… would they do that for me too? who would come to my funeral anyways? what flowers would they bring? what would the speaker say i did in my life if i never really did anything. i dont want to see my grandma cry but damn i want to be dead so bad but what a bad person am i? its so selfish to want that!

Realizing that the ppl you make time for can’t find it in themselves to give you even a second of their time has gotta be like top 5 most heartbreaking things to happen