thisfeelswrong

Latest Posts by thisfeelswrong

Bpd is not being able to love yourself unless someone else loves you, but never fully believing that they could actually love someone like you.

Where do i go if nowhere and no-one feels like home anymore

I think I wanna get better but what if I'm no one under all the mental illness?

Maybe what you need isn't someone to love. Maybe what you need is to feel wanted. Maybe what you need is purpose, because loving them makes you feel like your life is finally worth something. At the end of the day, maybe it isn't really about them after all.

Just saying

the tragedy of tumblr is you will inevitably meet people who you should be having a sleepover with. you should be rolling around on their floor and rummaging through their fridge and watching shitty movies with. you should be shopping with should be going out to a cafe with should be wandering through the aquarium with. people who you should be experiencing quotidian joys with... and you cannot! because they live one million miles away

Living with bpd means feeling like someone thrust their hand into your chest and ripped out your heart just because they looked at you wrong.

"you can unmask around me! I'm supportive" no you don't understand I will literally ruin this friendship in a day. I will just be a complete asshole. masking is the only way I can interact with other people

I am a masterpiece of contradictions: too much and not enough, fragile and fierce, desperate for love but terrified of it

I think something that is tough about BPD is being in a relatively good place in life and still feeling the destructive urge to end it all.

“Where do you see yourself in the future”

Bb I don’t. I do not. I do not see myself. There is no future.

Does anybody get in that mood where if you don’t absolutely destroy your life in the next 5 minutes you’ll spontaneously combust

i feel like a doll sitting on a shelf waiting until someone wants to play with me in order to feel alive again

"if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" babe slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

“whats your name?” - call me scooby cus i can’t doo this anymore

I never think it’s paranoia.

The sexual tension between my skull and the wall is absolutely insane.

My brain is trying to latch onto something that might make me feel alive again, even if it’s a pathetic fantasy. It’s hard to sit with numbness. But deep down, I know nothing can fill the void I feel deep within my soul—that void that keeps getting deeper to the point where it will consume me one day. It’s hollowing me out from the inside, and I’m watching myself fade, but I don’t have the energy to stop it.

I’ve tried so hard not to let my depression define me, not to let it become my identity, but unfortunately, it has the upper hand. It controls everything—it has become me. Depression is so loud that I can’t hear anything else; it drowns everything out. I tried to convince myself that depression wasn’t me, that it was simply happening to me, but I failed. Depression has won. It has erased me completely, and it doesn’t seem willing to loosen its grip.

I miss the era of my functional depression now I’m just bedrotting. At least with functional depression I could still do things, still pretend, still have sense of normalcy. Now it’s just this heavy paralyzing nothingness.

The moment you actually start thinking about suicide again after being okay is so painful

Always end up back here when I need to feel something