LMAOOOO 

OMFG

I MADE SOMETHING TERRIBLE

RANT RANT RANT!!!!

New episode(ep 33) of Valdemar route wasn't loading at all!!! so I kept closing and opening the app then I reinstalled it as a last resort!!! But!!! my!!!! account!!! lost!!! all!!! data!!!

hearts that i collected from logging in daily so i could donate it to Ronelle!!! GONE!!!

the new Valdemar episode that I wanted to play!!! LOCKED!!!

ok so while writing this I checked my account again and thought REALLY HARD cuz when you have an account your data is saved automatically.....but mine's gone....so it's possible that I didn't log in at all in the first place?

was about to blame it all on dorian but nvm

my contribution to keeping the PH miu404 fandom alive

Yay

Lil mustache

Stan Azuki for clear skin and free therapy(and a little bit of angst) P.S. This is a draft from months ago but I forgot to post it

UGHHH as much as i want them to get together already, I think Aya’s reaction is valid because keep in mind Aya doesn’t know what Mizuki thinks of her and doesn’t know that all those flirty(?)/sweet lines said to her was a desperate attempt of Mizuki trying to keep up the image of a cool guy persona or smth like that, hence why she always goes, “WHY DID I SAY THAT OMG” after saying those lines cuz it was never intentional(I’m not certain about this cuz idk if Mizuki’s feelings towards Aya is romantic, and she’s actually subconciously or conciously projecting it)

As for Mizuki, I relate to her in some aspects, like not being able to find the right timing in talking to an extrovert alone, not being able to wear flashy things you like in school cuz you don’t want to be the center of attention, overthinking and being anxious, being intimidated by popular extrovert kids, and so on. What she did was understandable but not justifiable cuz she was aware that Aya had a crush on her guy persona and still decided to keep up the act and unintentionally(and this is really important to take note of), toyed with her feelings. 

In Aya’s eyes, a classmate whom she wanted to be friends with turns out to be the “guy” she liked, and was completely aware of that fact, and still kept talking to her pretending to be a guy, being the witness to her blushing flustering girly side which she never showed to any guy in school; she felt deceived, embarrased, and betrayed. 

They need time to gather up their thoughts and feelings for now, and I want Aya to get the apology she deserves, and for Mizuki to clear up her misconception about how Aya thinks of her.

Anyways about how I think they’ll reconcile, look at this art the author posted before on twitter:

It was captioned, “Just me, the two of us” LOOK AT THEIR CLOTHES THEY’RE BOTH WEARING BLACK THEY’RE MATCHING AND IN THEIR OWN LITTLE WORLD 

So yeah, I’m thinking that the way they’ll reconcile is through music, rather than direct communication 

Here are other arts the author posted on twitter captioned, “’...Sorry, I thought you noticed, which made it harder to talk to you even more...’" I THINK THAT’S GONNA BE MIZUKI’S LINE WHEN THEY RECONCILE AHHHHHH

So here I think, Aya already knows Mizuki’s identity, and keeps looking at her, waiting for her to say smth, and Mizuki keeps avoiding eye contact

Then here we see them both flustered, cuz Mizuki made the first move in attempting to reconcile through music(see how they’re sharing earphones) then she says the line in the caption 

That’s it for my ramble, anyways stan Azuki(idk their official ship name)

Me, first time listening to “Six” just vibin to the beat

Me, after looking up the lyrics then hearing it again: 

Me and my brain just few mins ago for no reason:

Brain: I thought of a dance to go along with the jazz frog song

Me: that’s nice, am washing dish-

Brain: You gotta do it after you’re done YOU GOTTA ITS SO GOOD

Me: aight im do-

Brain: OK NOW DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE

Me: *dances*

Brain: ok that was cool so do you aspire to be a milf who cooks too much on purpose so she could share with everyone and always comes up with cute nicknames to call people like, sweetiepie, honeyboo, tatertots, etc. outfit styles ranges from country girl to badass stripper and acts extra af

Me: 

Me: omg how did you know-

Brain: well duh also hey check this out *dissociates*

My thoughts on why Ash didn’t get help after he was stabbed (TW: mentions of unaliving self, seggsual abuse)

I think Ash had wanted to die for a very long time, although there’s no indication that Ash has self-harmed(I only watched the anime) whenever his loved ones is put in danger, he doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice himself, and I think one of the reasons for that(besides him caring deeply for them) is he is suicidal, cuz ever since he was a child, he was sexually abused and taken advantage of by sick perverted men. 

Spending time with Eiji did give him comfort and but his whole life he was abused, manipulated and raped, over and over, I’m no therapist but I’m pretty sure Ash isn’t mentally stable after going through all of that, and I think it takes more than a caring, loving and selfless person to heal Ash’s wounds. (I’m not saying Eiji didn’t change Ash’s life, Ash loved Eiji for sure) Eiji did give him hope in living so I think that’s why Ash rushed to the airport when he saw the ticket, in that moment, he did want to spend his life with Eiji. 

Sadly, he was stabbed, and I think that triggered Ash’s suicidal thoughts, cuz come on, that stab wound was treatable. Ash survived a gunshot wound before, stab wound is no big deal for him. My theory is while he was running, he was imagining the life he could have with Eiji in Japan, but *STAB*   

He was brought back to reality, and he was reminded of the countless people he’s killed and that died for him. He’s being chased by police, gangs, criminals, and Lao is only one of them, What if those people would chase him even when he’s in Japan with Eiji? Will they easily give up just because he’s travelled to another country? What if his friends he’ll leave behind get hurt and held hostage by the gangs, then demand Ash to return? Will he be able to move on and start a brand new life with Eiji in Japan happily? 

Bleeding, he finally decided to give in to his suicidal thoughts. He chose to not get help and bleed to death. 

ok here’s why I think suicidal thoughts is what drove him to do that. First of all, he could’ve gotten some help and STAY, Eiji wasn’t forcing him to live with him, Ash could’ve be like, “Yeah, I can’t live with you, but you can come visit me from time to time, ok? love you” that way he protects his gang friends, and Eiji is in a safe country so no need to worry for him. 

Ash was an insecure, suicidal, traumatized poor boy.

So yeah, this is my theory, and I don’t blame anyone for the outcome of the story no matter how sad it is, because they all had their reasons. 

ang inet