RANT RANT RANT!!!!

Helluva Boss yo

I can’t properly describe how good it is cuz of my limited vocabulary but it’s great and I can’t believe that it’s free to watch on yt

My thoughts on why Ash didn’t get help after he was stabbed (TW: mentions of unaliving self, seggsual abuse)

I think Ash had wanted to die for a very long time, although there’s no indication that Ash has self-harmed(I only watched the anime) whenever his loved ones is put in danger, he doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice himself, and I think one of the reasons for that(besides him caring deeply for them) is he is suicidal, cuz ever since he was a child, he was sexually abused and taken advantage of by sick perverted men. 

Spending time with Eiji did give him comfort and but his whole life he was abused, manipulated and raped, over and over, I’m no therapist but I’m pretty sure Ash isn’t mentally stable after going through all of that, and I think it takes more than a caring, loving and selfless person to heal Ash’s wounds. (I’m not saying Eiji didn’t change Ash’s life, Ash loved Eiji for sure) Eiji did give him hope in living so I think that’s why Ash rushed to the airport when he saw the ticket, in that moment, he did want to spend his life with Eiji. 

Sadly, he was stabbed, and I think that triggered Ash’s suicidal thoughts, cuz come on, that stab wound was treatable. Ash survived a gunshot wound before, stab wound is no big deal for him. My theory is while he was running, he was imagining the life he could have with Eiji in Japan, but *STAB*   

He was brought back to reality, and he was reminded of the countless people he’s killed and that died for him. He’s being chased by police, gangs, criminals, and Lao is only one of them, What if those people would chase him even when he’s in Japan with Eiji? Will they easily give up just because he’s travelled to another country? What if his friends he’ll leave behind get hurt and held hostage by the gangs, then demand Ash to return? Will he be able to move on and start a brand new life with Eiji in Japan happily? 

Bleeding, he finally decided to give in to his suicidal thoughts. He chose to not get help and bleed to death. 

ok here’s why I think suicidal thoughts is what drove him to do that. First of all, he could’ve gotten some help and STAY, Eiji wasn’t forcing him to live with him, Ash could’ve be like, “Yeah, I can’t live with you, but you can come visit me from time to time, ok? love you” that way he protects his gang friends, and Eiji is in a safe country so no need to worry for him. 

Ash was an insecure, suicidal, traumatized poor boy.

So yeah, this is my theory, and I don’t blame anyone for the outcome of the story no matter how sad it is, because they all had their reasons. 

Yay

LMAOOOO 

Why lessons on reproductive system should be taken seriously:

1. It provides foundation knowledge on understanding sex, sexuality, reproduction, and all that good stuff

2. So that when you want to joke about the hair of Mrs. Everglott in the Corpse Bride looking like an upside down ballsack, you will lessen the chance of mistakingly calling it a testicle instead of scrotum, because testicle is the thing located INSIDE the scrotum that looks like an egg, in which then when you realized your mistake, results in you overthinking it for the rest of the day, wanting to turn back time and call it the proper term this time, prevent the misinformation that testicle is the ballsack and the fact that you didn’t use the right grammatical number because testicle is singular it should be TESTES or TESTIS at least. 

I just realized that not laughing at suicide jokes doesn't mean you're mentally healthy I'm still a depressed patata😭

KAIMELIA IS CANON OMG IM SO HAPPY

Yet another AO3 bot situation - please spread the word!

Hi, it's me again, the person who wrote that viral post about fanfiction plagiarism! Today I'm here to warn you about abuse perpetrated by bots who have stolen AO3 usernames.

There's currently an epidemic of bots going around leaving (apparently random) horrible, hateful comments on people's fics. This isn't the first time bots have invaded AO3, but the big problem with this wave is that they're using real AO3 usernames to do it.

I learned about this when another writer contacted me after receiving the following comment on their story:

Now, while that is my username, I DEFINITELY did not leave this comment (and anyone who would leave something like that on a fic should be slapped! What an awful thing to post). This fic is in a completely unrelated fandom that I have never participated in, nor has that author participated in any of my fandoms, so the probability of it being some intentional fandom drama thing to make me look bad is also low.

The writer whose fic the comment was left on enlisted the aid of some friends and tracked down other guest comments with unrelated usernames attached, which is pretty strong evidence that they are being left by bots at random.

The TL;DR: If you receive a cruel comment from a (Guest) with an actual AO3 username attached, it's most likely from a bot. Please do not lash out at or dogpile the AO3 user who owns that name, and who in all likelihood has no idea that their name has been hijacked for evil.

If finding this kind of comment on a fic, even left by a bot, is likely to upset you, I would recommend changing your comment settings so that only users who are logged in can leave comments. To do this, edit your story settings, and under "Privacy," select the radio button that says "Only registered users can comment," as shown below.

Please spread the word to other AO3 users! And if you see mean guest comments on other fics, maybe let the author know that it's probably from a bot and not a real person who thinks their writing is bad.

Me and my brain just few mins ago for no reason:

Brain: I thought of a dance to go along with the jazz frog song

Me: that’s nice, am washing dish-

Brain: You gotta do it after you’re done YOU GOTTA ITS SO GOOD

Me: aight im do-

Brain: OK NOW DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE

Me: *dances*

Brain: ok that was cool so do you aspire to be a milf who cooks too much on purpose so she could share with everyone and always comes up with cute nicknames to call people like, sweetiepie, honeyboo, tatertots, etc. outfit styles ranges from country girl to badass stripper and acts extra af

Me: 

Me: omg how did you know-

Brain: well duh also hey check this out *dissociates*

Watch the pics gradually get more deranged like my sanity while editing this video (Song: Partner in crime by Madilyn Mei)

IT'S NO MORE THAN 1 MIN BUT IT TOOK ME LIKE 3-4 DAYS CUZ OF THE AMOUNT OF PICS I HAD TO FIT IN TO MATCH THE VIBE AND LYRICS

As for why I did this, honestly, simply because I had this song stuck in my head hshs and when I like a song sm I like to make an edit out of them, I did so for my previous songs but this took the most time and effort, and I'm proud of it!

The steps I took during the 3-4 days of editing:

1. Immediately inserted audio first in the vid so I can listen to the lyrics repeatedly and be in the zone while editing the pics

2. Drafting by focusing on editing 1 line each ONLY so I don't get overwhelmed. (ex. "Here's the reigns, take ahold of me, please don't let me go" that's 1 line, I didn't move on to the next line until I finished drafting that)

3. The most TEDIOUS task ever in editing: looking for the pics that would fit the lyrics and the vibe of the song, I used pinterest as my source

4. Putting the lyrics in only half of each lines cuz if I did full lyrics I would've took longer and gone more insane (also, it took me awhile to realize I could've just copy pasted the previous lyrics and just edit the words instead of clicking the text button each time and syncing them with the pictures one by one smh)

5. This is still the draft, are we following? okay, so I inserted all the pics I downloaded and idk what I did but the app buffered and the pics and lyrics after the 2nd line moved and it's not on sync with the audio anymore and I had to re-adjust it one by one

6. The 1st and 2nd lines (thank God) wasn't affected so I deleted everything other than those lines and had to take a break first, I think this was the 2nd day?

7. I downloaded more pics because the song was fast-paced so the I thought the transitions has to be fast, too, to match it, I just typed in " aesthetic" at the end of every theme I'm searching for (police aesthetic, murder aesthetic, partners in crime aesthetic, scream aesthetic etc. lol)

8. Then I edited the lyrics to have glitch effect cuz that's the only effect I found fitting(there was very limited options so I'm glad I found smth), I also edited the colors into dark blood red halfway to present the gradual decline in sanity(of the singer)

9. Recycled some pics at the last line cuz I couldn't take another searching(the pics were creeping me OUT) was worried it would look repetitive but I realized I could just adjust the filter, contrast, and use zooming to manipulate the perspective a lil bit

10. Finished draft on my last day, then edited some more so the lyrics, pics, and the transitions are on sync and match each others vibes, then we're finally done!

I'll do anything but review for the finals, seriously