Theres nothing more disturbing than being self aware while you have severe mental illness. Like I’ll be breaking down, bleeding out, about to off myself and then remember that normal people don’t do this shit and any sane person would go to the damn hospital.
I wanna burn down every single bridge I built cause I’m tired of being the only person that makes sure it doesn’t fall apart
i apologies to anyone who ever has the displeasure of trying to love me.
"u look tired" dawg i'm going insane
*me, still insane* “I used to be sooooo crazy “
People really think I'm joking when I say my emotions get so intense that I believe the only way out is to kill myself.
I dont think I can do this much longer, it hurts too much
I ⠀ want ⠀ to ⠀ be ⠀ loved ⠀ more ⠀ than ⠀ I want ⠀ to ⠀ be ⠀ alive ⠀ .
Being near me is not a privilege, it’s a punishment
Having bpd is literally the worst thing ever. A mood swing can hit you literally anytime any second of the day. You’re literally at the mercy of this fucking illness. Does it care that two seconds ago you were having an amazing time with your friends? No. Does it care that no will understand why you’re frowning and sitting in a corner when you were literally laughing two seconds ago? No. It doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone. Not one thing. It just consumes you. And makes you hate yourself for being like this because there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing.
TW: lots of dark and uncomfy topics but if you're here that's probably what you're looking for ... I hope that someday we can both find a way to be ok.... I don't care what that way is.... whatever finally brings peace 20 years old
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