Thisfeelswrong - This Feels Wrong

It’s really weird growing up, because now I don’t tell anyone anything. As I know deep down no one wants to hear what I have to say.

Realizing that the ppl you make time for can’t find it in themselves to give you even a second of their time has gotta be like top 5 most heartbreaking things to happen

Rejection. It’s all I’ve ever faced my life. From lovers, from family, from friends, from opportunities to success. I kept going. Kept thinking maybe it just wasn’t right. But I’ve reached that threshold where my fragile heart can’t take it anymore. Each time I get rejected now, it’s like some squeezing my heart and shattering it into uncountable pieces. It makes me feel small, worthless. Like every cell of me was created to be hated. To be looked at with resentment and disgust. Who could love you, my brain says. Look at you, you sorry being. So peculiar. So unlovable but so desperate for love. Wish I’d realize the only solution is to be alone. It’ll be lonely, it’ll hurt but I promise you it won’t burn like when you are rejected. If only I could kill that tiny ray of hope and give up. It would save my life.

Idk if thats a bpd or a me thing

a little comic about missing major milestones, feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure, and the brain worms of it all

bpd feels like you’re constantly begging for affection because normal amounts of affection doesn’t feel like enough

Live or die; life or death; Should I kill myself or make myself a coffee?

Being near me is not a privilege, it’s a punishment

BPD math: they said I can come "if I want" instead of "you should come" so that means they hate me and they wish I was dead.

I hate getting close to people.

The more attached I am, the more unstable I become.

But... I can't handle being alone either.

It's agony no matter what I do.