Adam: Can you do me a favor?
Michael: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant falsified evidence at the crime scene, and take the blame for you but go on.
Adam: Cool so can you do the dishes?
Michael: no
Bruce traces a finger on her flawless and smooth skin.
Talia traces her hand over his many battle scars.
"You don't have any scars."
"I wish I was a canvas like you."
"Why? Is it not better to not have scars?"
"Beloved. The stretch marks that our son gifted me never stayed."
They look at each other. Bruce silently hugs her. He is a man of action and few words. He hopes the small comfort is enough.
There comes a time when the criminals prefer being taken in by Batman, because his kids go a little overboard:
Goon: "You won't kill me."
Cass: "You ready to bet your life on that?"
Duke: *tosses her the gun they took off the guy* "I would do what she says."
---------
Random thug: "Hey Batman doesn't kill--"
Damian: "Not like he's here. You're certainly not going to be able to tell him."
---------
Tim: "Well, accidents do happen. Shame." *starts to let go of the rope*
Guy dangling off the building: "No, no okay, okay, I'll tell you!"
---------
Steph: *clears throat*
Gang members: "We surrender!" *multiple guns fall to the ground*
Steph: "I see my reputation precedes me, wise choice."
---------
*Bruce gets chewed out by Gordon by the Batsignal because the rumours have spread so much, it kind of sounds like Batman's kids have been going around murdering people*
Bruce: "In my defense, it's only one of them."
Gordon: "What."
Bruce: *realizes he never filled Gordon in on Red Hood*
"How would you describe most of your favorite shows/books?"
Like this:
So, my favourite Batman ships are essentially;
Brutalia: "I could kill you" "I would let you"
Superbat: "I could kill you" "I know"
Ghostbat: "I could kill you" "You wish"
Peter: Love is weakness, an evolutionary mistake.
Matt: You’re literally making a valentine's day card for Johnny right now.
Peter: *points his glue gun at him* You’re on thin fucking ice Murdock.
"go to hell" is basic. "i hope your favourite AO3 work gets deleted." is smart. its possible. its terrifying.
jason is the only one who is not talking to anybody and this makes me really sad i wanna give him a hug
DC didn't give us more Tim and Damian's moments bc they know they would be unstoppable together
...
Tim: "See when I can focus directly on a case with no interruptions, my success rate goes up exponentially." (Hasn't slept in 56 hrs.)
Damian: "Statistics don't lie"
Tim: "Statistics don't lie"
...
Damian: "When I adopt more animals, it makes me happy, and if I'm happy, I work better with a team."
Tim: "And you help an animal that needs a home."
Damian: "EXACTLY!"
Tim: "If anything, its irresponsible to let them roam the streets as strays."
Damian: "That's what I said!"
...
Tim: "So one of the executives of this firm has been stealing some stuff, but unfortunately, he also has the resources and status to get him off the hook with a light sentence. Which sucks."
Damian: "What if you add a more serious crime to up the charges?"
Tim: "...That is GENIUS! I have dozens of cold cases that I've solved, but the culprits have already died! Im sure one of them could easily pass as him! "
Damian: "I can help if you need any evidence planted."
Tim: "Sure thing! I'll let you know when i find the right felony to give him!"
...
Dick: "At least they're having fun and getting along?"
Bruce: "This is not better. Stop trying to pretend this is better."
Gambit & Rogue sketch
I like them a lot
sally and percy were always each other’s constants, they became a bit more distant once percy found out he was a demigod, but they were still each others firsts
then estelle was born
percy loves estelle so much, so much it physically hurts
but he sees estelle and how happy she is, how she had a mom that doesnt work the night shift nearly every night and instead is home nearly all the time, and she has a dad that’s present and there and is safe and percy is so so happy that she has what he never did
but at the same time he knows thats the exact reason why it hurts
estelle has what percys wanted his whole life
and now estelle has the only thing percy had his whole life
being his mothers first and top priority
he knows why, he understands why, estelle is a baby and needs to be cared for constantly, and percys nearly 18 and doesnt need his mom all the time anymore
but it hurts because all the food is no longer blue, it hurts because he sees estelle grow up and get help, it hurts because he sees estelle with the life he always wanted, but knows he will never had
and it hurts because hes no longer his mother’s constant.
sally has paul now, she has paul to help her through her issues and she has a child that doesnt get expelled from every school shes been in
and percy has his family. but its not the same. annabeth has always been there, but she doesnt understand, thalia has been through the same childhood as percy but she doesnt know what its like to watch the bad go to good in the same household, grover has always listened but he just doesnt understand
because hes happy estelle has the life he always wanted. hes glad his mother has the life she always wanted. but hes not in that life. because hes moving out soon. and hes no longer his mothers son, at least not in the way he was before